Let there be light!

On Matthew 17:24-26

2012-01-19T01:31:00.001+08:00

Tax for two at two drachma each,
From the sea a shekel granted
Ask, o man for He is not out of reach.
Hence trust, your needs fulfilled.

Which one am I?

2012-01-14T01:52:00.002+08:00

"It is one thing for a minister to be used by God. It is another for a minister to be pleasing in the sight of God." - Paul Gunadi

Quoted by Chandra Wim today in ISCF fellowship. Truly something that bug my mind in reflections for tonight. Truly, which one am I?

Fear can hold you prisoner

2012-01-12T23:01:00.005+08:00

Just watched the movie tonight. How the hell did I miss watching this one? This was superbly done! For you who didn't know, it's a movie back from 1994. So I kinda missed watching this over 17 years, nearly impossible with a HBO in my home since the '98. If you haven't watched it, I'm telling you: go and watch it, you must.

Boasting in our weakness

2012-01-12T01:58:00.003+08:00

An interesting video. I bet it raises some eyebrows. I would agree to the spirit of it, but agree with it using all caution I have, for as it convey good message, it can also be translated differently. I do hope that the church can really act like God's people with integrity though, albeit continuously struggling to do so. I do hope that we may hate sins like cancer, and throw it out away as far as possible.

But more importantly, I hope that Christians can get over the differences that they have among each others, cooperate in harmony, and work together for God's glory.

Never alone

2012-01-11T18:02:00.001+08:00

Awesome comment is awesome

2012-01-09T14:55:00.002+08:00

"'Harry Potter' is not 'Twilight', you know; we're not selling sex."

- Emma Watson commenting on Twilight

Ms. Watson, you just got yourself a new fan.

The Tattoo

2012-01-09T01:28:00.004+08:00

Watched the movie last night. Unexpectedly long and unexpectedly plenty of adult scene. But it was unexpectedly good as well. It's entertaining :)

Rendang

2012-01-04T15:40:00.006+08:00

Last week I got too lazy to work and stayed home with Irving the whole week. Well, mostly. Thing is, I don't have any spirit to play games or read as well somehow. So I got this crazy idea of cooking rendang after I saw the rendang that Irving's gf brought from Jakarta the day before. It was surprisingly easy to make -- albeit a little slow. I used the recipe from this particular site.

It was quite good IMHO :). Should have put more chilli though. Haha. And since I didn't want to deviate from the original recipe, i used 1 kg of beef. It took me around 3 days to finish this dish for 2-3 meals a day. Haha. Total cost: ~30 SGD (for 3 days? okay lah hor..)

Now, enough blogging. Back to confirmation report writing!

God give me strength to finish this one in time... Pretty please?

I used to work hard everyday...

2012-01-03T22:10:00.002+08:00

...but I took an arrow to the knee.

Skyrimian joke aside. That was what I felt after I work professionally last time. It was only for a year but somehow it shifted my paradigm on dilligent-ness. I used to spend at least 2-3 hours of independent study/work in my undergrad. Now I think I cut my official work hours as much as I can. Shame on me. Shame on me.

Or maybe that's just me being lazy.

...

or may be it's truly an arrow took my knee.

Second Day

2012-01-02T22:37:00.002+08:00

I spent the second day of 2012 in my sweet spot: home. Well, it's still a holiday and I got nothing better to do since 11 am, so I stayed. Nonetheless, since I started writing again, I began to revisit some pages that I haven't came into for a while. Two particular posts took my attention and made me think for a while about us: our greed, our self-justification when we think we have done something yet nothing in actuality, and our sense of justice.

If you have some free time i would love to recommend you these two interesting resources:

The first one is an article from Vinoth, which I have been very glad to read as always, titled Micro-Credit Hype
The second one is a two-hours documentary (narrated by Matt Damon. woot.) titled Inside Job.

I wouldn't spell what I am musing about after these two particular resources though. Haha.

Thankful

2012-01-02T00:52:00.003+08:00

No matter how low the quality of it, i'm still thankful for putting this one through

Old and New

2012-01-01T19:13:00.002+08:00

2011 Has not been kind to me.

Not that previous years has been a totally nice, but the last one was such an ordeal. Well, I guess it was partly due to the fact that it is "last year".

Old struggles and new struggles come and goes. Some was thankfully resolved, but much are left unsolved. The oldest of all even went untouched, 2-and-a-half-year and counting. Another thing that has been eating away in my heart underwent a leap of faith, and i guess it went miserably bad. I was lonely, I was getting lazy. My ministry was in much lesser quality than what I expect them to be, while my work has been under par. I keep falling to the classic dung hole of mine, and the roller coaster swing of my quiet time was at its peak amplitude. I am grieved.

But somehow I'm still thankful. I don't really know why.

I guess it came from my faith, that God sees me as His precious son, detestable and wretched as I am (He knows and I knows how I am not worthy of all that He has given to me). And these kind of troubling events in my life was His way of disciplining me. And through that, I feel that He cares for me and wants the best out of me.

So I shall try to rise again. Maybe I will fail again, but I pray I will fail better. I guess I have to be thankful that I can still be thankful in the midst of it all.

Pray for me friends, that I may be able to do all my utmost in this year (Oh and how I am haunted by the looming shadows of my QE).

As for this blog, I'm trying to revive it again -- fingers crossed though. I will try to update it as much as I can.

Let there be light.

I honestly never imagined seeing this before

2011-07-09T12:26:00.002+08:00

God Provides

2011-06-13T21:24:00.004+08:00

For you who shares with me in the previous month since my exam period, i think you already know what I am kanchiong with. Basically, my NPGS demands me to produce 4.00 minimum CGPA every semester, however, the result from my 1st semester was 4.16. which is one mark shy from that minimum CGPA. So I was really stressed out the whole semester, which peaked on the last week before exams (see my things to do around march-may, you'll know why). After the exams, I was not confident at all with my performance. And so I began to be uneasy.

It might sounds a bit over-the-top. mathematically, I just need to produce 2 B+ and 1 B, and I'm still (marginally) safe. I mean, how hard was that? But yet I can't get it out of my mind. I think I have asked A LOT of ppl to pray for me for two things: (1) for me to be able to calm myself down and (2) for the result itself to be enough for passing the minimum requirements.

The result for the undergrads came out a few days earlier than the result for the grad students. Seeing my friend got their results gives me the ikea meatball filling. On one hand, I am happy for them, and I felt that I got hope as well. On the other hand, I grew even more uneasy, since I can't wait under that kind of stress. Thankfully, last week was quite hectic so I got a lot of distractions.

The result was supposed to come out on the 13th. So I waited on 12th until the turn of the day. right at 12 I pressed F5.

And the result is not out yet. -__-'

I waited another 5 minutes. Maybe it was not 13th yet on NTU server. I pressed F5 again.

And the result is not out yet. -_______-'

I pressed and pressed and pressed. Several ppl already asked me on gtalk: Irving, Indra, Kuncup, Maria, Itin. I said: Not yet. I waited until 1 am, finishing "Burlesque" on the process (It's nice. But the ending was lacking epicness). I pressed F5 again.

And the result is not out yet. -______________-'

I figured that I need to go to sleep early, since I will have Machine Learning Summer Studies at Biopolis for a week starting on th 13th (I'll write about this later). There I was, praying the 2 prayer points again. Miraculously, I am able to go to sleep directly. Thank God for that. The result was not out even when I woke up. So I muster up my mind and went to Biopolis. I can't get my hand off from my iPhone the whole day. I think the battery was running as low as 15% at 3 o'clock. Haha.

At 5 o'clock (with 6% of battery left), an email came. Saying that the result is out. Right in the middle of the seminar I went silent, and without realizing, I was praying for the same two prayer points again, but this time, I add another: so that I can accept anything that God deemed suitable. I logged in from my phone.

And I was stunned. @_@ That was the highest mark I've ever had my whole life. I was not paying attention to the seminar at all for 10 minutes or so, praising God and praying the whole time.

I was reminded once again, that God really provides. That He give according to His infinite wisdom to His people what is good in His time. I may fail the first sem (got scolded hard from my prof. haha) but it made this sem much more sweeter. And God truly gives abundantly. I was reminded on how beautiful it is to have brothers and sisters to share our burden with, praying for each other and hoping for the best to come to each of us.

So thank you for those who have prayed for me on this one. Papah, Benchers, Exco 07/08, Nesha, Indra, Pak Win, Bu Henny, Ci Mel, KTB bawah, flatmates.. I really appreciate it =). (sorry if i forgot to mention someone there. i think I ranted too much to everyone.. haha).

On sidenote, Exco 07/08 did another EST last saturday after DnD wedding. It was magnificent. I'll write something later on. =)

Let there be light!

The long promised post

2011-05-21T22:14:00.003+08:00

Yea, yea, I have slacked too long to write this post. Anyway, last month my father went to visit me here for 3 days 2 nights. Not much reason actually, he just came to visit, alone. So we had a nice father-and-son time along those times.

And yes, in my family, it means food. =D

I asked him to accompany me viewing for new flats. There were one at Clementi and another at Tiong Bahru. Both failed, miserably. Anyways, we were actually planning to eat at the market there anyways to look for suckling pig. So in the end both of us, joined by our agent and Irving ate suckling and ducks there. Haha. So-so, actually. Don't have the photo to share on this one.

We spend the rest of the day at the hotel, resting and talking. Later that night we went to Balestier Road in search for Bak Kut Teh. And oh my God. Those were heavenly! We went there to see a long queue, but seeing that it was not that long, we decided to queue for around 15 minutes. We ordered 2 Bak Kut Teh, 1 Pig Trotter, and some sides.

The ribs was so thick, the bowl almost filled with the meat. The soup was tasty and nice. It was wonderful. The only complain my father had is that the soup was too little (since the meat was very thick). And he likes his soup. However, just right after we discuss that, an uncle came with his metal glass of soup and we got refill, free-of-charge! We smiled, knowing that the seller really knows his customers. HAHA!

The next day we came to Chenli for sunday service, skipped the bible study (lol!) and went straight to Orchard. My father need to go to Tang's too look for something his wife ask him to bring, then we went straight to Centrepoint, since he wanted to see AFC store. Sadly, it was closed when we got there. Closed on Sundays, apparently.

We decided that we'll look for Peking Duck at Lido. Went there. The entire floor is closed for renovation -___-'. Choose Crystal Jade Home*something-i-forgot*. Some is nice, others are not. But we ate on anyways.

We close our Orchard adventure in cineleisure, watching "Source Code". Decent one I say. That's not bad at all. I felt bad though, because the whole time we were waiting for the movie, I was occupied with housing matters. Things went a bit complicated, and I panicked. But I think God is really great, because He gave me the time to spend with my father along with this kind of incident. I feel VERY reassured with his presence, and his words of comfort do calm me down. :')

Yea, I think I miss that a lot. I wanted to be independent, strong and capable of taking care of myself ever since I went to university. I became a very hard-headed guy, who want everything to be finished as soon as possible, as best as I can, but also as comfortable as possible. But whenever I am with him, I can feel at ease. I really do miss that times when I can be vulnerable and trust everything in my life to my father. Not that I became carefree, but it was a great break.

On the way back, we passed by Brotzeit at 313. My father saw the pork knuckle, and we got so excited. Haha. So we went back to our hotel in Ibis, rested until 7 pm, then ate our dinner at their branch on Raffles City! Yum yum yum.. =D

He went back the next morning. (Yes... I went to school around 1 pm that day), but we still had our chance to get breakfast together, and talk about things for a couple of hours until his flight. I really want to go back to Jogja now. Hahaha. But I think the soonest will be on July.. I have to rush for my project now. >.<

Anyways, today is NTU-ISCF AGM. Congratz to Nesha and Vincent =). I'll write something later on when I have more time. I need to get some rest today. ^^

Back to blogging

2011-05-16T14:08:00.002+08:00

Three weeks has passed since my last post. If you don't follow me on Buzz then you are missing a heated discussion there, caused by my last post. Which by the way, was a bit out of topic anyway.

Those three weeks without blog entry was... chaotic. From looking for a new house (found one already!), monetary problems caused by it, my father's visit, exams, rushing projects and EARC shooting -- those were quite a stressful period. In fact, I just finished a shooting session for EARC last night on Eusoff Hall (NUS). We did that until 4 a.m. -- meaning I'm pretty much dead now, writing this blog post in total nonsensical thought process, yet I'm still skimming through my paper. Believe it or not, I went to Eusoff Hall every night for the previous 5 days, without failing for the shooting. My...

I will share more about the new house later on when we moved (that will be on the first of June). I wanted to tell the story of my father's visit, but I forgot that I don't have apple peripheral cable in my office so I can't upload the photos. So I guess I'll do it later.

On exams... Well, I have to say that I think I did well, barring the stupid mistakes I did here and there, which is natural for exams period. But the thing is, my last GPA was 4.16, while my NPGS ask me to produce 4.00 CGPA. It means that I am that scarily close to the cut off line. I can't help to be anxious over the past week about this. =(

I know that it means that I have to get a B, B+ and B+ for the three subjects I take this semester. And I also realize that it is not that hard actually. BUT, why am I not able to be calm about it? =S

So friends, if you're reading this, please help me in prayer, so that I can be calm about this and keep faithful for His providence in this period of waiting (still one month until the result is out), and if you are willing to, please pray for my result as well, so that it is enough to keep my scholarship.. Thanks =)

One last not so important note... Singapore is getting HOT! >.< and my Air-con is pretty much spoiled. Rain please come. Every night please, but not on the day--I can use my lab's air-con for that.

Let there be light!
~can't wait to move to new house...

and then it was 13th

2011-04-26T12:18:00.002+08:00

Week 13 has come. Time waits for no one. Exam waits for no one. Argh
Finished all 5 KTB books last week. We will proceed to John Stott's "Issues Facing Christian Today" starting next semester. Let's see how it turns out
My simulation was not satisfactory. 20% performance level compared to 60% of the original paper is NOT acceptable. Oh my goodness. What to do? What to do? What to do?.... ..Exams...
Was shown this link this morning by the resharing of a number of people. I'm resharing it again. A small thing for our country, and supporting Indonesian students in other parts of the world.
The temperature is getting hotter by day. My air-con is spoiled. Talk about torture. Phew.
I had a neck pain on Saturday. I literally CAN'T turn my neck to the left. That was the day of pain. Thank God for healthy neck...

