On Matthew 17:24-26

Tax for two at two drachma each,
From the sea a shekel granted
Ask, o man for He is not out of reach.
Hence trust, your needs fulfilled.

Which one am I?

"It is one thing for a minister to be used by God. It is another for a minister to be pleasing in the sight of God." - Paul Gunadi

Quoted by Chandra Wim today in ISCF fellowship. Truly something that bug my mind in reflections for tonight. Truly, which one am I?

Boasting in our weakness

An interesting video. I bet it raises some eyebrows. I would agree to the spirit of it, but agree with it using all caution I have, for as it convey good message, it can also be translated differently. I do hope that the church can really act like God's people with integrity though, albeit continuously struggling to do so. I do hope that we may hate sins like cancer, and throw it out away as far as possible.

But more importantly, I hope that Christians can get over the differences that they have among each others, cooperate in harmony, and work together for God's glory.

The Man (or Woman) behind The Man (or Woman)

Just finished watching The King's Speech today. THAT WAS AWESOME! Really lives up to its 12 nominations for the Academy Awards. Now, I am not writing a movie review. You can go to any site if you want and you'll find one easily.

I am most moved by two characters: Geoffrey Rush's Lionel Logue and Helena Bonham Carter's Queen Mother. Not only because they acted splendidly, but because of their character and the part they played in the improvement of the King's speech capability.

Granted, the movie itself have its own problems on its historical accuracy, like the actual starting date of the treatment, Churchill's stand on Edward's abdication and the severeness of the King's stammer. But the character that they portrayed tells a lot.

Not every one of us is called to stand on the limelight. Some of us is called by God to do our part in a smaller scale, behind the one who are called to stand on the limelight. Assisting them, empowering them, being an honest and faithful friend to them. Like Logue, helping the King to overcome his problems by providing trainings and friendly support. Like Elizabeth, who as a wife pushed her husband to go beyond the limit, enabling the meeting between the two, and supporting her husband all the way.

This doesn't stop only in the film. If it's not because of his mother, Tom Hooper (the director), will not be making the movie. She was the one who bring the story to him, and he credited her on the Academy Awards stage, with the Oscar in his hand, and his mother in the audience.

If it was not because of Edward Kimball's urge to preach the word to D.L. Moody, then the Christianity scene in the world will be very different from today. If it is not because of the wisdom of Agus Salim, then Soekarno and Hatta will not be as big as they are today. Joseph towards Mary, Rebekah to the covenant family. Pinky to Brain.

We too have our own callings. We might not all called to be the one standing on the spotlight, being the figure seen by the public and directly become the one affecting this world. But we might be called to be the one standing by those people. Supporting them behind the curtain. We might not even be called to be the one closest to those people, maybe only someone minor to the eyes of this world. But we does make the difference alongside all God's people. God does not see us by how famous we are.

God sees us by how faithful we are to our calling.

Heed His Call. Let there be light!

Fairly Mental

*Disclaimer: this is a reflective post, and after writing it I realized that it can disturb some people. So, please pray and take a deep breath first. I don't have any answer for these questions that I throw for the time being, or even later on. But I know that I should still pursue what I can do best about it.

In conjunction with the having a bit of too much, my church visited the Institute of Mental Hospital Health today. I always mentioned that last "H" wrongly as "Hospital" instead of "Health" for some reason, so bear with me if it happens later on.

Anyway, this exposure trip is part of my responsibilities this term. We wanted to let the congregation be aware on the condition of the societies they are living in day-by-day. Coincidentally, FES also visited IMH last semester on their National Conference '10. So I asked around and decided to make the trip to IMH.

Originally, we planned to have a presentation by IMH at 2 to 3 pm followed by interaction with the patient from 3 to 5 pm. However, due to some unforeseen reasons, the presentation can only start at 2.45 and finished around 4.15 pm that means we don't have enough time to interact with the patients, who will have to go back to their room by 5 pm. So in the end, we only went into the ward where the patients who is well enough to get back to society is being treated.

