The Twelve Apostle

It takes me some time to finish this small project of blogging about the twelve original apostles of Jesus. I would say that throughout my readings I learned a lot of things. But the most remarkable words is that no matter who we are and how ordinary we are, God is the God who can change our life and enables us to do what he calls us to do. Our lives matters in the eye of the Lord, and he is willing to use us, no matter how weak or how imperfect we are.

Personally, I often find myself forgetting about this quite a number of times. I worried a lot about performing badly and felt unworthy of doing His calling into my life. But I thank God that He used friends to remind me that it was not me who is doing the works, it is Him, and for whomsoever He calls, He will give the power to enables them to do so. Seeing the life of the apostles reminds me of who I am, but more importantly, it reminds me of who God is.

So.. Just to give you the so-called homepage for the series of post about the twelve apostle, I made this post. I would like to give the credit of the post to Mr. John MacArthur though, since the content of the posts was taken largely from his books "Twelve Ordinary Men" (you can get it for S$15.90 at SKS. This post serves as a book review as well. LOL). Other source was taken from my notes of my church series of sermon two years ago about the apostles, and of course the Bible.

I would like to close the series with a sentence taken from the letter of an apostle who is not inside the twelve:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:9, NIV)

List of posts on the twelve apostles

1. Simon Peter (click here)
2. Andrew and James son of Zebedee (click here)
3. John son of Zebedee (click here)
4. Philip and Nathanael (click here)
5. Matthew and Thomas (click here)
6. James the Less, Simon the Zealot, Judas Thaddeus (click here)
7. Judas Iscariot (click here)

Let there be light!

The Twelve: Judas Iscariot

We’ve come to the last apostle chosen by Jesus: Judas Iscariot. I have been unable to write since I was sick this week; but after sleeping my whole day off I don’t have anything to do other than writing this and read books. Perfect for me. 

He is the most notorious and universally scorned apostle. He is always mentioned last in every account of Gospel, and every record of him in the Gospel includes a notation of him being a traitor. Simply put, he is the most colossal failure in all of human history. He committed the most horrible, heinous act of any individual, ever. He betrayed the perfect, sinless, holy Son of God for a handful of money. He spent three years with Christ, yet his heart always grows hard and hateful. 

The other eleven apostles are all great encouragement for us since they exemplify how common people with typical failings can be used by God in uncommon, remarkable ways. Judas, however, stands as a warning about the evil potential in our heart. The New Testament tells us plenty about Judas; summarized into two points: (1) his life reminds us that it is possible to be near Christ and yet became utterly hardened in sin and (2) no matter what treachery he or she attempt against God, the purpose of God cannot be thwarted. 

Who he was

His name meant “Jehovah leads”, a name which will always be remembered as the synonym of treachery. His surname, Iscariot, signifies the region he came from: “man of Kerioth”, a small town south of Judea. Apparently, he was the only apostle who did not come from Galilee. The Galilean disciple unfamiliarity with Judas would have aided him in his deception, no one knows who he was, and it would be easy to play the hypocrite. He was able to became the treasurer of the group and pilfer their money. 

His calling into discipleship was not recorded in any of the Gospel accounts, but it is obvious that he joined willingly, eager to see the Messianic prophecy fulfilled. He obviously left behind all he have and followed Jesus. He even stayed behind when most of the less-devoted disciple left Jesus. He had given his life to follow Jesus, but he never gave Jesus his heart. 

It seems that Judas has the same hope with most of the Jewish community: that the Messiah would defeat the oppressors and restore the kingdom to Israel. However, his motivation was more political than spiritual. He is interested with the things he could get from being his disciple, hoping to get wealth, power and prestige. He chose to follow Jesus, and Jesus also chose him. His role of betrayal was ordained before the foundation of the world; even prophesied in the Old Testament. Jesus knew that he will betray Him, and he knowingly chose him to fulfill the plan. 

Having said that however, Judas was not coerced into doing what he did. No invisible hand forced him to betray Christ. He acted freely and without external compulsion, responsible for his own actions. There is no contradiction between being prophesied to betray and betraying out of his choice. It just perfectly concurred. 

He had the same potential as the other disciples; the difference is that he was never drawn to the Person of Christ. He only saw him as a means to an end. His goal was personal prosperity; he never embraced His teaching by faith. He never had an ounce of true love for Christ. His heart had never been changed, and the light of the truth only hardens him. 

Meanwhile, he was becoming progressively more disillusioned with Christ. It was no doubt that at the start all apostles thought of the Jewish Messiah as an oriental monarch who would defeat the enemies of Judea and reestablish the Davidic kingdom. Jesus was the obvious fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy. But Jesus did not always their personal expectations and ambitions (and He did that to us too). The apostles left everything they have behind, but with an expectation of getting their reward. He did tell them that they will have their rewards, but not in the immediate time nor in the material reward. If they expect that kind of rewards, than they will be disappointed. 

The eleven apostles catch who Jesus really was, albeit slowly, and their expectation and understanding was changed; they gladly became the partakers of Christ’s work in Earth. Judas, meanwhile, became disillusioned. He hid his disappointment within the blanket of hypocrisy, corrupting the money of the group in the meantime. His worldliness in his heart was never conquered, and he remained as an outsider secretly. As early as John 6 we can see Jesus call Judas as ‘evil’. He was starting to get disillusioned. By the time of Jesus last Passover, his spiritual disenfranchisement was complete, it turned to hate, mixed with greed that finally turned into treachery. He probably was convinced that Jesus had stolen his life; he thought that Jesus had robbed three years of money-making potentials. 

Avarice, Hypocrisy and Betrayal 

Let us turn back to the raising of Lazarus. Shortly after this story, Jesus and the apostles returned to Bethany, had a feast there alongside with Lazarus, Martha and Mary in the house of Simon the Leper. And there it happened, Mary took a pound of a very costly oil of spikenard and anointed the feet of Jesus, wiped it with her hair and the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. This act was shocking in its extravagance, as it was not only an overt act of worship, but also because that it has an appearance of wastefulness.

Perfume, even at this time, was designed to be used in a small amount. To pour such an expensive perfume at one time was unthinkable. Judas then protested: Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor? 

Three hundred denarii. Three hundred days of work. Imagine you work for S$2800 a month for a year – that’s how expensive the perfume was. And it was poured all at once. 