Thank God for 3G

2011-04-12T16:29:00.004+08:00

Yesterday, I had a quiz on computational intelligence. Now I think all of us may had a strange quiz in one way or another. But this one? Oh my...

To start, the prof does not bring a proper question paper. He just use the digital over head projector, just to realize that the projection can't afford showing the whole paper and we need to ask him to shift the paper all the time.

Then he announce that it was an open-book quiz. And I was memorizing all those equations over the weekends. Great.

Just to make things better, he left the class like 4-5 times for 5 minutes, and you guess, everyone starts giggling and talking with each other.

Now, as it stands, there's a question that ask us to find the inverse of a 3x3 matrix. Some calculators can do that, but accidentally mine can't. Of course I can take the long way for it -- but it would take forever and I felt lazy. So, since it's an open book exam, somehow i got a pretty good idea.

There comes iPhone. Open safari. Google "Matrix inverse calculator" and voilla! Thank God for 3G. Haha.

Anyway, there was no class yesterday so I can go back early to cook meat sauce for tonight's lasagna. Yum! =)

The Man (or Woman) behind The Man (or Woman)

2011-03-29T00:52:00.002+08:00

Just finished watching The King's Speech today. THAT WAS AWESOME! Really lives up to its 12 nominations for the Academy Awards. Now, I am not writing a movie review. You can go to any site if you want and you'll find one easily.

I am most moved by two characters: Geoffrey Rush's Lionel Logue and Helena Bonham Carter's Queen Mother. Not only because they acted splendidly, but because of their character and the part they played in the improvement of the King's speech capability.

Granted, the movie itself have its own problems on its historical accuracy, like the actual starting date of the treatment, Churchill's stand on Edward's abdication and the severeness of the King's stammer. But the character that they portrayed tells a lot.

Not every one of us is called to stand on the limelight. Some of us is called by God to do our part in a smaller scale, behind the one who are called to stand on the limelight. Assisting them, empowering them, being an honest and faithful friend to them. Like Logue, helping the King to overcome his problems by providing trainings and friendly support. Like Elizabeth, who as a wife pushed her husband to go beyond the limit, enabling the meeting between the two, and supporting her husband all the way.

This doesn't stop only in the film. If it's not because of his mother, Tom Hooper (the director), will not be making the movie. She was the one who bring the story to him, and he credited her on the Academy Awards stage, with the Oscar in his hand, and his mother in the audience.

If it was not because of Edward Kimball's urge to preach the word to D.L. Moody, then the Christianity scene in the world will be very different from today. If it is not because of the wisdom of Agus Salim, then Soekarno and Hatta will not be as big as they are today. Joseph towards Mary, Rebekah to the covenant family. ~~Pinky to Brain.~~

We too have our own callings. We might not all called to be the one standing on the spotlight, being the figure seen by the public and directly become the one affecting this world. But we might be called to be the one standing by those people. Supporting them behind the curtain. We might not even be called to be the one closest to those people, maybe only someone minor to the eyes of this world. But we does make the difference alongside all God's people. God does not see us by how famous we are.

God sees us by how faithful we are to our calling.

Heed His Call. Let there be light!

Fairly Mental

2011-03-26T21:45:00.002+08:00

*Disclaimer: this is a reflective post, and after writing it I realized that it can disturb some people. So, please pray and take a deep breath first. I don't have any answer for these questions that I throw for the time being, or even later on. But I know that I should still pursue what I can do best about it.

In conjunction with the having a bit of too much, my church visited the Institute of Mental ~~Hospital~~ Health today. I always mentioned that last "H" wrongly as "Hospital" instead of "Health" for some reason, so bear with me if it happens later on.

Anyway, this exposure trip is part of my responsibilities this term. We wanted to let the congregation be aware on the condition of the societies they are living in day-by-day. Coincidentally, FES also visited IMH last semester on their National Conference '10. So I asked around and decided to make the trip to IMH.

Originally, we planned to have a presentation by IMH at 2 to 3 pm followed by interaction with the patient from 3 to 5 pm. However, due to some unforeseen reasons, the presentation can only start at 2.45 and finished around 4.15 pm that means we don't have enough time to interact with the patients, who will have to go back to their room by 5 pm. So in the end, we only went into the ward where the patients who is well enough to get back to society is being treated.

But the visit was, for me, quite successful. We are exposed to the sad truth in our society, where mental health is a major source of Singaporeans' illnesses. It contributes 11% to the percentage of illnesses here, just 3% shy from Cancer, who sit at 14%. That is disturbing.

People around us got their own problems coping with their environment. Be it from internal or external factor, we are all affected. We do have some degree of mental illness in our minds. We just don't realize it, and thankfully, we are not chronic enough to get accepted into the institution. Or maybe we are just being unnoticed.

The thing is, it left me in horror when they told us that the institute has a lot of "possessions" in their care. That is, the patients whose their families abandoned them. Might be from the start no one cares, or someone who got parent who care but passed away and their brothers and sisters don't want to acknowledge them as relatives. Or maybe some unknown male or unknown female, who are not identified and no one is coming for them, even when the newspapers have shown their faces. There are many of them. And they are rejected by their own families. Parents, brothers, sisters, children.

It redefines the word "unreached people" to me. They are in a sense, even more unreached. Not that the geographical factors separate them from others, but their condition and the stigma of others fallen before them has left them as the outcast of the society. They are near, just one-hour MRT ride from boonlay. Yet I can't help to cry (well, figuratively at the moment of the presentation) to know that there are people like them.

Granted, there are a lot of doctors and nurses taking care of them. But even then, listening to the stories of the presenter that they are overjoyed by a visit of volunteers was proof that there are a big hole in their hearts even still. Granted, there are a lot of volunteers who come each weekends, especially on holidays. But for them who are left in solitude and friendless, a gentle act of love is something that is very meaningful.

This leads me to think to something even more disturbing. These people are those who are being treated in the institution. They are considered "lucky" enough that they have families who want them to get treated, regardless they are being accepted by the whole family or not. At least, they still have the doctors and nurses, specialists who care for them and working for their well-being. But what about the one who are not identified and treated?

I think it is very valid if I say that in this Asian context, to have someone admitted into hospital for mental illnesses is a big disgrace into the name of our families. Some parents does not even want to accept that their children are (pardon me) autistic, and made them go through the same system with other students, even though it will be such a torture to the child. Prestige and pride is higher than anything. Then there are people who are distressed, depressed or guilt-ridden. Some of them does not even have friends to share it into. Or even worse, their social networks told them that it was nothing big, and they expect them to get over it. The person can't get a proper care and compassions from others and eventually breaks down as their burden increases.

They might be beside us. People we know. People we usually have lunch or tea-time together. People who we usually read their blog about. People who usually go to Sunday Service or Fellowship together. People who at one time has been someone who brought back hope to us when we are down. People who we thinks are strong, but actually is acting strong because of the demand of the people around them. People who we thought are our so-called guru, but is actually bearing unjust expectation from us. Tormented. Dejected. Saddened. But because of one thing and another they have to carry on. And no one even sees.

They are even more unreached. They are even more forgotten.

It made me remember this song by Casting Crowns:

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin' so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they'll soon discover
That I don't belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything's okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I'll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation's open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who's been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who's traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is convincing
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Facebook notes reader can find the video here

When I first hear this song, I was directly struck by it. It was such a sad and scary song. Ironically, there are a lot of this people around us. Where are we, as brothers and sisters, to them who really needs us?

Let there be light.

Having a little bit of too much

2011-03-25T22:35:00.003+08:00

If last year when I was working I am having a lot of free time, then the period when I am doing my PhD is a period of me having a little bit of too much.

When I was working, I can juggle well between my ministry and my work and my social relationship. This time, I was having problem maintaining all three- I was asked more than once to sacrifice one to satisfy the other two.

I am really getting greedy. God forgive me. The things I do are not effective anymore. I am trapped in thinking about a lot of things, but when I finished thinking and want to start doing something, other things come in that demands my attention.

Looks like June will be the month of selection.. Please give me wisdom, O Lord, to be able to manage my time better.

I really miss the time when life is much simpler. Haha.

William Whiting Borden

2011-03-23T01:03:00.002+08:00

For you who came to my session in NTU ISCF Camp 2011 might already heard this name. Oh, for those who came to Chenli on the day of glory glory halleluyah should know as well, since I was yapping uncontrollably because I didn't know what to talk about for that particular song. But that song is for another day.

I wanted to write a full article about this man. I don't have the time now. So I'll post the video first. Anyway, if you're reading on FB or GBuzz, you might not be able to see the video. So you can check it here. Mark my word. I will write the article after this chaotic chapter subsided.

Me vs The Lift

2011-03-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

Went to FES office to take care of admin things today. Well, actually I just went there to drop some documents and leave to be exact.
Ci Mel was there when I arrived. So instead of going in and going out directly, I stayed and chat for like 2-3 hours. Haha.
Went back to NTU since I have a class at 6.30. Got inside the lift.
I can't get out.
Apparently, the power went down when I was between the 4th and 5th floor, and the lift stopped with quite a bang. Waited for sometime, luckily the emergency light was on and there's one bar of Singtel signal.
Thank God, I can get out in a short while only. Haha. I already unpacked my lecture notes and sat on the lift's floor when the power went back.
If I know that unpacking my lecture notes will turn the power back on, I would do so earlier. Kidding.
Went back to NTU (for real, this time) and come in for class, which apparently was doing some Linear Algebra review (I had this kind of lecture 3 times in one year. talk about redundant). Thank God the lecturer let us off with 30 minutes before the class end.
Saw two PRCs having a couple's fight on the way to 199 bus stop. I know, that is not polite for me to put this on my blog. But they fight in front of the men's toilet door near CEE school entrance. The girl just sat on the floor scolding the guy, and I really need to use the toilet. Talk about awkward.
What a day.
Oh, in case you missed it. This is the saying of the day: "Sumpah Pemuda" or maybe "Sumpah Ayam Muda".
Back to assignment that is due next week @_@!!!!

Another Random Post

2011-03-19T15:38:00.002+08:00

If you followed my blog previously, you know that I'm having a hectic week ahead of me. I will not be able to post much. Please pray for me.
Please pray for Japan in the midst of the disaster that came upon them. Pray for the victims, pray for help, pray for families to be able to connect again, and especially pray for KGK.
NTU ISCF camp 2011 is a unique one. =)
My body has been acting strange lately. Partly due to stress, partly due to my own idiocy. Please pray for my health.
Thankful for every test and struggle that God has given to me. As time goes on, the difficulty arise and we are tested even more. But I want to say amen to first Corinthians. But anyway, saying that and keeping that faith is one thing, actually going through it is another. I am still in the process of it, so it kinda hurts now. Haha.
Some tasks points has been finished. but that consist of only 30% of what I wrote last time.
This is getting to be random rants. Let's stop here before I curse. Haha.

Bee hoon and fishcake

2011-03-11T03:11:00.003+08:00

Reflecting on FESIM Vision:
A story made from bee hoon and fishcake

Cerita ini terjadi tahun 2005. Adalah seorang freshman undergrad yang terlihat cupu dan polos, namun sebenarnya tidak peduli dengan orang-orang di sekitar, menganggap diri sebagai salah seorang yang diatas rata-rata dengan latar belakang yang dia miliki, dan apathetic terhadap keberadaan Tuhan. Bisa dibilang dia seorang yang besar kepala, atau kalau dalam bahasa daerah saya, gedhe ndhase.

Kenapa dia bisa memutuskan untuk ikut persekutuan ISCF dia kurang ingat. Mungkin karena pada saat extracurricular-fair ISCF membuka booth, dia mendaftarkan diri supaya saya tidak merasa bersalah jika tidak mempunyai kegiatan rohani. Orang bilang, hidup bisa berbelok tajam hanya karena pilihan-pilihan kecil. Mungkin ini ada benarnya.

So there he was, duduk di antara orang-orang yang sebagian besar tidak dikenal, ikut dalam persekutuan welcome tea freshmen di ISCF. Puji-pujian dinyanyikan, games-games (yang waktu itu menurut dia sangat konyol) dimainkan, kenalan dengan senior-senior…

…Dan akhirnya bagian presentasi tentang ISCF dan FESIM. Di presentasi ini, visi FESIM dituturkan kepada para freshmen disusul dengan penjelasan tentang distinctive gerakan kita dibandingkan dengan gerakan-gerakan yang lain. Semuanya dipresentasikan dengan WAH. Dia mendengarkan dengan seksama…

…Dan sama sekali tidak menganggap itu penting. Tidak ada yang membekas di kepalanya tentang visi dan misi FESIM dari presentasi itu. Ada yang bilang itu karena yang presentasi jelek, well… mungkin. Tapi mungkin juga bukan itu masalahnya.

Bayangkan diri Anda sebagai seorang remaja yang baru mulai kuliah: ‘akhirnya’ bebas dari peraturan-peraturan orang tua tentang jam belajar dan pergi jalan-jalan, ditambah pengalaman bergabung dalam beberapa organisasi sejak SMA. Buat kebanyakan orang seperti ini, visi dan misi adalah omong kosong yang membatasi gerakan dan keberadaannya cuma ada untuk lengkap-lengkapan saja: tidak afdhol kalau organisasi nggak punya pernyataan visi dan misi. It has nothing to do with him, and being the phlegmatic person as he was, he just let it pass.

Saya pikir dia bukan satu-satunya orang yang berpikiran demikian. Nyaris semua dari kita berpikir demikian saat pertama kali mendengarkan visi FESIM kita tercinta (sebenarnya saya ingin menulis semua, tapi supaya lebih diplomatis, saya tulis nyaris semua saja). Jika direnungkan kembali, kita sering ingin menangkap mahasiswa baru ke ISCF dalam kondisi sudah mengerti visi kita. Tapi kenyataannya, tidak semua mahasiswa bisa menangkapnya pada saat pertama kali diperdengarkan.

Fortunately, ceritanya tidak berakhir di situ. Setelah selesai welcome tea calon PKTB-nya datang mendekat sambil membawa dua kotak makanan. Sang CPKTB menawarkan untuk menculik freshman itu demi bisa ngobrol berdua saja. Terbuai dengan iming-iming bee hoon dan fishcake, dia setuju untuk diculik. Sekali lagi, sebuah pilihan kecil yang membawa perubahan yang besar. Bee hoon dan fishcake.