But the visit was, for me, quite successful. We are exposed to the sad truth in our society, where mental health is a major source of Singaporeans' illnesses. It contributes 11% to the percentage of illnesses here, just 3% shy from Cancer, who sit at 14%. That is disturbing.

People around us got their own problems coping with their environment. Be it from internal or external factor, we are all affected. We do have some degree of mental illness in our minds. We just don't realize it, and thankfully, we are not chronic enough to get accepted into the institution. Or maybe we are just being unnoticed.

The thing is, it left me in horror when they told us that the institute has a lot of "possessions" in their care. That is, the patients whose their families abandoned them. Might be from the start no one cares, or someone who got parent who care but passed away and their brothers and sisters don't want to acknowledge them as relatives. Or maybe some unknown male or unknown female, who are not identified and no one is coming for them, even when the newspapers have shown their faces. There are many of them. And they are rejected by their own families. Parents, brothers, sisters, children.

It redefines the word "unreached people" to me. They are in a sense, even more unreached. Not that the geographical factors separate them from others, but their condition and the stigma of others fallen before them has left them as the outcast of the society. They are near, just one-hour MRT ride from boonlay. Yet I can't help to cry (well, figuratively at the moment of the presentation) to know that there are people like them.

Granted, there are a lot of doctors and nurses taking care of them. But even then, listening to the stories of the presenter that they are overjoyed by a visit of volunteers was proof that there are a big hole in their hearts even still. Granted, there are a lot of volunteers who come each weekends, especially on holidays. But for them who are left in solitude and friendless, a gentle act of love is something that is very meaningful.

This leads me to think to something even more disturbing. These people are those who are being treated in the institution. They are considered "lucky" enough that they have families who want them to get treated, regardless they are being accepted by the whole family or not. At least, they still have the doctors and nurses, specialists who care for them and working for their well-being. But what about the one who are not identified and treated?

I think it is very valid if I say that in this Asian context, to have someone admitted into hospital for mental illnesses is a big disgrace into the name of our families. Some parents does not even want to accept that their children are (pardon me) autistic, and made them go through the same system with other students, even though it will be such a torture to the child. Prestige and pride is higher than anything. Then there are people who are distressed, depressed or guilt-ridden. Some of them does not even have friends to share it into. Or even worse, their social networks told them that it was nothing big, and they expect them to get over it. The person can't get a proper care and compassions from others and eventually breaks down as their burden increases.

They might be beside us. People we know. People we usually have lunch or tea-time together. People who we usually read their blog about. People who usually go to Sunday Service or Fellowship together. People who at one time has been someone who brought back hope to us when we are down. People who we thinks are strong, but actually is acting strong because of the demand of the people around them. People who we thought are our so-called guru, but is actually bearing unjust expectation from us. Tormented. Dejected. Saddened. But because of one thing and another they have to carry on. And no one even sees.

They are even more unreached. They are even more forgotten.

It made me remember this song by Casting Crowns:

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Facebook notes reader can find the video here

When I first hear this song, I was directly struck by it. It was such a sad and scary song. Ironically, there are a lot of this people around us. Where are we, as brothers and sisters, to them who really needs us?

Let there be light.

William Whiting Borden

For you who came to my session in NTU ISCF Camp 2011 might already heard this name. Oh, for those who came to Chenli on the day of glory glory halleluyah should know as well, since I was yapping uncontrollably because I didn't know what to talk about for that particular song. But that song is for another day.

I wanted to write a full article about this man. I don't have the time now. So I'll post the video first. Anyway, if you're reading on FB or GBuzz, you might not be able to see the video. So you can check it here. Mark my word. I will write the article after this chaotic chapter subsided.

Coincidences can be good or bad

Went visiting to NTU ISCF PU today. They did it on TR31, so it was quite cramped. Pras is speaking, with "Shining Like Stars" as its topic. Typically, how to be a witness in campus perspective.

First time I heard about the topic I directly poke Alison who is sitting beside me, saying "Oh wow. Next week I'm going to speak for a similar topic for the first year in camp."

That means I need to rethink about my presentation outline, as unavoidably there will be some overlap (even though I find out that I did not need to change much, only reinforce). But that's extra work already. Lucky I decided to visit today.