His response was a clever ploy. He hid behind the names of the poor, and it seems that it was reasonable in the minds of the other apostles as well. He was an expert in hypocrisy. But the true reason behind it was so that he can steal the money for himself. No one sees his true reason, no one except Jesus. But he did not blast Judas with condemnation nor did he expose his true intention in front of the other apostles. He just gave him a mild rebuke. However, it seems that this event broke the last straw inside Judas, because right after that he made an arrangement with the priest to sell him for thirty piece of silver – that was all he can get, a price for a slave set in Exodus. 

Our Lord has been anointed with such overwhelming love by Mary but at the same time He was betrayed with an overwhelming hate by Judas. This apparently was the first time Judas exposed himself and it was the first time he received a direct rebuke from Christ. He blended with the other disciple cleverly, he stored all his bitterness thus far, and it was poured in secret treachery. 

Having collected the money from the chief priest he went to the upper room. He received Jesus’ teaching of humility by washing of feet, unmoved. As Jesus said that they were completely clean, but not all of them are clean, and said that one of them will betray Him, he could join with the other apostles in asking Him: “Lord, is it I?” We know what happened afterwards. Jesus dipped bread, gave it to Judas and told him this: “What you do, do quickly.” Even with this expression the other apostles did not realize that Judas was the betrayer. That was the extent of his hypocrisy. 

Only after Judas left the upper room did the Lord institute the Lord’s Supper. To this day, when we come to the Lord’s Supper, we were instructed to examine ourselves lest we come hypocritically and bring judgment to ourselves. 

He went straight to the Sanhedrin, gave them the way to get to Jesus secretly and let loose the event that lead to Jesus’ crucifixion. This however, was not an impulsive act or an act in the moment of insanity. This act was premeditated and planned carefully, and he has taken his payment for it. He waited to betray them in absence of the multitude. He was a coward, and we know what happened afterwards. 

Jesus was still gracious to him even at the time of Judas’ betrayal. He still addressed him as ‘friend’. He had never been anything but friendly to Judas, but Judas was no true friend of Jesus. Judas profaned the Passover that night. He profaned the Lamb of God. He profaned the Son of God. He betrayed the Lord with a kiss. 

The Death of the Betrayer 

Immediately after he gave Jesus to the chief priest, he was disturbed by his conscience. He found himself in the hell of his own making. It was not because of his guilt caused by his sin, but simply because he did not find the satisfaction he expected. He even gave back the money he received, but nothing can undo what he had done. He threw the thirty coins of silver, and hanged himself afterwards. 

He was such a tragic figure that his death was not even in the way that he wanted. Apparently, he fell after he died of hanging into a rock and burst open. His life and death were filled with grotesque tragedies. 

Judas is a tragic example of lost opportunities. He heard the Lord’s teaching and he had all the opportunity to ask the Lord about his questions directly. Christ had given him all the opportunity to do so, yet in the end Judas was condemned because of his own failure. 

Judas is the epitome of wasted privilege. He was given the highest place of privilege among all the disciples; and he squandered it for a fistful of coins that he throws in the end. He is the classic illustration of how the love of money is root of all kinds of evil. 

Judas exemplifies the ugliness and danger of spiritual betrayal, but he is also the proof of the patient forbearing goodness and loving kindness of Christ. The sovereign will of God cannot be thwarted by any means. 

After his death, his office was filled by Matthias. Nothing is known of Matthias other than that he was a disciple from the time of Jesus’ baptism by John. Another perfectly ordinary man was chosen.

The Twelve: JSJ

Now, let us move on to the last group of four out of the twelve. We will discuss on three apostles at once in this post. It’s not that I’m lazy to write about them one-by-one. It’s just that we only know very little about them, even virtually nothing for some. The last four was almost unknown, except for you-know-who: Judas Iscariot. We will get to him in the last post. For now, please welcome James the Lesser, Simon the Zealot, and Judas who isn’t Iscariot (a.k.a. Thaddeus, a.k.a. Lebbaeus).

James son of Alpheus, the Lesser.


The ninth name in all scripture recording is James son of Alphaeus, and that is all that we know about him.

Seriously.

The only thing we know about him is his name, his father’s name and his family. If he ever wrote anything, it has been lost. If he ever told about anything or did anything notable, it is not recorded. He is neither stand out or notorious, totally obscure, totally common – even his name was totally common.

We know about James son of Zebedee, we know about James the brother of Jesus, but this James, eludes us. We know about the name of his father (Alphaeus), we also knew that his mother’s name was Mary (Mark 15:40) and his brother’s name was Joses (Mark 15:47, Matthew 27:56). We know more about his mother than we know about himself, which is, Mary was one of Jesus devout follower, she was a witness in the crucifixion event, and she was one who prepares the burial of Jesus. Even his nickname shows that he is not prominent: “the less” or mikros, meaning young or little.

From that nickname, scholars predicted that he might be someone quiet, small and young, who prefer to stay in the background. Nevertheless, he is still one of the apostles who in the end was used greatly by the Lord, and will have his name inscribed in one of the twelve gates of the heavenly city.

More interesting speculation about him is that Matthew’s father’s name was also Alphaeus, but we can’t conclude that James and Matthew were brothers. We also knew that in John 19:25 there was a woman named ‘Jesus’ mother’s sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas’ mentioned. Now, if this ‘Mary, the wife of Clopas’ and ‘Mary, the wife of Alphaeus’ was the same (meaning Clopas is the nickname of Alphaeus) then it is possible that James the Less was Jesus’ cousin. But again, this is just a speculation.

But one thing we know, James the lesser, might be the apostle who resembles us more than the other eleven: total nobody.

Simon the Zealot


Remember when I said that one of Jesus’ twelve apostles was a terrorist? Well, meet Simon, the Zealot. He was also mentioned as ‘Simon the Cananite’. It was not a reference to Canaan or the city of Cana, but rather, it came from the word qanna, meaning ’to be zealous’. He was evidently at a point of his time a member of the Zealots, a widely feared outlaw political sect in that period of time. The fact that he was a member of the Zealots tells us that he has a fiery and zealous personality.

The historian Josephus mentioned about four main sects of the Jews at the time of Jesus. The Pharisees were the fastidious one about the Law, the religious fundamentalist. The Sadducees were the rich, aristocratic, powerful, religious liberals who deny the supernatural. They were in charge of the temple. The third sect was the Essenes, who were not mentioned in the Scripture at all, but it was a group of celibate people studying the Law and secluded themselves in the caves of Qumran (said to be the one who wrote the Dead Sea Scroll). The last sect was the Zealots.