Obrolan panjang mengalir sampai (akhirnya) obrolan mulai menjurus ke hal-hal rohani. Pertanyaan keramatpun keluar: Kalau kamu mati, kamu yakin ngga masuk ke surga? (Berhubung si freshman baru aja dibaptis, dia bisa menjawab dengan bener.) Akhirnya dia ditawari untuk ikut KTB, and being a nice Chinese guy who actually grew up in a Javanese culture, he can’t say no.

Tapi Tuhan memakai itu untuk mengubah hidupnya dan membawa dia mendekat kepada Tuhan. Dia datang ke Singapura tanpa rencana untuk bergereja dengan tetap, akhirnya malah menetap dan melayani di salah satu gereja. Seorang yang dulunya tidak pernah sama sekali bersaat-teduh (bahkan tahu itu apa aja tidak) diajar untuk mulai bersaat teduh sampai sekarang akhirnya bisa merasakan bahwa datang ke hadirat Tuhan secara rutin adalah hal yang sangat penting. Seorang yang bisa melontarkan umpatan-umpatan kasar pada saat sedih dan senang, perlahan-lahan diubahkan.

Tentu saja itu semua merupakan proses yang panjang dan cukup menyakitkan. Ada orang bilang jadi orang Kristen itu tidak membuat masalah kita selesai, malah sebenarnya makin bertambah. Namun dia sekarang menyadari bahwa itu semua berbuah manis. Melihat ke belakang, dia bersyukur diizinkan untuk berubah menjadi lebih baik dan menyadari bahwa ISCF dan KTB memegang peranan yang sangat vital dalam semua itu.

Mungkin kebanyakan dari kita sudah merasakan hal yang sama. Jika belum, saya meyakini dan berharap akan merasakan hal itu nantinya. Perubahan karakter, perubahan cara pandang dan perubahan dependensi. Dari yang dahulu entah apa, menjadi serupa kepada Kristus. Mereka yang start dalam kondisi cukup dewasa, juga menjadi jauh lebih matang. Kita menjadi orang-orang yang rela untuk memikul salib kita masing-masing, dan melihat betapa besar kasih karunia yang Allah berikan kepada kita.

Mendengar cerita seperti ini membuat saya tersadarkan: visi kita ini sesuatu yang masuk akal. Hal yang kerap digembar-gemborkan ini menjadi sesuatu yang relevan bagi kita. Apa yang dulu merupakan omong kosong menjadi sesuatu yang ternyata benar-benar telah mengubahkan hidup seseorang.

Banyak hal yang dipakai Tuhan untuk sewaktu kita masih mahasiswa: studi, KTB, ISCF, gereja dan school activities membentuk suatu dinamika yang unik. Melihat bagaimana shalom Allah itu terwujud dalam skala kecil di dalam persekutuan, akhirnya membuat kita mendambakan shalom yang sama terwujudkan di luar persekutuan. Hal-hal yang tidak sesuai dengan prinsip Firman Tuhan mulai menjadi struggle masing-masing pribadi dan muncul keinginan untuk mengajak orang lain untuk berubah. Tanpa kita sadari, kita menjadi agents of change, meskipun mungkin berawal dalam skala yang kecil.

Efek dari perubahan-perubahan itu masih nyata setelah lulus dari universitas. Dalam dunia kerja, bisa kita lihat bagaimana kesetiaan terhadap Allah menjadi motivator untuk bisa setia dalam pekerjaan-pekerjaan kecil. Kerinduan untuk bisa menjadi garam dan terang kepada rekan sekerja yang belum percaya akhirnya menjadi motivasi untuk menjaga hubungan yang baik dengan mereka.

Tetapi bukankah itu semua adalah visi kita di FESIM? Menumbuhkembangkan pemimpin-pemimpin yang serupa dengan Kristus yang berperan strategis di tengah-tengah kampus, gereja, masyarakat, bangsa dan dunia bagi kemuliaan Allah. Bukankah ini semua buah dari visi itu?

Bayangkan jika kita bisa menangkap mahasiswa-mahasiswa dan membawa mereka kepada Kristus. Mahasiswa yang belum percaya. Mahasiswa yang sudah Kristen namun merupakan Kristen nominal. Mahasiswa yang sudah benar-benar Kristen dan terus bertumbuh.

Bayangkan jika lebih banyak lagi orang-orang yang bisa mengalami hal yang serupa, dan mereka bisa menjadi alat-alat Allah dimana mereka ditempatkan. Di gereja menjadi pelayan-pelayan yang membantu pertumbuhan jemaat yang lain. Di bidang profesi masing-masing menjadi saksi-saksi Kristus dan membawa terang di sektor-sektor yang biasanya dianggap buruk. Di keluarga menjadi orang tua yang membimbing anak-anaknya mendekat kepada Kristus. How wonderful is that?

Saya bukanlah seseorang yang ikut mencetuskan kalimat visi ini, bahkan saya tidak ikut dalam proses evolusi visi kita (pengkalimatan visi ini pernah melewati pergantian, meskipun intinya tetaplah sama). Tetapi saya bisa melihat kenapa visi ini bisa muncul pada mulanya: menjawab panggilan Allah dalam Amanat Agung-Nya, dengan panggilan khusus kepada mahasiswa yang nantinya akan menjadi pemimpin-pemimpin di dunia.

FESIM saat ini sudah melayani sekitar 12 tahun. Kita sudah mulai bisa melihat buah-buah pelayanan kita, terutama dari 3-4 angkatan pertama: berkarya di gereja, keluarga dan pekerjaan masing-masing. Mereka memegang posisi-posisi strategis menurut kehendak Allah. Saudara-saudara, ini baru awalnya dan masih akan ada angkatan lain dari angkatan-angkatan yang kita layani yang akan menyusul di tahun-tahun yang akan datang.

Bayangkan kalau itu semua bisa dipertahankan dan terus menerus dikerjakan dalam waktu yang lama. Bagaimana efeknya terhadap kesaksian pengikut Kristus di dalam masyarakat, bagaimana efeknya terhadap negeri kita Indonesia, bagaimana efeknya dalam dunia kita ini nantinya dalam 10, 20 atau 30 tahun ke depan?

Jarang sekali saya melihat Tuhan mengerjakan sesuatu dan hasilnya terlihat secara instan. Most of the time, Dia dengan sabar bekerja perlahan-lahan, dengan visi yang jelas. Visi kita juga adalah sesuatu yang membutuhkan waktu dan proses. Tapi di akhir proses yang panjang itu, saya imani visi pemuridan ini akan menjadi sesuatu yang bisa mengubah dunia. Saya percaya sepenuh hati bahwa visi ini datang dari Tuhan. Ia yang mengutus, Ia juga yang akan memperlengkapi utusan-utusan-Nya.

Dalam edisi-edisi PISTOS yang akan datang kita akan melihat aspek-aspek dari visi kita dan apa yang kita bisa lakukan seiring dengan visi itu. Namun sebagai pembukaan saya mengajak setiap dari kita untuk melihat visi yang kita kerjakan sebagai sesuatu yang akan terus relevan dan worth untuk dikerjakan. Saya mengajak kita sekalian untuk bergerak bersama-sama mengerjakan visi ini sebagai satu keluarga di dalam Kristus, dan FESIM secara khusus.

Mungkin kita tidak mengerti apa visi itu pada saat kita pertama kali mendengarnya. Tidak apa, karena memang itu sebuah proses dan akan terlihat perlahan-lahan. Mungkin kita saat ini belum mengerti pentingnya visi itu. Tidak apa-apa juga, karena saya percaya, eventually it will make sense. Why? Well, I have been there. Remember the story in the beginning of this write up? That’s me.

Saya ingin mengajak kita semua untuk menangkap visi itu, dan mulai mengerjakannya. Dalam hal kecil, dengan setia. Di balik itu Allah mengerjakan hal yang luar biasa. Just like how He used bee hoon and fishcake to bring big changes to a nominal Christian boy’s life.

*This article was written for FESIM's PISTOS, January 2011.

Coincidences can be good or bad

2011-03-04T23:56:00.003+08:00

Went visiting to NTU ISCF PU today. They did it on TR31, so it was quite cramped. Pras is speaking, with "Shining Like Stars" as its topic. Typically, how to be a witness in campus perspective.

First time I heard about the topic I directly poke Alison who is sitting beside me, saying "Oh wow. Next week I'm going to speak for a similar topic for the first year in camp."

That means I need to rethink about my presentation outline, as unavoidably there will be some overlap (even though I find out that I did not need to change much, only reinforce). But that's extra work already. Lucky I decided to visit today.

Even more surprising, Alison told me: "Really? I'm also going to talk to the first year on camp on similar topic too To."

What? -.-'

Apparently, he will be talking about witnessing on the morning, followed by me the next session on a topic about connecting campus life and witnessing. Great. Another changes.

It turns out, being a speaker is not so simple when you consider the strings of speak being done before and after us. Getting tunnel visioned only on our responsibility is easy. Seeing the big picture, on the other hand, is pretty hard.

I guess, it is also the same when we apply it to our life. We think about our own responsibility, ministry and desires. We already checked that it does not clash with God's command so we think that it's okay to do that. So we do. But then we realize, we are not contributing anything. We forget to see that there are others beside us who already paved the path for us. In the end, it's not even effective anymore. Same thing happens even to things outside of our ministry, even PhD. Haha.

Important lesson learned. In times like this, I guess C.S. Lewis said it best:

"Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn."

Let there be light.

A new generation

2011-03-03T22:43:00.003+08:00

This post will make me feel old. Haha.

But anyways, last time on this particular post I wrote about my niece right? She should be 7 months old by now. I went back three times between her birth and today, and even then I am able to see how adorable she is. =)

Well anyways, this is a picture I took when I went back on December. We visited my grandma from my mother's side. Stella was so happy that day, and I got a shot with her, her mother and her great-grandma. Three generations. Too bad my mother is not around any longer, or it might have been four generations :').

Yea, I love my family so much. =) And whenever I felt down (today included, I guess), there's nothing like a bright smile of an innocent niece to make my day better =)

Let there be light! =)

On renewed spirit

2011-03-03T00:02:00.006+08:00

Went to NTU ADM building today. Abed is having a presentation in his Kwek Leng Joo Award thingy. Arrived at 4 pm just to realize that the event starts at 5. Haha. Strolled ADM for half-an-hour.

Interestingly, that half-an-hour was exciting. =) Truly, the school of arts student is not as boring as the school of engineering student. Haha. I really got interested in looking at the lockers of the students there. Most of them have stuff placed on the doors of the lockers. Some is funny. Some is beautiful. Some others is intriguing.

Then there was also the decorations put up on the walls and the floors. But the most interesting part is looking at the photography students' FYP. They put some on the walls. One very interesting photo is a hawker version of the last supper. Yes, you're not seeing things. Hawker center version. Put them in this post also. Then the "Are we there yet" series. This one is truly intriguing. See it yourself. Haha.

*Sorry, the photo of the hawker last supper need to be removed by request =)

5 pm came and I went to the tea reception first. Like a true PhD student. =p. Saw some of Abed's photos that I haven't seen before. He won first place and got 30k SGD cash. That is uber-kewl. =D

Anyway, I can't stay long at the presentation as I have class on 6.30. So I went out in the middle of it, but I can't help but to feel refreshed. Mine is after all, eye for visual arts. =)

Congratz to Abed. Make sure to come visit his exhibition on May! =)

Anw, sorry lah if the photos I take is not like ADM students'. I only use iPhone.

Making sure I'm not forgetting

2011-03-01T16:21:00.002+08:00

Okay. I have a lot of things to take care of starting this month. So I'll just note them down here to prevent me from forgetting about it. Here goes:

March:
- Leading worship at Chenli on 6th
- NTU ISCF Camp, 11-14 March, speaking for first year session on the 12th
- Speaking for NTU's EE Training on 16th
- Speaking for NTU Fellowship for second year session on 25th March
- Council Meeting on 30th March, sort out stuff with Hendry before meeting
- Revising first part of courses by Recess week
- Produce a valid result on the project by Recess week
- Shooting for EARC video. Doh.
- Chenli visit to IMH on 26th
- KTBs. As usual.

April:
- Speaking for NUS Fellowship of the same topic as 12th March on 8th April
- Assignment deadline on the same week
- EARC video by end of April. OMG. And the script is not even finished yet. Uber-OMG.
- KTBs. As usual.

May:
- Exams on 5, 9 and 11 of May. Doh.
- EARC

Seeing this list made me feel tired already. (T_T)

.......back to work.......

And here I go again =)

2011-02-28T22:47:00.003+08:00

So I'm back again. This time, I will be giving it my best to update this blog on a regular basis. Let's just hope that this time around, my workload doesn't hinder me from blogging here.

Basically, it's a combination of campus and ministry workloads that prevents me to post things here for the previous 8-10 months or so. I still have the same workloads, if not increased, now, but I do want to start writing once again.

Anyways, this one post will be short, as there's some things that I need to take care of at the moment. I wish the new design is easier to read.

Oh, and just a trivia. It appears that Mr. Budi Soehardi, who I wrote a post quite a while back posted some shoutout while I was away. =) You can see that post in this link.

No. I'm not forgetting.