Even more surprising, Alison told me: "Really? I'm also going to talk to the first year on camp on similar topic too To."

What? -.-'

Apparently, he will be talking about witnessing on the morning, followed by me the next session on a topic about connecting campus life and witnessing. Great. Another changes.

It turns out, being a speaker is not so simple when you consider the strings of speak being done before and after us. Getting tunnel visioned only on our responsibility is easy. Seeing the big picture, on the other hand, is pretty hard.

I guess, it is also the same when we apply it to our life. We think about our own responsibility, ministry and desires. We already checked that it does not clash with God's command so we think that it's okay to do that. So we do. But then we realize, we are not contributing anything. We forget to see that there are others beside us who already paved the path for us. In the end, it's not even effective anymore. Same thing happens even to things outside of our ministry, even PhD. Haha.

Important lesson learned. In times like this, I guess C.S. Lewis said it best:

"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."

Let there be light.

Of grace perfected

"...We have but to think of the myriads who have been delivered from all sorts of diseases through the power and virtue of his touch, and we shall joyfully put ourselves in his hands. We trust him, and sin dies; we love him, and grace lives; we wait for him and grace is strengthened; we see him as he is, and grace is perfected forever."

- Charles Spurgeon

Weary

Why are we weary? Why are we afraid?
Isn't it God Himself that is standing beside us?
No matters is too big for Him,
No situation is too much for Him.
He who makes the universe revolves,
And it is Him who made the earth go round.
No cries of human is too trivial for Him,
There are no sufferings that He did not understand
For He Himself hung on that cross
Dying, forsaken, for me and for you.

He knows what we are going through.
But why are we worried still?
Supposedly, in Him we found refuge
But why, o man, you think that He did not understand?
Why are we thinking that our life is too unimportant to Him,
While He Himself come down from heaven,
To be shamed, suffer and die for us?

Let no man fall and mistaken.
For if the Lord is not the Lord of all,
Then He is not your Lord at all.

O weary heart, find your peace.

Mark 13 - Part 2

Ok… Back to Mark 13

We left off last time as Jesus warned the disciples of the persecutions that lie in wait for them. The next things that Jesus said were this:

1. The appearance of “Abomination of desolation” standing where he shouldn’t be (14)
2. Run to the mountains when that happens, immediately (14-16)
3. Pray that it will not happen in bad timing (17-18)
4. The tribulation will be like nothing ever seen before (19)
5. If the Lord does not cut it short, all will perish (20)
6. Appearance of false prophets, christs, and signs (21-22)
7. Be on guard since He has said that beforehand (23)

If Jesus was referring to the end of times, then most likely He is talking about the tribulation (and hence, pre-millennialism view). Verses 14-18 will means that someone can do something to avoid (or at least, lessen) the effect of the tribulation, and it would be detrimental if someone have his or her focus on something else, as they will most likely fall on the tribulations. The tribulations will be the worse the world has ever seen (worse than the signs in Signs 1) but God will make it short for the sake of the elect. Hence we, as those elect, must be on guard.

It is also possible, however, if Jesus was referring to the historical destruction of the temple. The “Abomination of desolation” refers to Daniel 9:27 and 11:31. The words “let the readers understand” (verse 14) is not a remark from Mark but a remark from Jesus, saying to the disciple to recognize what Daniel meant. If it is so, then Jesus is telling the disciple to be on guard and flee from Jerusalem when the “Abomination of desolation” is standing where he shouldn’t be, as the tribulation will be great on them if they stay.

In actual, this is what happened back before the temple was destroyed by Titus. In 67-68 A.D. Jewish fanatics occupied the temple, and they allowed people who had committed crimes to roam freely in the holy of holies, even those who had committed murder. They even committed sins inside the holy of holies. The apex of the monstrosity was when they elected Phanni as a high priest – and it was said that he was a clown. Jesus is giving them an escape plan: They are to flee to the hills as the Romans will pillage Jerusalem, they are to flee hastily (the rooftop in that time was flat, and it is such a way that you can run to the city wall from the rooftop), pray that it will not be in winter as the roads will not be passable, and not on Sabbath as the gates will be closed. The Christians actually follow these instructions under the leadership of Symeon (a cousin of Jesus) where they flee to Pella in Pyrea, in the hills east of Sea of Galilee. It was said by Josephus that no Christian died on the holocaust.