The Zealots was more politically minded than the other three. They hated the Romans, and their main agenda is to overthrow the Roman occupation. They advanced their agenda through acts of terrorism, violence, or even sometimes, assassination. In terms of the Law, they are similar to the Pharisees, but they are the militant version of the Pharisees. They believed that God Himself was the one who had the rights over the Jews, waiting for the Messiah to come and free them from the Romans.

They revolted once in 6 A.D., having thoughts that paying taxes to the Romans was treason. They revolted in a guerilla-style and terrorism actions, but eventually quelled by the Romans, and killed their leader, Judas of Galilee. His sons were crucified by the Romans. After that, they went underground. They formed a group of assassins named the sicarii (dagger men) who brought a curved dagger everywhere and would be ready to kill Romans soldier and politician from behind, stabbing at their ribs, expertly ripping of their victim’s heart. Galilee was their main hideout and they are so zealous that they won’t falter even in the face of tortures.

It was believed that the Romans siege over Jerusalem and their plunder over the temple were caused by the Zealots. The Romans under Titus Vespasian in 70 A.D. surrounded the city, cut off their supplies and sacked Jerusalem. It was even said that the Zealots would kill any Jews who wanted to negotiate with the Romans, allowing no one to surrender. Titus Vespasian eventually destroyed the city, slaughters thousands of Jews, and stole every treasure inside the temple. The Zealot blind hatred of Rome eventually brings the destruction of the city the loved the most.

Now Simon was one of them. The reason why he followed Jesus’ might be of a political one: hoping that Jesus the Messiah would bring an end to the Romans. Interestingly, he would be included in the twelve apostles along with Matthew, the tax collector. Well, I believe he would gladly kill Matthew because of it, or at least despise him, but of course, it doesn’t happen. He changed. When Jesus didn’t do anything to the Romans oppression (even saying to the Jews to pay the taxes of the Romans) we would be thinking that Simon will be disappointed and leave. But he did not. He changed because he knew Jesus, and he sees the truth.

Judas who isn’t Iscariot


The name Judas became notorious after Judas Iscariot betrayal. Actually, it was a very common name and a very good one. The name ‘Judas’ meant ‘Jehovah leads’. But after Judas Iscariot, it will forever be remembered as the name of the worst traitor in human history. He actually has three names: Judas, Lebbaeus and Thaddeus. Judas was probably his given name, while ‘Thaddeus’ meant ‘breast child’ or in today’s terms, ‘Momma’s child’. ‘Lebbeaus’ had a similar meaning, which is ‘heart child’. It seems that in the same group who had a traitor and a terrorist, there was someone who had a tender and childlike heart.

Like the James the lesser and Simon, few are known about this guy. But at least there was a record of him in John’s Gospel. The account came from (again) the Upper Room when Jesus held the Last Supper. It was when Jesus said to the disciples that “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father and I will love him and manifest Myself to Him” (John 14:21). Judas (not Iscariot) then said to Him, “Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?” (John 14:22).

Here we see the tender-hearted humility of this man. He doesn’t say anything brash or bold or overconfident. He didn’t rebuke Jesus like Peter once did. His statement is full of gentleness and devoid of any signs of pride. Jesus would manifest Himself in the eleven common people. Judas (not Iscariot) can’t believe it. He thought that it would be far better if Jesus would manifest to the whole world. Now, that’s really something!

This was a pious, believing disciple. This was a man who loved his Lord and who felt the power of salvation in his own life. He was full of hope for the world, and he hopes to see His Kingdom come into the Earth. Jesus would then give him a marvelous answer: “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him” (John 14:23). Christ would manifest Himself to anyone who loves Him.

The three unknowns

It was amazing that through various yet ordinary, defected people God would want His name to be glorified. James was a virtually unknown guy, without anything special attributed to him. If there’s anything special about him, it was ‘nothing special’. But tradition said that he brought the Gospel to Syria and Persia. His death was also obscure, some said he was stoned, others say he was beaten to death; some others say he was crucified.

Simon was a member of a rebellious terrorist sect. He was zealous but fiery. He might join Jesus for the wrong reason, but in the end he was changed, and through him, God is glorified. After the destruction of Jerusalem Simon took the gospel north and preached in the British Isles, and disappeared from the biblical accounts. No reliable records about his death, but all records said that he was martyred. The one who was willing to kill for his political agenda is transformed into someone who was willing to be killed for the proclamation of salvation.

Thaddeus was the gentle hearted apostle who experiences salvation in his life and wanted others to experience Jesus manifesting in their lives. He wanted to see His Kingdom come into the Earth and he shows it in his life. He brought the Gospel to the north, to Edessa (Mesopotamia, around Turkey). There was a record that he healed Agbar the king of Edessa. His traditional apostolic symbol was a club, because it was said that he was clubbed to death for his faith, following the Lord faithfully until the end.

Thus we know the eleven faithful apostles, who are very ordinary in their life accounts, but resemble our lives more than any others. God wanted to use them to fulfill His goals, and he transformed their lives. God can do the same to you and me.

Three ordinary men, with an extra-ordinary God transforming their lives.

The twelve: Matthew and Thomas

It took me some time to post this one, had a busy week. But now that I got a time to spare, let’s continue on the next two guys: the tax collector and the skeptic believer. Well, he’s not that skeptic actually, but his one mistake overshadows his trait. We will see it in a more detailed manner soon. Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the last two of the second group of four: Matthew a.k.a. Levi and Thomas a.k.a. Didymus.

Matthew, the tax collector

None of the twelve was more notorious sinner than Matthew. He was also known by Levi, son of Alpheus. As we know, he is the author of the first Gospel. We might expect to be able to know a lot of who he is from his writing; however as things turns out, it wasn’t the case. He was humble, low-profile guy who only mentioned about himself twice in his writing.

As mention earlier, Matthew was a notorious sinner. He was a tax collector – a publican – when he received his call. That is the last credential that we might expect to see from a man who would become an apostle of Christ. At that time, tax collectors were the most despicable being in Israel. They were hated, isolated and deemed lower than anyone else. Publicans bought the tax-collecting franchise from the Roman oppressors, extorted money from their own kin to fed the Romans and fill their own pocket, most of the time with violence. Most were despicable, vile and unprincipled scoundrels.