2010-10-07T14:08:00.003+08:00

As the title said, I didn't forget posting in this blog. I just got overwhelmed by things these two weeks and I haven't been able to post anything. I have quite a lot of things to write, but apparently, I forgot more than half of it. Great.
Congratulations to Ko Ari, hope you have an everlasting wedding =). I had a great time in Surabaya.
American series kicked back into my life. House, Glee, Lie to Me, Gossip Girl (yea, i watched it, thanks to my ex-roommate), CSIs... All those when I don't actually have the luxury of time. Gosh. The download just got stockpiled in my hard drive.
FF XIV just came out, PES 2011 will be coming out as well. I'm not planning to but FF XIV for now, unless there's friends who are interested in playing it together. PES 2011 is out of question, it's mandatory. I'm finding my Starcraft 2 playing time cut short by series and new games even more -- when I actually have little time due to my PhD course and my ministries. Gosh.
No. I'm not considering quitting games. Haha. It's a hobby. I know some people find it counter-productive and anti-social and stuff, but hey, I grew up with that and it has played some part in shaping my decision making skills. It's not all bad actually. It's whether you get addicted of it or not.
Watched Glee season 2 episode 3. The theme is about religious and spiritual stuff. As you expect of American context, Christianity is the one that got into spotlight, and in the bad way. Although I didn't really like the episode, I have to say that it really reflects current generation's worldview. And it is saddening. The episode itself is intriguing. I will just let you see for yourself.
Day[9] daily rocks. Haha. I'm proud to be a nerd. =p
I'll post some writing by Spurgeon later on. I had this evening devotional two-three nights ago that punch me in its own sweet spot.
My projects has been progressing smoothly. Well, i did face some problems, but I think I'll manage. The main concern is about Dirichlet Process. Can anyone teach me about it? =(
My course have been less than easy. Actually that is an understatement. It is HARD. I'm struggling to understand the topic each week. Please pray for me. =/

Pick Yourself Up

2010-09-21T14:43:00.003+08:00

My life is full of jazzy tunes lately ;)

Random Post #1

2010-09-06T21:58:00.002+08:00

I thank God for letting me wake up at 11 am today. LOL
Thank God for canteen filled with people that forced me to eat my lunch at 1.30 pm, which brings something that made my day =D
Cramer-Rue Lower Bound reminds me of my IMO days. Mathematical proof full of cheats.
I'm more and more lost in papers. Can someone show me what project to do?
I kept delaying my sharing on EAGC+HK/Macau trip. I'm still waiting for Jo to release the photos haha... so please hang on. OK?
The curse of Padmanaba is real.

I'm a bit rusty

2010-09-01T14:52:00.002+08:00

So I will be taking 3 subjects this semester: Linear System, Neural Network and Statistical Signal Processing. I wanted to take one technical subject actually, but my supervisor strongly suggest against it and told me to take more theoretical subject, since it will be more useful to me taking phd. So there you are, 3 theoretical subjects.

One thing that I realized after I came to those 6.30-9.30 pm (yeah, i am having three 3-hours-class-after-6-pm in a week) is this:

My head can't really connect to what the prof is teaching.

Oh Noooooo!!! I guess that's what happens when you did not study for more than one year. Haha...

*Back to reading paper*

You are invited

2010-08-25T14:04:00.004+08:00

"You are invited to attend ... held on 25th August 2010, 15.00 at ... "
- mail received on 25th August 2010, 13.00

"The venue has been changed to ... "
- mail received at 14.10

It's good to be back in NTU...
...for whatever reason it is.. LOL.

Shine Like Stars - Accoustic

2010-08-21T22:02:00.001+08:00

Just knew there's this version of the song =D

Greetings Weaklings

2010-08-10T21:19:00.001+08:00

Welcome to the Family ^^~

2010-07-29T22:30:00.004+08:00

It's a joyful, joyful, day! =D

I'm welcoming a new member of my family yesterday, 28th of July 2010 =)

Well, she is why I went back to Jogja over the weekend.. Hehehe...

Really, really, glad for my brother and his wife ^^~

Now for little Stefi, may you keep walking in the truth and have a life full of blessings ahead, and of course, spread that blessings to others! =)

Let there be light!

-Now officially an uncle

Thank You Gemalto =)

2010-07-29T22:23:00.003+08:00

It has been 1 year, 1 month and 8 days. Two projects, one team, GREAT experience. It has come to an end, yea, but it was such an experience full of blessing. If you followed my blog since the start, you’ll know that I wanted to do PhD. I took up the job offer in Gemalto was mainly because of, sadly, I did not get the NPGS in my first try. I did, however, want to taste how it works inside the real industry before going on with my research. For me, it was a huge success.

Special thanks to all my colleagues, my boss, my boss’s boss and my boss’s boss’s boss for making it such a blessed one year plus. I really liked the working environment there in Gemalto. Loved what I do and cherishes the people I worked with. I pray for all the best to come in all of them, and I gave never-ending thanksgiving to the Lord of all who made it possible.

In fact, it was a blessing in disguise. I got a handful of lesson working in actual development which I won’t be able to learn in school. I gained a lot of friend, and I also got my PR (which I think will be impossible to get if I got the NPGS in the first try). Oh, and don’t forget the lost passport drama, the compassionate leave segment and forcing Europeans to eat durians. That was priceless. =D

Thank you Gemalto. It has been such a joyful ride. It’s sad that I have to leave you, but I’m glad I had the chance to know you.

Let there be light!

Final Fantasy XIV Benchmark

2010-07-21T19:59:00.005+08:00

The next Final Fantasy is the Fourteenth. It will be an MMORPG, just like XI, but with higher quality of graphics. They released a 350 MB benchmarking software that shows you how the game looks (and it was AWESOME) and as the demo roll on, it will keep track of your PC's frame rate. It will give a specific score that serves as a indicator whether our system will be ready for the stuff when it comes out - or not.

So I ran the benchmark test on the highest resolution (1920x1080) and low resolution (1280x720), and was amazed by the graphics. In the end, I got a 1600 (high resolution) and 2700 (low resolution) for my Desktop. I thought that it was decent. I mean, my PC is, of course, outdated with Pentium i7 and ATI HD 5850 sprouting everywhere but I am confident that it is still decent for playing games. I haven't face any difficulty so far... so it should not be much problem right?

WRONG. Totally WRONG.

This is the description for scores between 1500-1999 and 2500-2999:

[2500-2999] Standard Performance (Low Resolution)

Capable of running the game on default settings.

[1500-1999] Low Performance (High Resolution)
Capable of running the game, but will experience considerable slowdown. Adjusting settings is unlikely to improve performance.

...and it was the range of scores right after the last!! @_@

Should I upgrade? Hmmm....

(If you are curious on how good your system is, you can click at this hyperlink to test. it's free.)

RIP - Microsoft Wireless 700 (2008-2010)

2010-07-15T20:06:00.004+08:00

So the time finally cometh. The notoriously hard keyboard finally dies. I think the wireless module blew up after hundreds hours of usage. Just came back from office and when I tried to turn on my PC I realized that it isn't working anymore. What a shame.

So with the IT Crisis happening, I rushed my dinner and went to Challenger to find a new one. Thing is, the JP doesn't have the top-of-the-line keyboards unlike when I go to Funan. The choice were limited. Now considering all the hype with SC2 coming, I considered buying Razer. Yea.. the Razer. JP only have Lycosa and Arctosa - Having difficulties in deciding between them, I googled for reviews. and finally made my choice. I choose........

....

Microsoft Digital Media 3000. LOL.

The reviews for both Arctosa and Lycosa is worse than I think. And on top of that, this month sees me spending quite some bucks for one time spending: Air-con service, WC2010, extra flat rental, tickets for HK-Macau-Jogja, hotel and EAGC registration. And on top of that: Starcraft 2. So it will not be wise to pay for an overpriced keyboard. I choose a wired keyboard that is decent enough with economical value.

So far my only concern is that it's somewhat too low even when the stand is up. My fingers are feeling a bit discomfort. Other concern is that the key are smaller than my last keyboards and my arms are not used to it. yet. But I hope it'll get better after I am used to it.

So to close: in memoriam rock-hard keyboard. Welcome cheap alternatives XD

Let there be keyboards!
Eagerly waiting for Starcraft 2.
...well actually I'm waiting for holiday >.<... my mind is filled with stuffs right now..

Thank God for Corporate Price

2010-07-14T15:52:00.002+08:00

It was not a secret that office 2007 is a major let down. Sure, the interface become very catchy, but user experiences drops undeniably low. It has been 8 years since 2003 came out and I'm still putting my faith in it.

Then comes Windows 7. Changed to W7 quite some time ago and it was great! unlike Vista, the response was quick, and the interface became nice without sacrificing user experience. With this kind of improvement from Vista, it's not a wish too big if we think that Office 2010 will be better.

But the price is a mass murder! =.='

Well W7 is also pricey, but I got it free (Special thanks to ko Robert). But spending more than $300 when the OS is free is plain strange. haha. I was planning on see-how-it-went stance, but these thing came out on my email yesterday: I can get it for 15 SGD. Cool.

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-07T11:50:00.003+08:00

No, i'm not talking about US Independence day.

Happy B'day Pah =)

On future contemplated

2010-07-01T11:30:00.003+08:00

It's not official yet, but as some of you might know, I am going back to school shortly. Praise be to the Lord, NTU offered me the NPGS Scholarship last May, which I accepted immediately. Working as an engineer in Gemalto has been a lot of fun, and I think is far more secure than having Permanent head Damage (PhD). But when it comes to passion, opportunity and prayers that is answered, well, we need to take a leap of faith.

....Even though this leap of faith will be a big one. Haha.

So I went to NTU last Tuesday to meet with my prof and his PhD student. We talked about projects and what I should expect in my 4 years journey in my PhD. Truth be told, I am thankful that I can work with my supervisor, because even though he is busy or sometimes hard to contact, he is willing to spare his time, share his knowledge, gave inputs for improvements and best of all, be honest about what he said. I worked with him in my FYP, and he told me a lot of things to be considered before taking my PhD. He even admit that he may forgot about his students from time to time, but ask us to chase for him whenever it happens. So, yes, he's not the perfect supervisor, but ideal for me.

He gave me three options for my projects:

1. Doing research on activity recognition (again)
Most likely doing what is similar to my FYP, but with different focus and methods. He will be able to give much guidance, but expects me to be better than him in one years time (right..) Catch is, the funding will be less, and the topic have been stagnant for a while (according to him)

2. Switch area to Interactive Media
He said that one former PhD student of his opened a company focusing on this area. What is Interactive Media? well, you can read about it here. Basically if you watch my videos post in this blog previously, those are interactive media (the high tech one). It's quite surprising to find that he's offering me this area of research. The pros is that it's emerging interest, funding will come easily. The cons? nobody knows anything, including my supervisor. haha. I need to start from ground zero. But, Augmented Reality is uber kewl!

3. Propose something to him
Okay, I'll pass on this one. Don't have the time to formulate anything now.

But the hard thing for me is that currently, I'm feeling insecurities all over my life. I don't know why, but it does disturb my life. I'm in melancholic mood by default most of the times >.<. So.. this explains the lack of post to this blog. haha. Please pray for me on two things:
1. That I can choose what I want to do wisely
2. That I can overcome the internal struggles I'm having right now

Let there be light!

Greater things are yet to come

2010-06-10T23:49:00.002+08:00

Liked this song a lot lately =) (thanks to a certain flatmate who keep singing this song haha..)

Yes; greater things are yet to come!

God of this City
Chris Tomlin

You're the God of this City, You're the King of these people
You're the Lord of this nation, You are
You're the Light in this darkness, You're the Hope to the hopeless
You're the Peace to the restless, You are
There is no one like our God, There is no one like our God

For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmC44K0xQLE&feature=related

Just knew that Kris Allen did a version of this song too! =D.

Another Geek Post

2010-06-03T17:17:00.003+08:00

I found this video today, it's about 3D modeling, but it captures the object from a webcam and make the 3D object from it. Mono-camera-based, not stereo camera. and afterward, it's able to track the object movement O_O

I feel like my FYP project was a child play. Man...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEOmzjImsVc&feature=player_embedded

Another Kewl Post

2010-06-02T14:05:00.002+08:00

I'm in geeky mode right now =P. I think you know the anamorphism effect. People who draw something in 2D but can be seen in 3D when you see it from a certain angle. From other angles, it may look silly, but at a certain angle, it's really cool. Like this video below

So, there's a guy named Sander ter Braak (a student!) who created a REAL-TIME animated object, which tracks the position of the viewer and generate an anamorphism image such that wherever the viewer stands, it will be seen in 3D. Kewl! Videos communicates this easier.

Pre-holographic technologies eh? =D

This is Uber Kewl

2010-06-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

Of grace perfected

2010-05-31T10:16:00.000+08:00

"...We have but to think of the myriads who have been delivered from all sorts of diseases through the power and virtue of his touch, and we shall joyfully put ourselves in his hands. We trust him, and sin dies; we love him, and grace lives; we wait for him and grace is strengthened; we see him as he is, and grace is perfected forever."
- Charles Spurgeon

To know you

2010-05-19T20:28:00.002+08:00

I really liked this song. I can really sing it with conviction, because God is my salvation. I am amazed to be under the care of such amazing God, loving Father and caring Friend. Each day is a new day, simply because He teach me something new, to be more like Him. To God be the glory.

Happy Birthday Mom!

2010-05-04T21:37:00.003+08:00

Well, yes it is 2 days late. I didn't have the chance to put it on blog post last Sunday, and somehow I forgot to post it yesterday. 2nd of May will always be memorable for me.

Happy B'day Ma.. =)

Anw, got an amazing news just an hour ago. Will share it with you when the time is right =)

Right now, I'll just say "Thanks, Lord."

He really hear our prayers =)

Let there be light!

Weary

2010-05-03T22:30:00.002+08:00

Why are we weary? Why are we afraid?
Isn't it God Himself that is standing beside us?
No matters is too big for Him,
No situation is too much for Him.
He who makes the universe revolves,
And it is Him who made the earth go round.
No cries of human is too trivial for Him,
There are no sufferings that He did not understand
For He Himself hung on that cross
Dying, forsaken, for me and for you.

He knows what we are going through.
But why are we worried still?
Supposedly, in Him we found refuge
But why, o man, you think that He did not understand?
Why are we thinking that our life is too unimportant to Him,
While He Himself come down from heaven,
To be shamed, suffer and die for us?

Let no man fall and mistaken.
For if the Lord is not the Lord of all,
Then He is not your Lord at all.

O weary heart, find your peace.

Sharpening iron

2010-04-27T17:25:00.001+08:00

We had a very interesting session in the church last Sunday. Ko Joni (for you who didn’t know him, he is an SBC student who is ministering in CLPC) is having an assignment to do a session on counseling for his course. So he asked us to do it after church instead of the usual bible study class. He did it along with his classmate Mrs. Debora (I hope I spelled her name correctly), with a focus on parenting.

The presentation itself, to be honest, was a little bit cramped here and there. There are too many information to process and a little too academic for a two-hour session. But having a 16 weeks course converted into a two-hour session is, of course, destined to go that way. Having said all that, I felt more blessed and satisfied than not. Ko Joni’s sharing on his own family were very touching and, I guess, those sharing were the real example on why we need to be more careful with our way of living, especially when other lives are involved.

I guess it does not limit the importance to parents, but also us as a community of believers. We can’t ignore the fact that some brothers and sisters are more mature in one aspect or another, and more often than not, these brothers and sisters are going to be an example to other believers. How we behave will indirectly affect their development as well. Now, it may not be as significant as parents, or PKTB or pastors, but I believe that we have the power to alter someone life and I do think that Jesus wants us to sharpen each other like iron is being sharpened by another.