(In fact, there is another event which is regarded as an appearance of “Abomination of desolation” by the Jews. It happens before the times of Jesus in 168 BC when Antiochus Ephipanes slaughtered 40000 Jews in the temple, sacrificed a pig on the altar, sprinkling the blood on the holy ground deliberately and put a statue of Zeus in the altar. At the times of Jesus, all Jews knew about this and they can be really scared when Jesus said that the next will be worse)

Again, we can’t determine the context of the text, whether it is only on the end of times or end of the temple, or both. Let us just say these points as “Signs 3: Tribulations”

Jesus continues by saying:

1. About how the Son of Man will return after the tribulations (24-26)
2. The elect shall be gathered from everywhere (27)
3. Again, to be ready as they know what will happen when it is near (28-29)
4. This generation will not pass away until all these things pass away (30)
5. Jesus’ words will ever be true (31)
6. Regarding the time of the second coming, only the Father knows (32)
7. Again, be on guard (33-37)

Let us say that these signs are “Signs 4: Second Coming”. Now, we all know that Jesus did not come when the temple was destroyed. However it does not mean that Jesus is not talking about the destruction of the temple. On the contrary, if Jesus is talking about the end of times all the while, the saying of verse 30 will not make sense. The statement will be “This generation will not pass away until the end of times and the tribulations pass away”! So this last part is, in my opinion, in favor of either “end of the temple” or composite context. The “end of the times” context is not able to stand alone without making the whole arguments confusing.

What is clear however, is that when the times of tribulation is over (depending on how you see it, we can conclude two different ways, that the tribulation has started and we are still there, or that it is still in the future) the Son of Man will return. And He will return in His full glory such that we can’t miss it. All of His elect will be gathered from everywhere, further supports that the second coming will not come until the Gospel is told to all nations. For that we must be ready.

I have not been able to reach into any conclusions, even though I have written all these. I’ll try to wrap it up in the next post.

The odd people

The real Christian is an odd number anyway.
He feels supreme love for One whom he never seen,
talks familiarly everyday to Someone he cannot see,
expects to go to heaven on the virtue of Another,
empties himself in order to be full,
admits he is wrong so he can be declared right,
goes down in order to get up,
is strongest when he is weakest,
richest when he is poorest,
and happiest when he feels worst.
He dies so he can live,
forsakes in order to have,
give away so he can keep,
sees the invisible, hears the inaudible,
and know that which passeth knowledge

A. W. Tozer, The Root of the Righteous

O, odd people, hear that.

Let there be light.

On the way to work

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.

They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
They are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalms 19:7-14

Stumbled on this verses on my way to work today. God forbids me from falling down further in disobedience. May my life be pleasing in Your sight Lord.

The words of Agur

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him. 
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar. 
Two things have I required of thee; deny me them not before I die: 
Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches;
Feed me with food convenient for me: 
Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD?
Or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.

Proverbs 30:5-9

Let's start writing the 23rd page!

Okay, I know I promised to write this note on Wednesday. Unfortunately, my body is getting the better of me and I fell pray to throat infection, that I have to stay bedridden for two days. So, let's just start this before it's not relevant anymore =P.

Okay so....

1. On Life Vision, I hope that I can have the confirmation on what I am going to do this year. Be it study or professional work or even, full-time ministry work if it come to that, I hope that I can have the confirmation from God this year. Or at least on the 24th page. (I know what I think I want to do, but I'm still waiting for God's confirmation)

2. On ministry, I am hoping to be able to start ministering as a speaker in FES-IM starting this year -- I hope. I need to find what will be most suitable for me to talk about. Maybe on leadership/fellowship management/church history. I also wish to be more effective being a PKTB,  and have more focused involvement in student ministry. Having said that, I hope that I will not be neglecting my duty in church. Hope I can do them both in a balanced way.