It was said that those who worked as a publicans are so despised by their own kin to the extent of exile from the access into synagogue. Their only friends would be another tax collector, the lowly people of the nation, thugs and thief, prostitute and bandits. Matthew is one of them. Imagine being isolated, despised by your closest friend, without any opportunity or hope to set things right. Well, that is what Matthew felt.

The time when he was called, he was sitting at the tax office. Jesus said to him, “Follow me”. So he rose and followed Him. The interval between the call and the answer was not long. It was more like done in an instant. He abandoned his work that he obtained with hardships and scorned the profits he could make to follow a carpenter son from a lowly town such as Nazareth. How could this be?

Imagine yourself as Matthew. When you are the outcast of the community, lowest of all, scorned by others and denied from God’s word, an endless pit of emptiness will be form inside your heart. The outcome from this will be on two extremes: if one doesn’t care about it any longer, than he will go on with his way of life and do the worst they can do, or, if their thirst of God and forgiveness are very high, they will scorn themselves and hope for that salvation. Matthew seems to be the latter, and that salvation came from the miracle worker, the teacher, the Son of Man himself, who called him personally to come follow him. That’s why he answered without hesitation. His soul was tortured.

And it doesn’t end there. So great was his joy that he took an irreversible action, he didn’t keep that blessing to himself. He invited his other friends to a party, introduced them to Christ. That was the extent of Matthew’s joy of receiving a new life. Are we living our renewed life with a joy like his?

Thomas, the faithful pessimist

When we talk about Thomas we will always remember his doubt against the resurrection of Christ. His mistake overshadowed his good traits and sadly it was the only thing we remember out of him. It is a little bit unfair to the lad to be remembered as “Doubting Thomas” while the other apostles are exactly like him. He was not there when Jesus appeared to the ten, and that is why he can’t believe. I mean, we are talking about a resurrected person here; how can someone believe such outrageous claims easily? The other apostle was exactly like him when they haven’t seen Jesus with their own eyes! The title “Doubting Thomas” was inappropriate for him.

Thomas was also known as “Didymus” which means “The Twin”. It appears that he has a twin brother or sister, but his twin brother/sister is not mentioned anywhere in the Bible. Like Nathanael, he is only mentioned three times in the first three gospels, which is when they listed the twelve names. The Gospel of John however, provided additional information about him. He was portrayed as a pessimist, seeing the negative side out of everything. However, great character is spotted in the midst of this pessimistic view of the world.

The first account of Thomas in John’s Gospel was in the time when Jesus is going to resurrect Lazarus. Jesus was in the middle of rising tensions with the Pharisees and the Scribes. They wanted to kill him. So he went to the place where John the Baptist do his ministry few years before and preached there. It happened that Lazarus was sick; Mary and Martha sent people to Jesus to ask him to cure Lazarus. Now, Lazarus stayed in Bethany and it was very close to Jerusalem, where the Pharisees and the Scribes are very powerful. The odds that Jesus will be captured and killed are very high. It would be virtually a suicide if he went to Bethany. Imagine Osama bin Laden sight going to the Washington D.C. to take a tour at the White House. It was that serious.

The disciple would be relieved when he waited until Lazarus died (so that God will be exalted higher). But when Lazarus died and he decided to go there, the disciple was in disarray. They ask him to stop and refrain from going there. They are afraid of the consequences they would have to bear if Jesus was captured because of going to Bethany. Jesus stood firm and teach them their lessons: The Son of Man must go there and perform God’s work. It was at this time that Thomas went forward and said: “Let us also go, that we may die with Him”.

It was such a pessimistic remark. It was so Thomas. But it wasn’t just a normal pessimistic remark. It was a heroic pessimism. He could see nothing but disaster ahead. He was convinced that Jesus is going straight into stoning. But if that is what the Lord is determined to do, he is willing to go with Him and die with Him. You have to admire that courage. He was loyal and devoted to Christ. And this remark was followed by his fellow disciple, they decided to follow Thomas’ lead, they went with Jesus to Bethany.

Another account of Thomas happened in the upper room at the last Supper. It was right before Philip question that we discussed previously. Jesus are telling them about His imminent departure, “I go to prepare a place for you” and “Where I go you know, and the way you know”. Thomas spoke afterwards, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, and how can we know the way?” It was like saying, I want to go with you, but we don’t really know where to. It would be much better if we die together with you so that we can go together. Again, it shows how big his love to Jesus and how loyal Thomas is to the Lord.

The final account was about his doubt. I don’t need to tell you this story. You know it very well. But remember that he was not there, and he was a pessimist. He loved Jesus so much and it would be normal if he is shattered by Jesus’ death. A person in that kind of condition will be hard to believe such an outrageous claim. That was the time when he said that unless he saw the hole in Jesus’ hands and put his fingers there he will not believe.

Now, Jesus did appear to him again later on. He didn’t need to ask Thomas what he wanted to do. He told Thomas directly to do what he wanted to do. And that was the time when the greatest statement made by the twelve came out: “My Lord and my God!”

Let those who doubted the deity of Christ meet Thomas.

Two transformed men

It was interesting to see how God use a publican and a pessimist to tell the world about His good news. Both of them were transformed by their knowledge of Christ. He can use anyone. Be it personality, background, and status, all are immaterial. The eleven (except Judas) had something in common: willingness to confess their sins and look to Christ for grace. He met them with grace and forgiveness, transforming them into a new person and enables them to do His work.

There are few credible accounts of Matthew outside the bible. But it was believed that he ministered both Jews and abroad until he was martyred. Thomas brought the Gospel as far as India, and tradition said that he was martyred there, thrust by spears – a fitting form of martyrdom for someone whose faith came when he saw Jesus’ spear mark.

Two ordinary men, with an extra-ordinary God transforming their life.

The twelve: Philip and Nathanael

We have discussed about the four of Jesus’ closest disciple before. The next two posts will be discussing about the next group of four of the twelve disciples. Interestingly, these four men are always named after the first four. This post will discuss about Philip and Nathanael, also known as Bartholomew. The source pointing to them inside the bible is very limited. These few sources, however, can actually infer much information about their personalities.