On the surprising side, we did two tests: ISE and ISS, which are tests on Self Esteem and Self Shame. I scored 70 and 71 out of 100 respectively – a very high result compared to the others who stays around 30 to 50. They said that the higher it is the lower self-esteem I have or the bigger the self-shame that I put on myself. The healthy mark is 30, 100 being the worst. I stand at the apex of the church members with 141 points on aggregate. Cool.

Nobody believed. =.=’

Mark 13 - Part 2

2010-04-17T15:04:00.001+08:00

Ok… Back to Mark 13

We left off last time as Jesus warned the disciples of the persecutions that lie in wait for them. The next things that Jesus said were this:

The appearance of “Abomination of desolation” standing where he shouldn’t be (14)
Run to the mountains when that happens, immediately (14-16)
Pray that it will not happen in bad timing (17-18)
The tribulation will be like nothing ever seen before (19)
If the Lord does not cut it short, all will perish (20)
Appearance of false prophets, christs, and signs (21-22)
Be on guard since He has said that beforehand (23)

If Jesus was referring to the end of times, then most likely He is talking about the tribulation (and hence, pre-millennialism view). Verses 14-18 will means that someone can do something to avoid (or at least, lessen) the effect of the tribulation, and it would be detrimental if someone have his or her focus on something else, as they will most likely fall on the tribulations. The tribulations will be the worse the world has ever seen (worse than the signs in Signs 1) but God will make it short for the sake of the elect. Hence we, as those elect, must be on guard.

It is also possible, however, if Jesus was referring to the historical destruction of the temple. The “Abomination of desolation” refers to Daniel 9:27 and 11:31. The words “let the readers understand” (verse 14) is not a remark from Mark but a remark from Jesus, saying to the disciple to recognize what Daniel meant. If it is so, then Jesus is telling the disciple to be on guard and flee from Jerusalem when the “Abomination of desolation” is standing where he shouldn’t be, as the tribulation will be great on them if they stay.

In actual, this is what happened back before the temple was destroyed by Titus. In 67-68 A.D. Jewish fanatics occupied the temple, and they allowed people who had committed crimes to roam freely in the holy of holies, even those who had committed murder. They even committed sins inside the holy of holies. The apex of the monstrosity was when they elected Phanni as a high priest – and it was said that he was a clown. Jesus is giving them an escape plan: They are to flee to the hills as the Romans will pillage Jerusalem, they are to flee hastily (the rooftop in that time was flat, and it is such a way that you can run to the city wall from the rooftop), pray that it will not be in winter as the roads will not be passable, and not on Sabbath as the gates will be closed. The Christians actually follow these instructions under the leadership of Symeon (a cousin of Jesus) where they flee to Pella in Pyrea, in the hills east of Sea of Galilee. It was said by Josephus that no Christian died on the holocaust.

(In fact, there is another event which is regarded as an appearance of “Abomination of desolation” by the Jews. It happens before the times of Jesus in 168 BC when Antiochus Ephipanes slaughtered 40000 Jews in the temple, sacrificed a pig on the altar, sprinkling the blood on the holy ground deliberately and put a statue of Zeus in the altar. At the times of Jesus, all Jews knew about this and they can be really scared when Jesus said that the next will be worse)

Again, we can’t determine the context of the text, whether it is only on the end of times or end of the temple, or both. Let us just say these points as “Signs 3: Tribulations”

Jesus continues by saying:

About how the Son of Man will return after the tribulations (24-26)
The elect shall be gathered from everywhere (27)
Again, to be ready as they know what will happen when it is near (28-29)
This generation will not pass away until all these things pass away (30)
Jesus’ words will ever be true (31)
Regarding the time of the second coming, only the Father knows (32)
Again, be on guard (33-37)

Let us say that these signs are “Signs 4: Second Coming”. Now, we all know that Jesus did not come when the temple was destroyed. However it does not mean that Jesus is not talking about the destruction of the temple. On the contrary, if Jesus is talking about the end of times all the while, the saying of verse 30 will not make sense. The statement will be “This generation will not pass away until the end of times and the tribulations pass away”! So this last part is, in my opinion, in favor of either “end of the temple” or composite context. The “end of the times” context is not able to stand alone without making the whole arguments confusing.

What is clear however, is that when the times of tribulation is over (depending on how you see it, we can conclude two different ways, that the tribulation has started and we are still there, or that it is still in the future) the Son of Man will return. And He will return in His full glory such that we can’t miss it. All of His elect will be gathered from everywhere, further supports that the second coming will not come until the Gospel is told to all nations. For that we must be ready.

I have not been able to reach into any conclusions, even though I have written all these. I’ll try to wrap it up in the next post.

On Mark 13

2010-04-14T21:35:00.014+08:00

So, this Sunday I'm supposed to lead the Bible Study. We are at 3rd study of the topic "End Times" now, and the topic is about "Signs of the Times". The passage is taken from Mark 13 (which is parallel to Luke 21 and Matthew 24, the similarities are striking, so I guess this is why they think Luke and Matthew referred to Mark's account when writing theirs).

Usually, I prepared it on Friday or Saturday. However, I wanted to be more prepared so I do it today (Wednesday). Little that I know, my decision to prepare it on Wednesday was a really big help. The passage was very hard for me to understand. It's like a cocktail of imagery, prophecy and sayings about past, Jesus' present, our present (reflectories), and the future. In short, my head is filled with things jumbled up together. Hence, I try to write this post. Just to help me sort out things. If you feel that this post is not written systematically, then please do understand that the writer is really dazed. Haha.

----

So let's start with the context. Mark 11 talks about Jesus going to the Temple in Jerusalem after the Palm Sunday. So He went to the temple on Monday (Mark 11:12), 'cursing' the fig tree in the way to the temple, cleansed it, taught the people (Mark 11:18, Luke 19:47) and went back on the evening (Mark 11:19). He came back the next day to teach (Mark 11:27, Luke 19:47) and here He told various parables, and amongst them are the hard critics to the state of Judaism and the Pharisee's hypocrisy (Mark 11 and 12). Mark 13 comes when Jesus is going back from the Temple (13:1) when one of his disciple (unnamed) talk about the temple.

And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" (13:1)

Now, the temple at that time is built by Herod (thus nicknamed Herod's temple), most likely to win the hearts of the Jews. It was said that the temple was indeed enourmous, Josephus account told that the stones measured 12 ft high and 18 ft wide (4x6 metres - larger than my room.. man, that's huge) and it was filled with white marbles and gold. Some says that at this point, the construction is still going, some also said that it only takes 3 years to complete (from 20 B.C.). Jesus' answer to that statement was this:

Do you not see these great buildings? There will not be left one stone upon another that will not be thrown down (13:2)

And that is what happened in history. In 70 AD, this temple was brough down by Titus when the Siege of Jerusalem ended. The siege was done because of the Great Revolts of the Judah Province (there are a lot of revolts going on there, the Zealots are one of them - refer to my post on the twelve: simon the zealot). The temple was pillaged by the Romans, and there were nothing left of the marbles and the golds. Up until this part, not much problem.

So He walk out of Jerusalem, and they went to Mount Olives (13:3). This temple is located just outside Jerusalem, and with an elevation level such that they can see the temple and its glory clearly - see the map.

Then Jesus' four closest disciples (Peter, Andrew, John and James) came to Him privately and asked him: "Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when all these things are about to be accomplished?" (13:4, ESV) and this triggers the sermon.

Now, two things piqued my interest here:

Why did Jesus went to Mount Olives? Was it a routine, or was it because He is preparing to make a reinforcement to what He is going to tell?
Mark and Luke state that the disciples said "when all these things are about to be accomplished" (13:4 and Luke 21:7) interestingly, Matthew said that the disciple said that "of Thy coming and the end of the world" (Matthew 24:3, the Indonesian translation to Mark 13:4 also refers to end of the world). It seems that the disciples equates the destruction of the temple with the end of the world! They are actually asking about the destruction of the temple.

Ok, moving on. Then Jesus said about these things:

To be careful as not to be deceived (13:5)
Many will say that they are Christ (13:6)
War and rumors of war will take place, and it needs to be, but it is not yet the end (13:7)
Nations will rise against nations (13:8a)
Earthquake and famines (13:8b)
But all those are only just the beginning (13:8c)

Now, was Jesus talking about the destruction of the temple or the end of the world? I mean, it is easy for us to come into conclusion that Jesus is actually talking about the actual end of the world and is trying to tell the disciples that destruction of the temple is not the end of the world. But if we are to be objective, it is still inconclusive. (1) and (2) is more reasonable if it is talking about the end of the world, but does not mean that the otherwise is an impossibility. (3) and (4) is acceptable for both, as in the timespan from 30 A.D. to 70 A.D. there's got to be much war. (5) is actually happening today, and I'm not sure whether it happened between 30 to 70 A.D.

So I began to ask myself: what is Jesus talking about, really? Does He answer according to the context of the questions raised by the disciples? Or does He talks about the actual end of the world?

Or, maybe He is talking in parallel. Both about the destruction of the Temple (as a prelude) and the end of the world (as the real deal). As all five points are progressive, and is 'not yet the end'. Whatever it is, let's call this part as "Signs 1: The beginning of the end"

Now comes the confusing one, Jesus told the disciple that:

They need to be on guard, as they will be prosecuted and questioned (13:9)
The Gospel need to be told to all nations (13:10)
When those happens, speak according to the Holy Spirit (13:11)
Betrayal by brothers and parents (13:12)
The disciples will be hated (13:13a)
Those who perseveres until the end will be saved (13:13b)

If "Signs 1" are more suited if we think that Jesus is talking about the end of the world. However, these next points are sayings to the disciples on what will happen to them after His ascension. If we want to be consistent with the context, we need to conclude that Jesus must be talking in the context of the destruction of the temples in this part.

Well, to be fair, the other also fits if you apply it to our time/end of the world context. But consider the fact that Jesus is talking to Peter, Andrew, John and James in private, and the 'you' in verses 9 to 13 refers to them, it would be more natural if Jesus is talking about what the first disciple are going to face, which means, He is talking in their context.

Again, these part can also be regarded as talking in parallel, the near future and the future. As these points are also progressive, and it is a fact that disciples, be it the first or now, are facing all of the above. So let's leave it there for the time being, and call it "Signs 2: Persecutions"

It wouldn't make sense if "Signs 1" talk about "End of the world" and "Signs 2" talk about "End of the Temple". It's either both are talking the same thing, or both are talking in parallel. And now you see why I am confused. Haha...

I guess I'll stop here for today and continue tommorow ;)

To Be Continued =P

Pring reketeg gunung gamping ambrol...

2010-04-13T23:39:00.003+08:00

I got this cool Javanese Rap Song from my flatmates =P it's cool and have a quite some Javanese philosphy in it. Scroll down for the translation =D (I put the youtube video featuring Jogja's pride: PSS sleman.. haha... other videos are a bit.. disturbing ;).. LOL)

Ngelmu Pring
Rotra

pring reketeg gunung gamping ambrol, ati kudu teteg ja nganti urip ketakol
pring reketeg gunung gamping ambrol, uripa sing jejeg nek ra eling jebol

pring deling, tegese kendel lan eling, kendel marga eling, timbang nggrundel nganti suwing
pring kuwi suket, dhuwur tur jejeg, rejeki seret, rasah dha buneg
pring ori, urip iku mati, kabeh sing urip mesti bakale mati
pring apus, urip iku lampus, dadi wong urip aja seneng apus-apus
pring petung, urip iku suwung, sanajan suwung nanging aja padha bingung
pring wuluh, urip iku tuwuh, aja mung embuh, ethok-ethok ora weruh
pring cendani, urip iku wani, wani ngadepi, aja mlayu marga wedi
pring kuning, urip iku eling, wajib padha eling, eling marang Sing Peparing

pring iku mung suket, ning omah asale seka pring,
usuk seka pring, cagak seka pring, gedhek iku pring,
lincak uga pring, kepang cetha pring, tampare ya mung pring
kalo, tampah, serok, asale seka pring, pikulan, tepas, tenggok, digawe nganggo pring
mangan enak, mancing iwak, walesane ya pring,
jangan bung, aku gandrung, jebule bakal pring

nek ngono pancen penting, kabeh sing nang nggon wit pring
pancen penting tumraping manungsa sing dha eling
eling awake, eling pepadhane, eling patine, lan eling Gustine
wong urip kudu eling, iso urip seka pring, tekan titi wancine ya digotong nganggo pring
bali nang ngisor lemah, padha ngisor oyot pring, mulane padha eling, elinga Sing Peparing

ora bakal bubrah marga iso melur, kena dinggo mikul, ning aja ketungkul
urip kuwi abot, ja digawe abot, akeh repot, sak trek ora amot
mulane uripmu aja dha kaku, melura, pasraha, ra sah dha nesu
aja mangu-mangu ning terus mlaku, sanajan ro ngguyu aja lali wektu
kowe bakal bisa urip rekasa, ning kudu percaya uga sregep ndonga
Gusti paringana, luwih pangapura, marang kawula ingkang kathah lepat lan dosa
aja nggresula, aja wedi, dudu kowe, ning Gusti sing mesti luwih ngerti
ngatur urip lan mati, nyukupi rejeki, paring tentreming ati,
cukup sandang pangan papan, bakal mukti pakarti

-------

Well, roughly it meant (In Indonesian):

*Pring = Bambu

Pring reketeg, gunung gamping (kapur) runtuh, hati harus tegar jangan sampai hidup (tertatih?)
Pring reketeg, gunung gamping runtuh, hiduplah yang lurus kalau lupa jebol

Pring deling, artinya berani dan ingat, berani karena ingat, daripada menggerutu membuat bibir sumbing
Pring itu rumput(?), tinggi tapi lurus, rejeki pelan jangan pada sedih
Pring ori, hidup itu ujungnya mati, semua yang hidup pasti mati
Pring apus, hidup itu ujungnya mati, jadi orang hidup jangan suka berbohong
Pring petung, hidup itu gila, tapi meskipun gila, jangan pada bingung
Pring wuluh, hidup itu bertumbuh, jangan cuma ngga peduli, pura-pura tidak tahu
Pring cendani, hidup itu harus berani, berani menghadapi, jangan cuma lari ketakutan
Pring kuning, hidup itu harus ingat, wajib untuk ingat, ingat kepada Yang Memberi