3. On KTB, like I said, I want to be more effective. I want to be more focused on the people, having finished most of the curriculum (20% to go I think). Need to start preparing them for being a PKTB as well (if they wanted to be).

4. On relationship with others, I wish I can sort out this struggle that I had for the past 10 months =/. I hope that I can be a better friend for others, and stop giving circling answers (that would be hard as hell)

5. On that side of relationship..... like what i said on my last post.... errrrr.... hahaha. I guess I will still be as timid and as clueless as usual. Hoping for the best, but will not force my will if it is not His. I guess I will wait on God to show me His will. I like Danny Gokey's new song: My best days are ahead of me. Amen to that. =D

6. On personal development. I want to have more time on reading on bible expository, and I think I need to improve my quiet time as well. But more importantly, I have to improve on the applications of the word.

7. On personal relationship with God, as I said earlier, improve my quiet time, lean on God's mighty hand, and trust in His judgment. Don't want to have dry moment anymore, and stop falling in the same hole over and over again. God help me.

8. I want to be a good uncle. LOL

9. Double the amount of saving. Need to build up reserves for later on as I might be forced to take drastic measure. I think.

10. Stabilize my self on 65 mark. XD

11. Reduce my bad habits, and be a better listener.

12. Work harder, better, and increase my involvement in day-to-day operations.

13. And maybe.. I want to have a better structured life. I guess I am messy.

Well.. all thing being said and done, I think I will not be able to fulfill all that in one year. But hey, we need to aim high in life right? ;)

Please pray for me that I can be a better Christian, and be more like Him day by day.

"He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor"
(Proverbs 15:32-33)

And thus the twenty third page is on

Yesterday's was my twenty-third birthday. I was sharing with my friends over my place on Sunday night, without realizing that they prepared a surprise party for me (that is, until nearing the midnight where some of them are acting a bit strange ;p). Anyway, I guess I am happy that I can spend my birthday with those who I regard as closest friend here in Singapore. It was cool. Thanks for the sharing and the surprise party.

Now, after one tiring day of writing comment on facebook wall due to the enormous amount of my friends who congratulate me via facebook, I did some reflections as usual. I reflect back at the previous year, the highlights and lowlights. Let me share with you some of them:

1. On my life vision, I am still sure about taking further studies and, God permits, becoming a lecturer. I just love working among students. Even though right now I am feeling very happy working in my company, old aspirations die hard. However, I have to admit that I do take some time to consider about continuing in professional field as an engineer. The door is still open for both. I have some ideas about it, but am still waiting for God's confirmation. Hoping to settle everything in three years time.
2. On my ministries, After five year exploring campus and church ministries, I have found what I think I wanted to do. I am still passionate about campus ministries and will run back with haste if I can contribute something. It's not that I don't want to serve in church, but I think that is my calling. But I won't stop ministering in church - it's just that I will focus my hearts on it. What I want to do? Maybe something that is closely related to me, teaching, equipping and leadership development.
3. On KTB, I have to say that we are at a crossroad right now, with Kentank going to final year next semester and the other three is (forced?) to seriously consider their future ministries. The previous year has been cool though. I have seen how some of them grow significantly, and discussions inside the group is increasingly getting interesting. There are still a lot of space to develop, but I'm satisfied, so far. Bru, if you're reading this, it does not mean that you can relax. I'm satisfied, but I'm barely satisfied. haha.
4. On relationship with others, I still think that I need to work out more on this part. period. being a phlegmatic-melancholic who were converted into choleric-melancholic is not.. easy.
5. On that side of relationship... ...errr.... Still clueless as usual I guess hahaha... But I have decided to spent 2009 in singleness after my last relationship. And guess what, it was a blessed experience, being able to explore more. I thank God for the year =).
6. On personal development, I think that I'm too focused on church history last year. I need to learn more on Christian Leadership and Bible Expository. On professional/academic side, learned a lot about SIM Card here in my work so I guess it's enough.
   
7. On personal relationship with God, this one is still tricky, roller-coaster as always. First half of my 22nd was dry, but the second was more encouraging. I do hope I can grow more in the future. I have to work on my recurring bad-habit though.
   