Philip: the master of impossible

Do not mix Philip the apostle with Philip of the seven deacons. Philip is always listed fifth out of the twelve. His name comes from the Greek language, but he was a Jew. It was common at that time in Judah to have a Greek name, but interestingly, his Jewish name was never mentioned. He was always known as Philip, meaning that his life is very closely related with the Greek speaking Jews.

The accounts of Philip came mostly from John’s Gospel. He came from Bethsaida, the same city where Peter, Andrew, James and John came from. He might also come from the same synagogue, and there is some convincing evidence that he, Nathanael and Thomas were fishermen as well. His call happened the day after Peter met Jesus. Interestingly, while the first four found Jesus when they were called to be His disciple, Philip didn’t. Jesus found him on the way, and He called him, saying, “Follow me”. And he did.

This is something that is very remarkable. Philip is the first disciple to be told to follow Jesus, and he obeyed His calling right away. While we might see that it was Jesus who found Philip, for him, it meant that he found Jesus. Similar to Andrew, he directly came to tell his friend, Nathanael about Jesus. When Nathanael was unsure about Jesus, he only said to his friend to “come and see”. Why? Philip did the same and he can see that Jesus is the Messiah directly.

While this account of Philip was remarkable, it was the only time (recorded) that his remarkable faith works. In the other accounts, he showed his lack of faith, and his pessimistic mindset gets the better of him. The first account was when Jesus fed five thousand men. Jesus asked him how to gave food to the five thousand (that is the man only, without counting the wife and the children they bring) food to test Philip. His answer was: “Eight months wage would not be sufficient to feed them a bite of bread”. The Greek version stated it as 200 denarii’s. One denarius is the wage for a day’s work. Apparently, 200 denarii’s is what they have that time. He did a quick calculation and he found it lacking.

It turns out that Philip was in charge of the logistics of the group (well, we know that Judas is the treasurer, so we can safely assume that someone must be in charge of the logistics as well, and he was the most probable out of the twelve). Philip has been traveling with Jesus so far, and he has seen His miracles. It would be logical if he knew that Jesus had the power to feed them, but the first thing that came to his mind was “It is impossible!” Friends, meet Philip, the master of the impossible.

The other account of him we found is when the Gentiles ask him to introduce them to Jesus. As we have discussed before when we talked about Andrew, he hesitates. He is not sure that Jesus will want to see them; he is a follow-the-rule, by-the-book, uptight and pessimistic type of person, so it would be natural for him to feel unsure when all the time he only knows that Jesus only minister among the Jews. It is ironic to see that someone who is so faithful at the start would turn out this way. Well, at least he asked Andrew.

The last account of him was in the Last Supper. In this room of the Last Supper, many of the disciple’s foolish remarks are being made. But Philip’s remark was arguably the most disappointing of all. After Jesus said the famous quote: “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. If ye had known me, ye should have known my Father also: and from henceforth ye know him, and have seen him” to answer Thomas, Philip asked Jesus this question: “Lord, show us the Father, and it suffice us.”

“Show us the Father??”

Duh. Jesus just said about it before. Philip was with Jesus for such a long time, witnessing his power and his ministry. If He really knew Jesus, he would have known the Father. He shows great faith in the start, yet he did not really open his eyes all those time. Where was he all that time?

Nathanael: the true Jew

In the list of the twelve, Nathanael’s name was always mentioned as Bartholomew. Nathanael means “God has given” while Bartholomew was his surname, which means “the son of Tolmai”, hence his full name would be Nathanael Bar-Tolmai. Outside of the listing of the twelve disciples, Nathanael’s name is mentioned only twice: when he was called, and when he went fishing after Jesus’ resurrection. He was close to Philip, and he came from Cana, where Jesus performed his first miracle. Virtually all we knew about him came from the story of his calling.

Well, the first fact about him is that he loves the Scripture. When Philip told him about Jesus, Philip said to him that he has “found Him of whom Moses in the law and the prophets wrote” (It implies the same to Philip’s love for the Scripture). Philip did not tell Nathanael that he met a wonderful man who can change his life, or brings better to his life or whatsoever. Philip told Nathanael that Jesus is the truth. Now, Philip obviously knew Nathanael well to be able to talk like this. This implies that Philip knew that Nathanael is a seeker of truth.

The second trait was not as good as the first one. When Philip told him that Jesus the son of Joseph from Nazareth is the Messiah he told Philip: “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” As a lover of Scripture, it will be logical if he questions Jesus identity as the Messiah with a statement like “But Micah said that the Messiah comes from Bethlehem” or “Messiah will rule over Jerusalem so he would have to be closely related to Jerusalem as well”. But he didn’t use them, instead he told Philip: “Can anything good come from Nazareth?” Now that was not a rational or biblical objection. It was based on emotion and bigotry.

Nazareth, as it turns out, was a small town near Cana. It was a notorious town such that even the Galileans are looking down to them, while Galileans are being looked down by the Jewish community. In other words, it was the worst out of the worst. Cana on the other hand was a town even smaller than Nazareth. As archeology discovers, they found that Nazareth was at least a crossroad town, while Cana was a remote place. If you go to Jerusalem from Lebanon you will pass through Nazareth, but Cana was not passed by anything! Cana was in all sense a remote place no one even care to pass through. Interestingly, Nazareth was being looked down by a town that is smaller and more remote than Nazareth! It reveals what kind of contempt Nathanael has for this city and its people. This is the second personality of Nathanael we found: prejudice.

Fortunately, his prejudice was short-lived, as it was not as strong as his seeking heart. Philip knew who Nathanael was, and he was convinced that Nathanael will change his mind if he met Jesus. The words that came out of Jesus were a powerful commendation: “Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom is no deceit!” Can you imagine a more wonderful thing than to have this kind of approval from Jesus, at the very start? The word ‘an Israelite indeed’ was written as alethos, meaning ‘truly, genuinely’. It does not simply talking about his genetics, but about his heart which have no deceit and hypocrisy, unlike the other Jews of that day. He is a Jew both inwardly and outwardly.

The most important of his characteristics, however, is his eager faith. He asked Jesus: “How do You know me?” He never knew Jesus before, yet Jesus can say such a thing about him. Jesus answered him: “I saw you under the fig tree. I knew what you were doing.” Nathanael was a man who constantly looks for truth. He loves the Scripture, and he is knowledgeable about it. Jews at that time used to read Scripture and do their reflections and meditations outside of their house, and a fig tree (which is common in Israel area) is a nice spot to do it. Jesus knew where he did his routine, and he knew his heart. Just by knowing this, Nathanael said to Jesus: “You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!” He knew who Jesus is from the start. What Philip didn’t get until the end, he knew it from the beginning. Nathanael follows Jesus faithfully ever since.

