Old and New

2011 Has not been kind to me.

Not that previous years has been a totally nice, but the last one was such an ordeal. Well, I guess it was partly due to the fact that it is "last year".

Old struggles and new struggles come and goes. Some was thankfully resolved, but much are left unsolved. The oldest of all even went untouched, 2-and-a-half-year and counting. Another thing that has been eating away in my heart underwent a leap of faith, and i guess it went miserably bad. I was lonely, I was getting lazy. My ministry was in much lesser quality than what I expect them to be, while my work has been under par. I keep falling to the classic dung hole of mine, and the roller coaster swing of my quiet time was at its peak amplitude. I am grieved.

But somehow I'm still thankful. I don't really know why.

I guess it came from my faith, that God sees me as His precious son, detestable and wretched as I am (He knows and I knows how I am not worthy of all that He has given to me). And these kind of troubling events in my life was His way of disciplining me. And through that, I feel that He cares for me and wants the best out of me.

So I shall try to rise again. Maybe I will fail again, but I pray I will fail better. I guess I have to be thankful that I can still be thankful in the midst of it all.

Pray for me friends, that I may be able to do all my utmost in this year (Oh and how I am haunted by the looming shadows of my QE).

As for this blog, I'm trying to revive it again -- fingers crossed though. I will try to update it as much as I can.

Let there be light.