8. I'm going to be an uncle in 5 months time. duh.
9. I'm still as clumsy as ever.
10. My mouth is still getting the better of me.
11. I really enjoyed my work so far =)
12. Money spending... some said that I overspend my money, but on my side of things, I'm still on track of my saving plan that I decided after I graduate. And it was not an easy target. So... no, I don't agree with them. Haha.
13. At least I managed to stabilize over 67-69 over the year. Want to drop it to around 65. lol.

Now, I guess I need to start thinking about what I want to do next year.. I'll post that tomorrow. =)

Thanks to those who give their regards yesterday. I felt the blessings of the Lord through you.

Soli Deo Gloria.

The Anxious Heart and the Victory.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

(Psalms 139:23-24, NIV)

I read this verses last night on my quiet time. Now, as I am currently in pseudo-melancholic-ish mood, I do reflect a lot on my grimy heart, which is unable to fulfill the Lord's will. The more I try to do it, the more I realized that I am not capable of it. Even though I have been saved, truth is, I am still another sinner among sinners. I am only a sinner who is lucky enough to have been able to know Him.

But I have to say it always came back to me: "Lord, I always commit sin in my life, there's no day that I passed without committing sin, be it intentionally or unintentionally. I have those sins that I have tendencies to fall to, and even though the frequency is lower, I still fall in the same hole at times of my weaknesses." Now, I don't blame the evil force for it, as no matter what it is, the one who committed them is still, me. I won't get anywhere if I blame (borrowing C.S. Lewis' words) "our father below". However, I still can't get it out of my minds that Our Father Above is sad when I fall over and over again.

I shouted and shouted: "Why have you chosen me?", "How can you still forgive me" and even at one time, "Will you even want to forgive me once again?" I drew anxious and fall into my knees.

It was not until the night that I found my peace. Those verses gave me peace, because He told me that He know who I am. He told me that he understand what is inside our heart. He is not just fighting this battle with us -- He fought this battle FOR us.

And He won.

So God, please see my heart again, show me the depths of my own heart, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Thank you, Lord.

Let there be light (once again).

I.Cannot.Die.

"Whether life or death be mine, may Christ be magnified in me! If he has work for me to do, I cannot die."

- Henry Martyn

Died among strangers in the city of Tocat in Asiatic Turkey on October 16, 1812 at the age of thirty-one years old, on his missionary work. He worked alongside William Carey after abandoning his life as an academic for God's work.

Christ's work for Martyn was done, and he had done it well. He has received and will receive his reward - the promise of our faith in Christ. Do you let God work through your life? Your work here is not done. Not yet.

Equipping Layman

I read Septian's post yesterday and those phrase catch my attention.

Coincidentally, I hook up with my friend who is the president of a campus fellowship here in Jogja and talked a lot about the context of student ministry and other stuff here in Jogjakarta.

And then I can't help to be reminded of one of FESIM core business, formacion a.k.a. discipleship. Then I wonder about its impact on mission and evangelism - both directly and indirectly.

I realized one thing: this is a field that needs cultivating. It is not as good as it seems, and I am really fortunate to live in a context where I can be equipped so much even when I am only a..

..Layman

Thank you Lord.

Let there be light!

The Lord knows

This is taken from Charles Spurgeon's Evening by Evening. Simply hopes that it gave you a blessing, as it have done for me this evening.