The two buddies: the pessimist and the man of prejudice

As we have seen with any other disciples, both Philip and Nathanael were not an exception to sin and negative habit. While Nathanael may seem to be a better guy than most disciple we have discussed so far, we should not forget that all of the disciples argues about who is the greatest among them, and Jesus label them as “foolish and slow of heart to believe”.

We might be able to identify our lack of faith like what Philip shown. We might have identified our foolishness in Philip’s remark on the Last Supper, or his pessimistic view on things. We might also see ourselves in Nathanael’s prejudice to someone that we hate so much that we actually can’t see that we were worse than that person. Those are our imperfections, and we can find them in our life.

But it was also a fact that Jesus would want to choose and use them to spread His Gospel. He chooses these imperfect men, foolish and slow to understand bunch of guys who came from a lowly area of Israel, rather than the scribes and the teacher of laws of Jerusalem. But for such an imperfect men, God’s glory is made known, as what Paul wrote on his epistle: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

We don’t really know how the two of them died, but every account of their life mentioned that they preached the Gospel faithfully and became effective tools of God. They are often mentioned together, showing that they were really close. Some accounts told us that Philip was crucified as well, while others said that he was stoned to death. Philip was one of the first to be martyred, as it was said that his death came only eight years after James, while there was no record on the death of Nathanael.

Two ordinary men used greatly by the extra-ordinary God.

The twelve: John

The last guy in the inner circle is John, the son of Zebedee, the Boanerges, writer of the Gospel of John, the three epistles and the Revelations. In fact, due to the number of writings that is attributed to him we can learn a great deal about him. He is, one of the few well known apostles (beside Peter and, of course, Judas Iscariot). He was the only apostle that is not martyred, lived is life until his old age. His influence over the early church was monumental.

The second thunder

As discussed in the previous notes, John is very similar in personality compared to his brothers. He is the second Boanerges, sons of thunder. But now, we might also know him as the apostle of love. Try to remember the drawings of him that we have seen in the Sunday school or other places. Usually we will see a polite looking, soft, meek, mild, lying on Jesus shoulders kind of gentlemen. Well, remove that picture out of your head. It was very misleading. John was exactly like his brother James. He is as rugged and hard-edged, intolerant, ambitious, zealous and explosive as his brother was. If you see in the Gospel you can see that he is aggressive, self assertive and intolerant. He is after all, a Boanerges.

There was a time where he mentioned to Jesus that he had rebuked a man for casting a demon in Jesus’ name when he wasn’t a part of the disciples. He was sectarian, narrow-minded and exercising uncontrolled ambition to take all the glory for himself. He was also involved in the event where the Boanerges want to burn the Samaritans, and when the Boanerges asked to be seated beside the Lord in selfish desire.

His world is about black and white. There are no grey shades in his minds. He is that zealous towards the Scripture and the truth that it is almost suffocating. There were numerous phrases in his writings which show this personality like when he said that “we cannot sin” or “we are either of God or of the world”. There were other times where we read him say “if we love, we are born of God, if we don’t love, we are not born of God”. He is that black and white. He made the word said by Paul sound soft. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t understand about human nature though – he understands it exactly. In fact, we can see it from the way he writes his epistles: warm, soothing, pastoral style. He regarded truth very highly, but at the same time he regarded love very highly as well. And a person, who really understands love, does not sacrifice truth for love.

It is fair to say that this kind of person have a dangerous tendency to push everything into the extremes. And we can see it actually that in his younger days, John was a bit of an extremist. His zeal, sectarianism and intolerance were all sins of imbalance. His greatest strength became the cause of his prominent failures; his best characteristic became the pitfall for him, just like the case with Peter and James. There are nothing wrong with his virtues, it’s just that it is unbalanced, and an unbalanced person lead himself to a serious error.

Love and Truth, Ambition and Humility, Suffering and Glory

John was committed to truth since his younger days. He was following John the Baptist when he met Jesus alongside Andrew. He followed Jesus because he knew he is the truth. He was not only committed to truth, he loves it. Forty-five times the word truth was mentioned in all his writings, what he said about truth exceeds every other Scripture writers. That, however, is still unbalanced.

We go to the story of Jesus’ transfiguration. To cut the story short (believe me, I tried to make the notes shorter, but it isn’t easy), the three closest disciple (Peter, James and John) was brought to witness the full glory of Christ (with Peter as usual talked what he had in mind without thinking seriously in the process). This in turn triggers the usual debate – which is the debate about who is the greatest among them. As usual Jesus rebuked them. He said to them “What was it you disputed among yourselves?”

Jesus doesn’t ask this question because he needed the information. He knew exactly what it was. He wanted confession; He didn’t get any since they were embarrassed. Jesus sat down, and told them something we are very familiar of today. “If anyone desires to be the first, he shall be the last of all and servant of all”, “Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me”. It was a lesson about love, and it apparently cut into John’s heart, which let him confess about the incident of casting out of demon I mentioned earlier. He learned about love from this point. And we can see it in his writings, more than 80 times he mentioned about love. He realized that truth without love became brutality. As love without truth became hypocrisy.

He also learned about humility, reflecting this message to his ambitious self. He was able to balance his ambition with humility, as reflected in the humility he shows in his writings, most notably his Gospel account where he refuses to speak of himself in reference to himself. And as what he had said to Jesus when he told him that he is able to drink the cup of suffering, he too experienced that suffering, in balance to the glory that he will receive.

All reliable historical sources points out that he became the pastor of the church in Ephesus (founded by Paul), and was subsequently exiled to Patmos. There, he lived in a cave. Imagine him as an aged man had to endure sleeping on a rock pillow, cut off from those he loved and treated with cruelty. He outlived the other apostles, and in a way, he bears a different kind of suffering. However, he still bears it willingly, as is reflected in what he writes in the Revelations. He learned all those lessons, apply it to his life, and teach them to others.