Pring itu cuma rumput, tapi rumah itu dari bambu
rusuk rumah dari bambu, tiang juga dari bambu, gedheg itu bambu
lincak (bench bambu) juga bambu, kepang jelas bambu, tampare juga cuma dari bambu
kalo, tampah, serok asalnya bambu. pikulan, kipas, tempat nasi, dibuat dari bambu
makan enak atau mancing ikan, alas duduknya juga pakai bambu
jangan bung (sayur rebung), aku suka, ternyata juga bambu!

kalau begitu memang penting, semua bagian tanaman bambu
memang penting buat manusia yang mengingat
ingat diri sendiri, ingat sesamanya, ingat kehidupannya dan ingat Tuhannya
orang hidup harus ingat, bisa hidup dari bambu, sampai akhir hayat ya akhirnya diangkat pakai bambu (peti mati biasa diangkat pakai bambu kan..)
kembali ke dalam tanah, dibawah akar bambu, makanya ingatlah, ingat pada Yang Memberi

ngga bakal rusak karena bisa melar, bisa dipakai mikul, tapi jangan ketungkul
hidup itu udah berat, jangan dibikin tambah berat, kalo terlalu repot nanti satu truk ngga cukup
makanya hidupmu jangan kaku, melebarlah, berserahlah, jangan marah-marah
jangan termangu-mangu tapi terus berjalan, sambil tertawa, tapi jangan lupa waktu
kamu bakal hidup menderita, tapi tetap harus percaya dan rajin berdoa
Tuhan anugerahilah: lebih banyak maaf, kepada hamba yang banyak salah dan dosa
Janganlah menggerutu, jangan takut, bukan kamu tapi Tuhan yang pasti lebih tahu
Dia mengatur hidup dan mati, mencukupkan rejeki, memberikan ketentraman hati
cukup sandang pangan papan, bakal memberi pengertian

Notes:
Pring reketeg itu frase bahasa jawa yang artinya bambu yang mengeluarkan bunyi mengerenyit, suaranya kedengaran seperti reketeg
Pring deling, pring ori, pring apus, pring wuluh, pring petung, pring cendani, pring kuning adalah tipe-tipe bambu dalam bahasa jawa

Obfuscated

2010-04-13T13:36:00.003+08:00

A small taste of what I've been doing on my office for over a week

01001ADECAFFED010205000210ABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCD0200
1F001A001F00140031009A001C09ED000A008B000001910000000000000301
0004003103020107A0000000620101000110A0000000090005FFFFFFFF8912
000000000110A0000000090005FFFFFFFF89110000000300140110ABCDABCD
ABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCD06001C43800314000D050400000112FFFF
0146011F80020081080108810700...

And what the hell is that? Friends, that's an Applet that is going to be installed on a SIM Card. Well, part of it.

My PL gave me an objective to study the structure of an applet bytecode. It was not a pretty sight haha. Anyway, I'm supposed to do a knowledge sharing this year on this topic as well, and the more I try to learn, the more I'm convinced that my audience will go to sleep instantly.

Hope it's not as bad as I think... Or maybe I should study more to find what we can do with these hexes..

Let there be bytecodes!

P.S. This is not a proprietary data, it's only a crappy applet that I used to develop on my training. I'm not stupid enough to post a product hex inside here. Anyway, I'm putting only the common and not-so-important part here >:)

Is there hope for every man?

2010-04-04T15:48:00.003+08:00

This is a video montage for my church's Easter Service. The theme is a call for us Christian to act and to care about our surroundings.

For those who came to our Good Friday Service or visited Hezron's blog, yes, this is a continuation from that three videos. Those three was made by Hezron (give you a big hat tip bro), and this last piece was an unplanned, rushed, "continuation" from the the third video. (I volunteered to do this piece right after the Good Friday Service). But it was fun, doing something that I have not done for a while -- and I do have been thinking of making a piece using this song.

The title "Ojo mung nyangkem wae kowe le" is taken from javanese language, and is not included in the version that is shown in the service. Directly translated to Singlish, it means "Don't just talk lah you!" - Hezron actually asked me to put the Surabayans Javanese "Jok cangkem tok rek!" but I will not have peace with it. lol.

The song "Every Man" is performed by Casting Crowns. It's a nice song right? short, simple, but yet it really transferred the message across the audience.

All pictures are courtesy of its respective owners, we apologize for any inconvenience caused. I took most of the pictures from Hezron's collection (you might realize I intentionally put some pics here, just to let those who have seen the previous video realize that it is a continuation), deviantart (this is where i have to give my deepest apologize for taking their works indiscriminately).

So is there hope for every man?

Yes there is.

Let there be light!

The odd people

2010-03-25T13:22:00.003+08:00

The real Christian is an odd number anyway.
He feels supreme love for One whom he never seen,
talks familiarly everyday to Someone he cannot see,
expects to go to heaven on the virtue of Another,
empties himself in order to be full,
admits he is wrong so he can be declared right,
goes down in order to get up,
is strongest when he is weakest,
richest when he is poorest,
and happiest when he feels worst.
He dies so he can live,
forsakes in order to have,
give away so he can keep,
sees the invisible, hears the inaudible,
and know that which passeth knowledge

A. W. Tozer, The Root of the Righteous

O, odd people, hear that.

Let there be light.

Will be watching

2010-03-22T12:45:00.003+08:00

Will be watching this show with my father. Excited. =D

On the way to work

2010-03-19T12:41:00.003+08:00

The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous.

They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
They are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.
Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalms 19:7-14

Stumbled on this verses on my way to work today. God forbids me from falling down further in disobedience. May my life be pleasing in Your sight Lord.

Currently reading

2010-03-18T23:23:00.001+08:00

The title sounds quite nasty right?

Well, the writer's standpoint is making me a bit confused, now I'm not really sure which side I am rooting for in this topic anymore. Haha..

The words of Agur

2010-03-17T22:46:00.001+08:00

Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
Two things have I required of thee; deny me them not before I die:
Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches;
Feed me with food convenient for me:
Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD?
Or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain.

Proverbs 30:5-9

My best days are ahead of me =)

2010-03-14T21:09:00.003+08:00

Guess what, Danny Gokey released his album just in time on my birthday =D. Really like this song, which gave me inspiration and motivation to see forward. Though he decided to make a secular album, I still think that he can still promote Christian values there as well =). Hands down my favourite American Idol ever.

Anyway, the song is nice and the lyrics is also very encouraging.

My Best Days are Ahead of Me

Blowing out the candles
on another birthday cake
Old enough to look back and laugh at my mistakes
Young enough to look at the future and like what I see
My best days are ahead of me

Life hasn't always been a party
but mostly it's been good
There's only one or two things that I'd change if I could
I don't get lost in the past or get stuck in some sad memory
My best days are ahead of me

Age is nothing but a number
Sometimes I have to wonder
What does it really mean
But I'm still putting it together
I keep getting better
if I keep getting better
I can be whatever I want to be
My best days are ahead of me

I've got sunsets to witness
dreams to dance with
beaches to walk on
and lovers to kiss
there's a whole lot of world out there
that I can't wait to see
My best days are ahead of me
My best days are ahead of me

Official video clip:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtWLedrjOcs&feature=related

Better sound quality:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMoS2tb4R7s&feature=related

Let there be light! =)

Let's start writing the 23rd page!

2010-03-13T18:40:00.002+08:00

Okay, I know I promised to write this note on Wednesday. Unfortunately, my body is getting the better of me and I fell pray to throat infection, that I have to stay bedridden for two days. So, let's just start this before it's not relevant anymore =P.

Okay so....

1. On Life Vision, I hope that I can have the confirmation on what I am going to do this year. Be it study or professional work or even, full-time ministry work if it come to that, I hope that I can have the confirmation from God this year. Or at least on the 24th page. (I know what I think I want to do, but I'm still waiting for God's confirmation)

2. On ministry, I am hoping to be able to start ministering as a speaker in FES-IM starting this year -- I hope. I need to find what will be most suitable for me to talk about. Maybe on leadership/fellowship management/church history. I also wish to be more effective being a PKTB, and have more focused involvement in student ministry. Having said that, I hope that I will not be neglecting my duty in church. Hope I can do them both in a balanced way.

3. On KTB, like I said, I want to be more effective. I want to be more focused on the people, having finished most of the curriculum (20% to go I think). Need to start preparing them for being a PKTB as well (if they wanted to be).

4. On relationship with others, I wish I can sort out this struggle that I had for the past 10 months =/. I hope that I can be a better friend for others, and stop giving circling answers (that would be hard as hell)

5. On that side of relationship..... like what i said on my last post.... errrrr.... hahaha. I guess I will still be as timid and as clueless as usual. Hoping for the best, but will not force my will if it is not His. I guess I will wait on God to show me His will. I like Danny Gokey's new song: My best days are ahead of me. Amen to that. =D

6. On personal development. I want to have more time on reading on bible expository, and I think I need to improve my quiet time as well. But more importantly, I have to improve on the applications of the word.

7. On personal relationship with God, as I said earlier, improve my quiet time, lean on God's mighty hand, and trust in His judgment. Don't want to have dry moment anymore, and stop falling in the same hole over and over again. God help me.

8. I want to be a good uncle. LOL

9. Double the amount of saving. Need to build up reserves for later on as I might be forced to take drastic measure. I think.

10. Stabilize my self on 65 mark. XD

11. Reduce my bad habits, and be a better listener.

12. Work harder, better, and increase my involvement in day-to-day operations.

13. And maybe.. I want to have a better structured life. I guess I am messy.

Well.. all thing being said and done, I think I will not be able to fulfill all that in one year. But hey, we need to aim high in life right? ;)

Please pray for me that I can be a better Christian, and be more like Him day by day.

"He who ignores discipline despises himself, but whoever heeds correction gains understanding.
The fear of the Lord teaches a man wisdom, and humility comes before honor"
(Proverbs 15:32-33)

And thus the twenty third page is on

2010-03-09T12:36:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's was my twenty-third birthday. I was sharing with my friends over my place on Sunday night, without realizing that they prepared a surprise party for me (that is, until nearing the midnight where some of them are acting a bit strange ;p). Anyway, I guess I am happy that I can spend my birthday with those who I regard as closest friend here in Singapore. It was cool. Thanks for the sharing and the surprise party.

Now, after one tiring day of writing comment on facebook wall due to the enormous amount of my friends who congratulate me via facebook, I did some reflections as usual. I reflect back at the previous year, the highlights and lowlights. Let me share with you some of them:

On my life vision, I am still sure about taking further studies and, God permits, becoming a lecturer. I just love working among students. Even though right now I am feeling very happy working in my company, old aspirations die hard. However, I have to admit that I do take some time to consider about continuing in professional field as an engineer. The door is still open for both. I have some ideas about it, but am still waiting for God's confirmation. Hoping to settle everything in three years time.
On my ministries, After five year exploring campus and church ministries, I have found what I think I wanted to do. I am still passionate about campus ministries and will run back with haste if I can contribute something. It's not that I don't want to serve in church, but I think that is my calling. But I won't stop ministering in church - it's just that I will focus my hearts on it. What I want to do? Maybe something that is closely related to me, teaching, equipping and leadership development.
On KTB, I have to say that we are at a crossroad right now, with Kentank going to final year next semester and the other three is (forced?) to seriously consider their future ministries. The previous year has been cool though. I have seen how some of them grow significantly, and discussions inside the group is increasingly getting interesting. There are still a lot of space to develop, but I'm satisfied, so far. Bru, if you're reading this, it does not mean that you can relax. I'm satisfied, but I'm barely satisfied. haha.
On relationship with others, I still think that I need to work out more on this part. period. being a phlegmatic-melancholic who were converted into choleric-melancholic is not.. easy.
On that side of relationship... ...errr.... Still clueless as usual I guess hahaha... But I have decided to spent 2009 in singleness after my last relationship. And guess what, it was a blessed experience, being able to explore more. I thank God for the year =).
On personal development, I think that I'm too focused on church history last year. I need to learn more on Christian Leadership and Bible Expository. On professional/academic side, learned a lot about SIM Card here in my work so I guess it's enough.
On personal relationship with God, this one is still tricky, roller-coaster as always. First half of my 22nd was dry, but the second was more encouraging. I do hope I can grow more in the future. I have to work on my recurring bad-habit though.
I'm going to be an uncle in 5 months time. duh.
I'm still as clumsy as ever.
My mouth is still getting the better of me.
I really enjoyed my work so far =)
Money spending... some said that I overspend my money, but on my side of things, I'm still on track of my saving plan that I decided after I graduate. And it was not an easy target. So... no, I don't agree with them. Haha.
At least I managed to stabilize over 67-69 over the year. Want to drop it to around 65. lol.

Now, I guess I need to start thinking about what I want to do next year.. I'll post that tomorrow. =)

Thanks to those who give their regards yesterday. I felt the blessings of the Lord through you.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Mighty To Save

2010-03-06T01:03:00.004+08:00

I'm hearing this song a lot these days. It is a treat to my ears and my heart, easy song to sing along as well. Nice. =)

Mighty To Save
Hillsong Australia

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.
Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Chorus:
Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Bridge:
Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

---

Three versions that I heard: Original from Hillsong, one from Michael W Smith, another from Don Moen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08YZF87OBQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYZQ6KN13jU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJUn7M7wUKM

The Anxious Heart and the Victory.

2010-03-04T12:34:00.003+08:00

"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."

(Psalms 139:23-24, NIV)

I read this verses last night on my quiet time. Now, as I am currently in pseudo-melancholic-ish mood, I do reflect a lot on my grimy heart, which is unable to fulfill the Lord's will. The more I try to do it, the more I realized that I am not capable of it. Even though I have been saved, truth is, I am still another sinner among sinners. I am only a sinner who is lucky enough to have been able to know Him.

But I have to say it always came back to me: "Lord, I always commit sin in my life, there's no day that I passed without committing sin, be it intentionally or unintentionally. I have those sins that I have tendencies to fall to, and even though the frequency is lower, I still fall in the same hole at times of my weaknesses." Now, I don't blame the evil force for it, as no matter what it is, the one who committed them is still, me. I won't get anywhere if I blame (borrowing C.S. Lewis' words) "our father below". However, I still can't get it out of my minds that Our Father Above is sad when I fall over and over again.