----

And God saw the light.
- Genesis 1:4

This morning we noticed the goodness of the light, ad the Lord's dividing it from the darkness. We now note the special eye that the Lord had for the light: "God saw the light." He looked at it with satisfaction, gazed on it with pleasure, and saw that it "was good" (Gen 1:4). If the Lord has given you light, dear reader, He looks on that light with special interest, not only because it is dear to Him as His own handiwork, but also because it is like Himself, for "God is light" (1 John 1:5). It is pleasant to the believer to know that God's eye is thus tenderly observant of that work of grace that He has begun in him. He never loses sight of the treasure that He has placed in our earthen vessels. Sometimes we cannot see the light, but God always sees the light, and that is much better than our seeing it. Better for the judge to see my innocence than for me to think I see it. It is very comfortable for me to know that I am one of God's people; but whether I know it or not, if the Lord knows it, I am still safe. This is the foundation: "The Lord knoweth them that are his" (2 Tim 2:19). You may be sighing and groaning because of inbred sin and mourning over your darkness, yet the Lord sees light in your heart, for He has put it there. All the cloudiness and gloom of your soul cannot conceal your light from His gracious eye. You may have sunk low in despondency and even despair, but if your soul has any longing toward Christ, and if you are seeking to rest in His finished work, God sees the light. He not only sees it, but also preserves it in you. "I the Lord do keep it" (Isa 27:3). This is a precious thought to those who after anxious watching and guarding of themselves feel their own powerlessness to keep themselves. The light thus preserved by God's grace He will one day develop into the splendor of noonday and the fullness of glory. The light within is the dawn of the eternal day.

Christmas Reflections

Now, this is the most melancholic period of the year. Ever since I entered NTU and knew about Christ better, the month of December got.. A certain special meaning. This Christmas is no exception, as it was very special as well.

I tried to reflect in my life what does Christmas means to me (For they say, Christmas isn't Christmas 'til it happen in your heart). I started from the first week of Advent as I went through the traditional meaning of each candles lit every week: Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. I got mixed feelings, and I even experienced serious struggles in between them. Why does the second week of Advent celebrate Peace when I have troubles running into my minds? Where does the hope that they say comes with Him when I felt hopeless in my struggles? I can see the Joy in the celebration of Christmas, but it's not always inside people's hearts. And don't let me begin on the love - we are incapable of it.

But as today's Christmas service went through the candle light prayers I remember my friend back on the time of my late first year or early second year said on a sharing that:

"When an object moves towards a light or a candle, its shadow will grow bigger"

Now that was what we might experience in our life. We felt that even though we tried to do His bidding we are unable to do so. We felt that even when we tried to do what He commands us to do towards our neighbor, they don't response back or neglect us (it hurts even more when the neighbor is a fellow believer). We felt that we are hopeless men walking in sorrowful path, with the burden of our sinful ways (that we still walk into after we accept Jesus) crippling our spine.

But it is not because we are getting worse, neither it is because God is bullying us. But it is because He shows us what we need to do and what we are lacking of. He shows us who we really are by shining His light into our deepest, darkest heart.

Now that should make us realize that, even in our best condition, we are still far from God's standard. That is why we are able to appreciate His sacrifice even more: that God came down to earth as a humbled man to die on the symbolism of curses and stain. He brings hope to our life: for without Him we have none. He brings peace to our life: for without Him all is lost. He brings joy to our life: for without Him there is no reason to be joyful. He introduced to us what is love: for He is love, and with His love we are freed.

So to close this reflections, I want to share a song I used in the Christmas service when I am leading it. It is called "Muliakanlah" in Indonesian (KJ100), but in the original version, it is called "Ere zij God".

As usual, click on this link if you're reading from Facebook.

Ere Zij God

Ere zij God, ere zij God!
In de hoge, in de hoge, in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
In de mensen een welbehagen.
Ere zij God in de hoge, ere zij God in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde!
In de mensen, in de mensen, een welbehagen!
In de mensen, een welbehagen, een welbehagen!
Ere zij God, ere zij God!
In de hoge, in de hoge, in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
In de mensen een welbehagen.
Amen, amen.

Muliakanlah

Muliakanlah, muliakanlah!
Tuhan Allah, Tuhan Allah, Maha Tinggi!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Bagi orang pengasihan-Nya.
Muliakanlah Tuhan Allah! Muliakanlah Tuhan Allah!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi!
Bagi orang, bagi orang, pengasihan-Nya!
Bagi orang, pengasihan-Nya, pengasihan-Nya!
Muliakanlah, muliakanlah!
Tuhan Allah, Tuhan Allah, Maha Tinggi!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Bagi orang pengasihan-Nya.
Amin, amin.

Let there be Light in our hearts.

Oh and yea... Merry Christmas to all of you =)