He reflects us in our youthful nature, unbalanced, ambitious, idealist, intolerant. However, he is a living evident that God changes our sinful nature and use them for His glory. John died around 98 A.D. during the reign of Emperor Trajan. Jerome says in his commentary on Galatians that he was so frail such that he had to be carried into the church. However, one message was always present in his lips: “My little children love one another.” Asked why he always said this he replied, “It is the Lord’s command, and if this alone be done, it is enough.” The son of thunder has become the apostle of love.

Another ordinary man with an extra-ordinary God, and an uncommon calling.

The twelve: Andrew and James

Previously, we discussed about Peter. This note will discuss on two of the ordinary twelve, members of the four privileged men to be counted as those who are closest to Jesus. Two (seemingly) good friends, heroes of faith but at the same time, flawed persons and sinners. Meet Andrew and James the apostles.

The first time we met Andrew was when he and his friend John was following John the Baptist. And then John the Baptist points them to Jesus, saying, “Behold the Lamb of God!” They came to Jesus and stayed with Him that day. Convinced that he is the Messiah that they are waiting for they told their experiences to each of their older brother, Peter and James, making the four of them the first disciples of Jesus.

To talk about Andrew and James in the same note is like talking about two totally different persons, as we will see later on. In fact, Andrew was so different compared to the rest of the four. The four apostles are the inner group of the twelve that are closest to Jesus. Whenever the twelve are listed, the four of them are always mentioned first. In a sense it underlines their leadership among the twelve. Interestingly, Andrew was the least prominent out of the four, and he is only mentioned merely nine times in the Bible. James on the other hand, was the only apostle whose life from when he started to become a disciple unto death is recorded in the Bible.

Andrew, the unknown ordinary, apostle of small things

As I said before, it seems that the four has a collective leadership among the disciples of Jesus. In terms of personality they are very unique. As we see previously, Peter was a brash, undependable, inconsistent, speak-before-thinking type of person. James and John are similar to each other; they are ambitious, temperamental, intolerant, explosive but zealous persons, thus earning them the nickname “Boanerges” or “the sons of thunder”. Andrew on the other hand seems the exactly opposite way. He is comfortable with his a supporting role, letting the others takes the lead, staying in the background most of the time.

Don’t take it in a wrong way, it doesn’t mean that he didn’t want to lead, or that he is weak, wimpish or feeble. Do take in mind that he is also a fisherman, just like the other three, a job that needs physical strength and machismo. He is bold, decisive and deliberate. Most likely, he also participated in the debate on who is the greatest of the twelve. Interestingly, we rarely see him speak in the Scripture. But when he does, he always says the right thing. It doesn’t mean that he’s never wrong though, in fact, we can see Jesus rebuking the twelve often in the Scripture – meaning that Andrew was also being rebuked.

There are two interesting points that I saw in Andrew’s life. The first point is that he is okay with being in the shadow of others. Why? Consider these two points: (1) Andrew was Peter’s brother and (2) Andrew was the one who told Peter about Jesus. Andrew must have known Peter’s personality, and he must have known his tendency to take the leading role in a group. Thus, if Peter is to join him as Christ’s disciple, he will surely not be able to take leadership. But he told Peter anyway!

The second interesting trait of Andrew was the most important though: his passion to introduce Christ to others. He is too passionate to tell the story of the Messiah to Peter such that he didn’t think about taking leadership role. He introduced the Gentiles to Jesus when they say that they want to meet him. Originally, the Gentiles were asking Philip to do it, but he isn’t sure what to do and talked to Andrew (thus undermining Andrew’s leadership as well). Andrew on the other hand knew exactly what the Lord will want and brought them to Christ. In a sense, he is both the first domestic and foreign missionary. Cool.

He is not the type of evangelist who talked to crowds and wins them, like what Peter did. He is the type of evangelist who talked person to person. But he made great impact. Think it this way: if Andrew didn’t introduce Peter to Jesus, the scene where Peter preached and multitudes believed will not happen. And actually, this kind of personal evangelism was the one that is closer to our lives! The unknown ordinary has become the perfect model for us.

James, the first of the two thunders

James comes from a very prominent family. The fact that James and John were called “Son of Zebedee” tells us that Zebedee was a very famous guy. When James and John left their vocation as fisherman, it was mentioned that they left all their workers behind. Their business was so big that they have other people working for them. If Peter and Andrew were fishermen, then Zebedee is the Kingpin of fishermen. They even have connection with the High Priest of that time. Yet, they left everything behind to follow Jesus.

When we talk about James, it will be hard to not talk about John. True, we will not discuss John here, but James was always mentioned together with John. The only time when he is mentioned alone is when he was put to death by Herod. He is a very prominent guy, strong background, and packed with ambitions. He might just be the second in command of the disciples. But when we examine the scripture we can see that his weakness takes the better of him most of the time.

There was time when he and his brother asked Jesus to give them power to call fire so that they can burn the Samaritans who denied Jesus like Elijah did. Jesus softly rebukes them, telling them that He came not to bring destruction, but to bring salvation. Samaritans and Jews are not the best homeys in every kind of definition. Being a devout and zealous person, James most likely despises the Samaritans, thus he can get easily provoked by them, on top of his fiery personality that is thunderous. Lesson one: be patient, and know what God’s purpose is.

There was another time when he (and again with his brother) asked Jesus to be put in His left and right side when He will reigns. Actually, it wasn’t them who asked, it was their mother. But judging from the fact that after Jesus heard their mother request he directly asked them “are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink and baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” means that most likely it was them who told their mother to tell Jesus. Ambitious and arrogant, that is who the Boanerges are.

Wicked as it is, the story doesn’t end there. Overshadowed by their desire for greatness, they told Jesus that they are able to do all that without even realizing what that means! Again, Jesus rebukes them for what they did, but the effect of what they did was disastrous enough to ignite the debate of who is the greatest among them. Lesson number two: tone down ambitions, don’t be arrogant, and find what God wants us to do.

The unknown and the thunder

Being zealous and passionate is not necessarily a bad thing however. At least they are angry because they knew that their Lord was being treated with an unrighteous way. Their response was righteous; it was their request that is unrighteous. Wanting to do the best is also not a bad thing, and they certainly shows that they are doing what they do passionately. Their desire to be glorified more than others was what wrong with them. It is in a way, a kind of double edged sword. If I were to choose between a people who is passionate but with a risk of making mistakes with a passive person, I will choose the former.