I shouted and shouted: "Why have you chosen me?", "How can you still forgive me" and even at one time, "Will you even want to forgive me once again?" I drew anxious and fall into my knees.

It was not until the night that I found my peace. Those verses gave me peace, because He told me that He know who I am. He told me that he understand what is inside our heart. He is not just fighting this battle with us -- He fought this battle FOR us.

And He won.

So God, please see my heart again, show me the depths of my own heart, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Thank you, Lord.

Let there be light (once again).

Fantasies on iPhone

2010-03-02T12:19:00.003+08:00

I checked iTunes store today and I found a surprising thing:

SquareEnix is porting the remake of Final Fantasy 1 and Final Fantasy 2 to iPhone.

And it is already available! =D

It's a good prelude before the real deal on 9th of March 2010. ;)

Gifts

2010-03-01T12:27:00.004+08:00

There are different kinds of gifts,
but the same Spirit.
There are different kinds of service,
but the same Lord.
There are different kinds of working,
but the same God works all of them in all men.

Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.

To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom,
to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit,
to another faith by the same Spirit,
to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit,
to another miraculous powers,
to another prophecy,
to another distinguishing between spirits,
to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,
and to still another the interpretation of tongues.

All these are the work of one and the same Spirit,
and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

The body is a unit,
though it is made up of many parts;
and though all its parts are many,
they form one body.
So it is with Christ.

(1 Cor 12:4-12)

This is part of yesterday's KTB topic: Spiritual Gifts. It's nice to see them so engaged in discussions....

....Though I'm starting to have tough times answering their questions.

I.Cannot.Die.

2010-02-25T11:43:00.002+08:00

"Whether life or death be mine, may Christ be magnified in me! If he has work for me to do, I cannot die."

- Henry Martyn

Died among strangers in the city of Tocat in Asiatic Turkey on October 16, 1812 at the age of thirty-one years old, on his missionary work. He worked alongside William Carey after abandoning his life as an academic for God's work.

Christ's work for Martyn was done, and he had done it well. He has received and will receive his reward - the promise of our faith in Christ. Do you let God work through your life? Your work here is not done. Not yet.

Dasar Iblis kalian!

2010-02-24T00:08:00.003+08:00

Charlo is distracted by something (read: someone) in canteen A in the middle of KTB.

Charlo: "Udah2.. kembali2... Saat-saat seperti ini nih Iblis tertawa terbahak-bahak"

*Kristo, Daniel, Kentank, Rendi serentak tertawa terbahak-bahak*

This is the preface of his book

2010-02-22T22:54:00.005+08:00

"My passion is to see people, churches, mission agencies, and social ministries become God-centered, Christ-exalting, Spirit-powered, Bible-saturated, missions-mobilizing, soul-winning, and justice-pursuing. The supremacy of God in all things for the joy of all people through Jesus Christ is the central, driving, all-unifying commitment of my life."

John Piper, Let The Nations Be Glad, 2nd ed.

So, if this is the first two sentence written in his book (in the preface), you can imagine the content. (Finally) read this book since a certain someone refuses to use this book in my KTB. LOL.

Let the nations be glad!

Euh.. I mean..

Let there be light!

American Idol Season 9 Round-Up

2010-02-21T23:11:00.002+08:00

So, this is the context of the story: I follow American Idol, but I totally forgot that it starts on January and when I realized around end of last month I had a lot to catch up. So I waited until the top 24 is announced (which is last week) and do quick catch up. And...

I'm not impressed =.='

True, the level of the people are quite good and around the same, but there are no real stand-outs among them, unlike last season's Adam Lambert and Danny Gokey

Oh well, that should do for now. Anyway, I am hoping to see some exciting competition this year at least... Don't make it a repeat of season 6 pleaaassseeee.... That was so b.o.r.i.n.g (well, actually that season had one bright side: Melinda Doolittle)

Anyway, I was listening to last year finals' song "No Boundaries", one by Kris Allen, one by Adam Lambert, then I just realized that DioGuardi is the writer of the song when I saw her version in youtube. The originals was better IMHO. See it yourself.

Kara DioGuardi's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDng1zxoLd4

Kris Allen's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Au78ra4HsUo

Adam Lambert's: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nvCwvX57a8

Yeah. This post is so American Idol. At least that's my favorite show other than House M.D. ;)

Let there be light ver 3.1 is operational =)

2010-02-20T12:48:00.003+08:00

Yes! The portfolio link in this blog is now accessible. I used wix.com to make things simpler as I don't have the necessary skills to do it from scratch haha.. But please pardon the high level of narcissism in the pages, as I don't know what to put =P. There should be one more tab after CV to put some files, but I decided to deactivate it for now as it would take some time to collect those file that I want to upload..

So I guess this is it for this year revamp of my blog =D.

Let there be light!

Back in Singapore

2010-02-19T14:03:00.002+08:00

That Was One Hell of A Holiday!

I felt refreshed today when I think the past one week that I had in Jogja. Especially the previous four days I spent with my friends. It was really nice feelings being able to come together, having fun and laughing back at our times in high school. It was nice to see that I still have such good friends there in my hometown, and it truly delights me to visit my friends convocation in UGM. Met so many old friend there, took photos here and there.

I am glad that I decided to go back for this CNY holiday. And I really didn't expect God to bring me this much joy in one week. We literally laughed and smiled at our past and give our regards to each other. It was fun =)

Ok. Back to the routine in Singapore I guess.

But I'm back with a bang! =D

Let there be light!

Equipping Layman

2010-02-17T12:18:00.002+08:00

I read Septian's post yesterday and those phrase catch my attention.

Coincidentally, I hook up with my friend who is the president of a campus fellowship here in Jogja and talked a lot about the context of student ministry and other stuff here in Jogjakarta.

And then I can't help to be reminded of one of FESIM core business, formacion a.k.a. discipleship. Then I wonder about its impact on mission and evangelism - both directly and indirectly.

I realized one thing: this is a field that needs cultivating. It is not as good as it seems, and I am really fortunate to live in a context where I can be equipped so much even when I am only a..

..Layman

Thank you Lord.

Let there be light!

Jogjakarta

2010-02-16T16:25:00.003+08:00

shAh.. the hometown... =)

It's been a while since I last came back here for holiday. And no matter how many times it is, it's always relaxing for me to be here. The food, the people, the books, the friends, and of course family.

This is Kaliurang NOT the city of Jogja OK? =)

Went to Kaliurang for Jadah hunting yesterday, and I realized how I missed the mountains after 5-6 years of absence from mountain adventure.. The smell, the woods, the fresh air and the weather -- simply breathtaking. It's a shame that Tlogo Putri does not sprout water any longer =(. But anyway.. I really do miss being here.

Well, I guess, I will treasure the remaining 4 days here. Man, 4 days left... Time really flies when you're in vacation. But not in the cubical.

Oh some health report. My eyesight is getting worse -- from -3.75 on left and right to -4.5 to on both eyes. What did you expect? I work full day in front of the monitor... =/

Let there be light!

Back to Business!

2010-02-16T14:06:00.005+08:00

Yes! I'm Baaaaackkk!!! =D

So, after a month or so in hiatus, I proudly present to you "Let there be light!" Vershun 3.0. Do give me your feedback on the new layout since I haven't validated the whole thing.. yet. Oh, and the "portfolio" link in the navigation bar doesn't have any content right now, so it will only redirect you to the "about" page. Other than that, it should be working just fine =). I'm trying to work on the portfolio in the immediate future, but finger crossed on when it will be finished. It will be Version 3.1 when it is released though ;)

I'm still on holidays right now, so I got a lot of time to spare. So when the rod is hot, I think I'll do whatever I can to make this blog a bit livelier than the 2.0 version =)

Anyway... can anyone tell me how to link this blog to Twitter? hahaha...

So, stay tuned for the next posts!

Let there be light!

On Hiatus

2010-01-27T22:00:00.002+08:00

As what the title say, I have to put this blog on hiatus for the time being =S. As my work and commitments are getting the better of me currently. *sob* -- I'm still living my life happily though, just that i have less free time lately ;)

Anyway, I hope to be able to start writing normally again by Chinese New Year. Let's hope I can light the candle again around then =)

So.. see you when I see you =p

The Lord knows

2010-01-04T22:40:00.000+08:00

This is taken from Charles Spurgeon's Evening by Evening. Simply hopes that it gave you a blessing, as it have done for me this evening.

----

And God saw the light.
- Genesis 1:4

This morning we noticed the goodness of the light, ad the Lord's dividing it from the darkness. We now note the special eye that the Lord had for the light: "God saw the light." He looked at it with satisfaction, gazed on it with pleasure, and saw that it "was good" (Gen 1:4). If the Lord has given you light, dear reader, He looks on that light with special interest, not only because it is dear to Him as His own handiwork, but also because it is like Himself, for "God is light" (1 John 1:5). It is pleasant to the believer to know that God's eye is thus tenderly observant of that work of grace that He has begun in him. He never loses sight of the treasure that He has placed in our earthen vessels. Sometimes we cannot see the light, but God always sees the light, and that is much better than our seeing it. Better for the judge to see my innocence than for me to think I see it. It is very comfortable for me to know that I am one of God's people; but whether I know it or not, if the Lord knows it, I am still safe. This is the foundation: "The Lord knoweth them that are his" (2 Tim 2:19). You may be sighing and groaning because of inbred sin and mourning over your darkness, yet the Lord sees light in your heart, for He has put it there. All the cloudiness and gloom of your soul cannot conceal your light from His gracious eye. You may have sunk low in despondency and even despair, but if your soul has any longing toward Christ, and if you are seeking to rest in His finished work, God sees the light. He not only sees it, but also preserves it in you. "I the Lord do keep it" (Isa 27:3). This is a precious thought to those who after anxious watching and guarding of themselves feel their own powerlessness to keep themselves. The light thus preserved by God's grace He will one day develop into the splendor of noonday and the fullness of glory. The light within is the dawn of the eternal day.

Gus Dur

2009-12-31T16:40:00.003+08:00

Just to give a tribute to our late ex-president. it's funny to read (albeit long) XD

Like the kiai part. =P

Di dunia ini ternyata ada empat hal yang tidak bisa diduga: lahir, kawin, meninggal, dan ... Gus Dur!

Oleh: Dahlan Iskan

Guyonan itu, rupanya, tidak berlebihan. Meski sudah banyak yang meramalkan bahwa penampilan Gus Dur di depan DPR Kamis lalu bakal ramai, toh tidak ada yang menyangka bahwa sampai seramai itu. Kalau bukan kiai, mana berani menjadikan pidato Ketua DPR Akbar Tandjung sebagai sasaran humor? Akbar sejak dulu memang selalu memulai pidato dengan memanjatkan syukur. Maka, Gus Dur pun melucu, yang membuat semua anggota DPR tertawa: syukur memang perlu dipanjatkan karena Syukur tidak bisa memanjat

Begitu menariknya, karuan saja pidato presiden kini banyak ditunggu penonton televisi. Padahal, dulu-dulu kalau presiden pidato di TV banyak yang mematikan TV-nya. Begitu tidak menariknya pidato presiden di masa Orde Baru sampai-sampai pernah para anggota DPRD diwajibkan mendengarkannya. Itu pun harus diawasi agar mereka sungguh-sungguh seperti mendengarkan. Untuk itu, perlu diadakan sidang pleno DPRD dengan acara khusus nonton televisi.***

Mungkin Gus Dur tidak menyangka bahwa suatu saat dirinya jadi presiden. Maka, di masa lalu banyak sekali presiden di dunia ini yang jadi sasaran humornya. Misalnya saat tampil bersama humorolog Jaya Suprana di TPI tahun lalu. Gus Dur menceritakan, Hosni Mubarak, presiden Mesir, sangat marah karena seorang rakyatnya membuat 39 humor yang menyakitkan hati Mubarak. "Saya ini presiden, saya bisa hukum kamu, apakah kamu tidak takut?" bentak Mubarak. pa jawab si pembuat humor? "Mohon ampun paduka. Humor ke-40 itu bukan kami yang membuat!"

Saat itu Gus Dur juga menghumorkan Pak Harto yang sangat ditakuti, tapi sebenarnya juga dibenci rakyat banyak. Suatu kali Pak Harto terhanyut di sungai dan hampir meninggal. Seorang petani menolongnya dengan ikhlas. Si petani tidak tahu siapa sebenarnya yang dia tolong itu. "Saya ini presiden. Presiden Soeharto. Kamu telah menyelamatkan saya. Imbalan apa yang kamu minta?" kata Soeharto. "Pak, saya hanya minta satu," jawab si petani. "Jangan beri tahu siapa pun bahwa saya yang menolong Bapak." Presiden Habibie yang doyan bicara itu juga dijadikan sasaran humor Gus Dur. Suatu saat Gus Dur yang terkenal gampang tertidur (tapi selalu bisa mengikuti apa yang dibicarakan orang selama dia tidur) menghadap Habibie. Sang presiden bicara ke sana kemari tidak henti-hentinya. Apa komentar Gus Dur? "Saya sih cuek saja. Biar dia bicara terus. Toh saya tidur," katanya.

***
Sikap cuek memang ciri khas Gus Dur. Namun bukan berarti mengabaikan. Dia memang ngotot tetap keliling negara-negara ASEAN meski banyak tokoh memintanya pulang (karena Aceh gawat). Bahkan, dia juga tetap ke AS dan Jepang. Dan, sebentar lagi ke negara-negara Timur Tengah.

Apakah Gus Dur cuek sungguhan? Saya kira tidak. Gus Dur tentu tahu bahwa salah satu syarat berdirinya sebuah negara adalah adanya pengakuan negara lain. Sepanjang tidak ada negara lain yang mengakui, maka berdirinya sebuah negara dianggap tidak sah. Nah, Gus Dur bisa sekalian keliling ke negara-negara itu untuk merayu mereka agar jangan memberikan pengakuan dulu
kepada Aceh atau bagian mana pun dari Indonesia. Kalau seluruh negara ASEAN tidak memberikan pengakuan, kalau AS dan Jepang tidak memberikan pengakuan, kalau negara-negara Timteng bersikap sama dan demikian juga negara-negara lain, maka kemerdekaan Aceh belum akan terjadi. Ini berarti Gus Dur masih punya waktu untuk negosiasi dengan Aceh. Selama kurun waktu yang pendek itu, Gus Dur bisa menuntaskan seluruh persoalan yang selama ini menyebabkan rakyat Aceh marah. Ini berbeda dengan soal Timtim yang memang tidak diakui dunia internasional sebagai bagian Indonesia.