Andrew on the other hand is unique. His love for Christ and his passion to introduce Christ to others was unequaled. This kind of personality is what the world needs. We need to be Andrews, who loves God more than ourselves. He knows what exactly Jesus wants with him and he did just what Jesus wanted.

James was the first to be martyred. His influence to the believer at that time was to the extent that when Herod wanted to gain the favor of the Jews, he chose to execute James first. He drank that cup of suffering indeed in the end. History records tells us that the one who led him to his execution was moved when he saw James, and confessed that he was also a Christian. This made him led away to the execution as well, asking forgiveness from James in the way. James forgive him and said to him, “Peace be with thee”. Both of them are beheaded at the same time. He learned how to be patient, and how to forgive.

Tradition held that Andrew took the Gospel north, which is why he is held as the saint patron of Russia. He ultimately was crucified in Achaia (Greece), when he preached the Gospel to the governor’s wife. She converted and incited the governor’s rage. He commanded Andrew to be crucified in am X-shaped cross, not nailed but tied to prolong his suffering. They said he was hung for two days, but on that cross he remained passionate to others, telling them about Jesus up to the very end. We need to thank God for people like Andrew.

Ordinary men, with an extra-ordinary God.

The twelve: Peter

They were unknowns. No credentials no stand-out talents, no royal bloodlines, nothing. They are fishermen, tax collector, a political outcast, a skeptic, and a corrupt traitor. They are humans, weak, poor, despised, flawed, sinful – common in every way, ordinary in every definition.

Yet they are chosen. Yet they are used by Him. Yet their works was so fruitful. True, one of them fails, but the rest were heroes of faith. They went scattered in every corner of the earth, preaching, doing miracles, comforting others, bringing the gospel, prosecuted, crucified in upright position, crucified in head down, beheaded, stabbed by spears, boiled and exiled. They were sinners; traitor to their own kin, fanatic, one of them is even a terrorist. They were boastful, arrogant, yet they are slow to understand and clueless at times. They are ”aggramatoi idiotai” as Luke referred them, or literally, illiterate ignorant. But they were exalted and remembered as heroes of faith.

They are twelve ordinary men, just like us. But they have an extra-ordinary teacher. The Lord Himself is their teacher. Around eighteen months He was with them. Shaped them for greatness, prepares them for what they will be doing after He go back to the Father, teaches them about the truth, shows them miracles, gave them Spirit, rebukes them, love them. And that is how the ordinary men, becomes extra-ordinary tools of the Lord. They are still ordinary human, not a superhuman - do not dehumanize them – they are just like us. But that is exactly why we need to know them, and how God can shape our lives.

They are the twelve apostles: Simon (a.k.a. Peter, Cephas), Andrew, James, John, Philip, Nathanael (a.k.a. Bartholomew), Thomas, Matthew (a.k.a. Levi), another James, Thaddeus (a.k.a. Lebbaeus, Judas), Simon, and Judas Iscariot. The twelve chosen by the Nazarene, with a call that changed their lives, in a way they never imagine, forever.

The first of the twelve is Simon, nicknamed Rock. The Rock (did you smeeeellll..). It is interesting to see that he was given this kind of nickname. You see, he was not a dependable guy. He was brash, vacillating, and undependable. He made great promises that he couldn’t follow, and yet he was the Rock. It is almost like calling a skinny, weak guy “Bulldog” (or calling me “the skinny guy”). He will become a rock later on, but he was not the rock that you can depend on when he got that nickname. And yet, he was ‘the first’, not in the sense of his glory, but in the sense of leadership.

All things being said and done, it is a fact that he has the raw material of a leader. He is inquisitive, possessing initiative, and he has the desire to be involved. He can be seen asking numerous questions. He is always brave and in front of his peers in terms of expressing his minds. Raw talent it is, but it was unrefined. While he has the potential to be a good leader, he also has all the potential to go haywire. He let his mouth get better of himself numerous times. You can hear Jesus commending him at one time, but rebuking him in just moment later. He even has the bravery to scold his teacher! He is in every sense a Sanguine-Choleric type of guy.

But we saw how the time he spent with Jesus changed his life and character. He learned to be humble when he saw his teacher, whom he knows is the Christ, humbled Himself to wash his feet, and even died on the cross. He learned how to do self-restraint (something the most leader will always struggle) when he deny him three times (with curses as a bonus package), while just hours before he said that he will never do that. He learned courage, not the kind of courage he shows when he cut the priest assistant’s ear, but the courage to testify and preach the gospel. The Lord teaches him through the life experience and the example He gave to Peter.

We can read in some verses that Jesus call him by ‘Simon’ while in other times He called him ‘Peter’. Interestingly, Jesus calls him ‘Simon’ whenever he was not being ‘the Rock’ he meant to be. In a way, it was a gentle rebuke for him. I can imagine Peter pleading in his heart: “Please.. Please.. Call me Peter.. Don’t call me Simon..” when he was being rebuked by Jesus. However, it was this reminder that Jesus gave to him that mold him to become “Simon the Peter”, not “Simon who is sometimes Peter”, or “Simon who most of the time Peter” (or even “Simon who everyone hope to be Peter at least once in a while”).

Did you see how similarly striking Peter to ourselves sometimes? Did you reflect on yourselves when you read about the mistakes Peter did throughout his life? Are you facing the same problems right now in your spiritual life?

If yes, then know this: God is capable of changing Simon into Peter in a considerably short time, He also can change us. As I said before, the twelve are ordinary people with an extra-ordinary God. Invite Him into your heart, let Him shape you and always obey Him when He rebukes you. He will not devoid us from temptations and ordeals. At times He let us go through those temptations, tests and ordeals in our lives, just like Peter did. But He is with us, and praying for us so that we may not lose our faith, just like He did to Peter.

How did Peter life’s end? Jesus told him that he will be a martyr, but the Bible never told us how exactly. But Eusebius recorded the testimony of Clement who witness how he died: He was forced to witness his wife crucified before him. As he watched her being led to death he called her by her name and said: “Remember the Lord”. And as he was going to take his turn, he asked to be crucified head down because he felt unworthy of being crucified in the same way as the Lord.

He was a brash, proud, and undependable guy before; a dependable, humble, compassionate, faithful leader after. He is Simon the Peter, fishermen from Galilee. Ordinary people like you and me, with an extra-ordinary God beside him.