***
Gus Dur memang kelihatan cuek, namun sebenarnya serius. Gus Dur juga kelihatan sering mbanyol, namun juga serius. Sikap cuek itu bukan saja tertuju kepada orang lain, tetapi juga kepada dirinya sendiri.

Suatu saat saya menjenguk Gus Dur yang diopname karena stroke di RSCM Jakarta. Saat itu saya memang presiden direktur PT Nusumma dan Gus Dur presiden komisarisnya. Saya lihat Gus Dur berbaring miring karena memang belum boleh duduk. Setelah menyalaminya, saya mengucapkan permintaan maaf karena baru hari itu bisa menjenguk. "Saya sakit gigi berat, Gus," ujar saya.

Tanpa saya duga, Gus Dur ternyata men-cuekin keadaan kesehatannya. Dia langsung memberi saya teka-teki yang ternyata humor segar. "Sampeyan tahu nggak, apa yang menyebabkan sakit gigi?" tanyanya. "Tidak, Gus," jawab saya.

"Penyebab sakit gigi itu sama dengan penyebab orang hamil dan sama juga dengan penyebab mengapa rumput sempat tumbuh tinggi," katanya. Saya masih melongo. Gus Dur menjawab sendiri teka-tekinya. "Yaitu sama-sama terlambat dicabut," ujarnya. Saya langsung tertawa.

Di saat yang lain pesawat yang akan ditumpangi Gus Dur ke Semarang batal berangkat. Padahal, dia sudah lama menunggu. Gus Dur biasa sekali antre tiket sendiri. Meski ada hambatan pada penglihatan, Gus Dur sudah sangat hafal liku-liku bandara. Saking seringnya bepergian. Saat itu di Jateng lagi getol-getolnya kuningisasi. Apa saja, mulai bangunan sampai pohon-pohon, dicat kuning atas instruksi Gubernur Jateng Suwardi. Maksudnya agar rakyat semakin mencintai Golkar. Maka, ketika para penumpang lain marah-marah, Gus Dur cuek saja. "Sampeyan tahu nggak mengapa pesawat ini batal berangkat ke Semarang?" tanyanya. Lalu, dia menjawab sendiri pertanyaannya: "Pilotnya takut, kalau-kalau begitu pesawatnya mendarat langsung dicat kuning," katanya. Humor ini kemudian menjadi sangat populer.

***
Begitulah. Hampir tidak pernah pertemuan saya dengan Gus Dur tanpa diselipi humor. Sasaran humornya bisa dirinya sendiri, bisa NU yang dia pimpin, bisa juga para kiai sendiri.

Pernah Gus Dur punya humor begini: seorang kiai datang mengeluh kepadanya karena satu di antara empat anaknya masuk Kristen. Sang kiai mengeluh, kurang berbuat apa sampai terjadi demikian. Padahal, dia tidak kurang-kurangnya berdoa kepada Tuhan agar tidak ada anaknya yang masuk Kristen. "Sampeyan jangan mengeluh kepada Tuhan. Nanti Tuhan akan bilang, saya saja punya anak satu-satunya masuk Kristen!"

***

Kita memang sedang melihat sosok presiden yang amat berbeda. Ketika dia salah ucap di depan DPR dengan mengatakan "tentang pembubaran DPR ... eh, Deppen dan Depsos..." dengan entengnya Gus Dur menertawakan dirinya sendiri sebagai penutup kesalahan ucap itu. "Yah, beginilah kalau presidennya batuk dan Wapresnya flu!"

Sama juga ketika dia tampil di forum internasional di Bali. Dengan entengnya, Gus Dur mengejek dirinya sendiri dengan bahasa Inggris yang sangat baik bagaimana sebuah negara yang presidennya buta dan Wapresnya bisu.

***
Dari semua tokoh yang berkomentar terhadap laku Gus Dur seperti itu, adik kandungnyalah yang bisa memberikan gambaran tepat. "Gus Dur itu seperti sopir yang kalau belok tidak memberi richting dan kalau ngerem selalu mendadak," ujar Salahuddin Wahid, sang adik.

Tapi, bisakah Gus Dur mengerem Aceh? Gus Dur tentu sudah mendengar Aceh itu ibarat kelapa. Seperti yang disampaikan seorang tokoh Aceh di TV. Rakyat adalah airnya, ulama adalah dagingnya, mahasiswa adalah batoknya, dan GAM adalah sabutnya.

Tokoh tersebut berpendapat ulamalah yang harus dijaga. Sebagai ulama, tentu Gus Dur lebih tahu bagaimana caranya. Gus Dur punya humor bagaimana harus merangkul ulama. Suatu saat rombongan ulama naik bus. Ada seorang ulama yang membuka jendela sehingga tangan si ulama keluar dari bus. Ini tentu bahaya dan melanggar peraturan "dilarang mengeluarkan anggota badan". "Jangan sekali-kali menegurnya dengan alasan membahayakan tangan si ulama," ujar Gus Dur. Lalu bagaimana? "Bilang saja begini: Mohon tangan Bapak jangan keluar dari jendela karena tiang-tiang listriknya nanti bisa bengkok!".

***

Lalu, bagaimana sebaiknya sikap DPR setelah dijadikan sasaran humor Gus Dur sebagai taman kanak-kanak itu? Sebaiknya dicuekin saja. Kalau DPR ribut terus bisa-bisa Gus Dur malah dapat bahan humor baru. Misalnya dengan mengatakan bahwa DPR ternyata malah seperti play group! Bahkan, tidak mustahil kalau Gus Dur justru berkata begini: Kok sampeyan yang tersinggung. Mestinya kan taman kanak-kanaknya!

Christmas Reflections

2009-12-26T01:33:00.004+08:00

Now, this is the most melancholic period of the year. Ever since I entered NTU and knew about Christ better, the month of December got.. A certain special meaning. This Christmas is no exception, as it was very special as well.

I tried to reflect in my life what does Christmas means to me (For they say, Christmas isn't Christmas 'til it happen in your heart). I started from the first week of Advent as I went through the traditional meaning of each candles lit every week: Hope, Peace, Joy and Love. I got mixed feelings, and I even experienced serious struggles in between them. Why does the second week of Advent celebrate Peace when I have troubles running into my minds? Where does the hope that they say comes with Him when I felt hopeless in my struggles? I can see the Joy in the celebration of Christmas, but it's not always inside people's hearts. And don't let me begin on the love - we are incapable of it.

But as today's Christmas service went through the candle light prayers I remember my friend back on the time of my late first year or early second year said on a sharing that:

"When an object moves towards a light or a candle, its shadow will grow bigger"

Now that was what we might experience in our life. We felt that even though we tried to do His bidding we are unable to do so. We felt that even when we tried to do what He commands us to do towards our neighbor, they don't response back or neglect us (it hurts even more when the neighbor is a fellow believer). We felt that we are hopeless men walking in sorrowful path, with the burden of our sinful ways (that we still walk into after we accept Jesus) crippling our spine.

But it is not because we are getting worse, neither it is because God is bullying us. But it is because He shows us what we need to do and what we are lacking of. He shows us who we really are by shining His light into our deepest, darkest heart.

Now that should make us realize that, even in our best condition, we are still far from God's standard. That is why we are able to appreciate His sacrifice even more: that God came down to earth as a humbled man to die on the symbolism of curses and stain. He brings hope to our life: for without Him we have none. He brings peace to our life: for without Him all is lost. He brings joy to our life: for without Him there is no reason to be joyful. He introduced to us what is love: for He is love, and with His love we are freed.

So to close this reflections, I want to share a song I used in the Christmas service when I am leading it. It is called "Muliakanlah" in Indonesian (KJ100), but in the original version, it is called "Ere zij God".

As usual, click on this link if you're reading from Facebook.

Ere Zij God

Ere zij God, ere zij God!
In de hoge, in de hoge, in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
In de mensen een welbehagen.
Ere zij God in de hoge, ere zij God in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde!
In de mensen, in de mensen, een welbehagen!
In de mensen, een welbehagen, een welbehagen!
Ere zij God, ere zij God!
In de hoge, in de hoge, in de hoge!
Vrede op aarde, vrede op aarde,
In de mensen een welbehagen.
Amen, amen.

Muliakanlah

Muliakanlah, muliakanlah!
Tuhan Allah, Tuhan Allah, Maha Tinggi!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Bagi orang pengasihan-Nya.
Muliakanlah Tuhan Allah! Muliakanlah Tuhan Allah!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi!
Bagi orang, bagi orang, pengasihan-Nya!
Bagi orang, pengasihan-Nya, pengasihan-Nya!
Muliakanlah, muliakanlah!
Tuhan Allah, Tuhan Allah, Maha Tinggi!
Damai sejaht'ra turun ke Bumi,
Bagi orang pengasihan-Nya.
Amin, amin.

Let there be Light in our hearts.

Oh and yea... Merry Christmas to all of you =)

Budi Soehardi

2009-12-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

I never heard this name before, but it was brought out by Yos last night and I checked about him afterwards. He received CNN Tribute to Heroes 2009, an Indonesian (and if I'm not mistaken, a Jogjakartans). Budi Soehardi was a pilot for Singapore Airlines, but he spend most of his salary to run an orphanage of 40+ children in Timor.

It was magnificent story of a Christian.. (I heard from Yos that he went to GPO when he's in Singapore) A real salt and light to the world. He actually turn words into action and it was encouraging to have someone like him giving an example.

Made me wonders sometimes, what is or role in this world? Did I spend my money correctly?

God, please teach me to be a true salt and light..

Below is the video of the awards. Click on this link in case you're viewing on FB..

Let there be Light!

Visit this link for complete videos and information on his work.

For every little thing

2009-12-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

I got this youtube video from my colleague. It was hilarious, while my brother and some of my friend call them 'lebay' ;)

The thing that come into my mind is that there are some things that we take for granted. We experienced miracles every day to the point of being ignorant about it. The air we breathe, the food that we eat, the body that we have, the workings of the earth, the movement of the solar system, the kindness of God's providence. It is all miracles that we overlooked and said that it was ordinary, simply because we always have them. But we forget that without God's providence, we will never be able to have them.

Let us not forget these 'little' miracle we have in our life, and thank the Lord, our God, for every little thing we have in our life.

Let there be light!

Now on Windows 7

2009-12-07T20:48:00.004+08:00

Last week, since I got a lot of free time to spend, I decided to overhaul my PC. I have planned to do it from 4-5 months ago as the Windows 7 only released on November.

The best part of this is: I got the Ultimate Edition for S$ 0.00 \(^^)/. Thanks to my cousin =D. He got technician license and I got one from him hehehe... Special thanks for ko Robert ;)

Now, the hard part comes later. When I tried to install the new OS, I found that my Desktop overheated pretty fast. Then it won't restart properly-- always got a blue screen every time i do so, and the DVD Drive was looking like a snail smashed by a car. I actually spend 3 days to figure out what's wrong (after patching drivers, BIOS and the keyboard drama)-- my power supply broke. Great. I knew it has been starting to get spoiled since last year, but I never thought that it was THAT broke. So I need to spend some of my money which I saved a new Power Supply-- and it really does its magic =D. Special thanks to the guys at www.dslreports.com, Topaz and Adrian for helping me out on solving this one.

So.. I got the OS free but need to pay for PSU, even though I still got some $ saved, but it still a bit sad. ---but wait--- when I checked the receipt of my old PSU i found that it's on 2 years warranty. The expiry date: 13 Dec 2009. Next Saturday. Muahahahahahahaha... I directly went to Funan to claim =P. So I guess, I can salvage some money by selling the repaired unit. All went nice and well I guess =D

If you do got some money to spend on OS or looking for new Desktop/Notebook, I really suggest you upgrade to W7 (that is, if you're not going for Mac). It's fast and responsive, better than Vista but as light as XP. ^^~

Now, I know that this post may sound a little bit geeky, but I really had a nice experience tinkering my PC for the first time =). Now I know a little bit more about it, and I guess it's learning by doing. I promise you that the next posting will go back to my usual topic. hehe. Until then, I just want to say, Have a blessed advent weeks to all of us! =)

God Bless!

Uncle-In-Waiting

2009-12-02T22:14:00.002+08:00

I didn't plan to blog before the issues with my PC are resolved, but there is a big news coming out and I couldn't resist not sharing here hahaha...

It really made my day ;)

...

now back to my dying Power Supply.. gosh...

On trying

2009-11-07T19:43:00.003+08:00

this is taken (with slight modification on a word) from C S Lewis "Mere Chrsitianity"

...many people are deterred from seriously attempting Christian [morality] because they think (before trying) that it is impossible. But when a thing has to be attempted, one must never think about possibility of impossibility. Faced with an optional question in an examination paper, one considers whether one can do it or not; faced with a compulsory question, one must do the best one can. You may get some marks for a very imperfect answer; you will certainly get none for leaving alone. Not only in examinations but in war, in mountain climbing, in learning to skate, or swim, or ride a bicycle, even in fastening a stiff collar with cold fingers, people quite often do what seemed impossible before they did it. It is wonderful what you can do when you have to...

I guess we are like that.. at least, i do, every once in a while.

May we always be reminded, that it was not ourselves who are working in imitating Christ, but it is always His Holy Spirit working inside us.

I really love this comic strip XD

2009-11-03T11:21:00.001+08:00

http://www.phdcomics.com/

Bryan is still in the kitchen

2009-10-30T17:12:00.002+08:00

It was a busy week as usual, trying to catch up with project deadlines and doing overtime. It actually got even more intense this week since the project manager are coming down to the Singapore office; meaning that we need to push for a demo to him. So, while I always said that I wanted to have some rest, I haven’t got any chance to have some. Haha…

So there I was, going home in Wednesday night, taking taxi since there wasn’t any bus going through my office after 8.15 pm (figure out yourself what time I went home, luckily it is covered). Now I was resting on the taxi and the driver played a very nice Chinese song. I enjoyed it so much I felt relaxed after a while. When the taxi passed near SPH, I started to realize that the tunes of the songs were… familiar.

Now, I am a twisted Chinese who don’t know any Mandarin, so it took me a while to realize it. I kind of heard the song somewhere, and I also found the “color” of the song to be very close to my ear. And then I heard the singer said ‘Yesu’. At that time I started to think that the songs I have been listening on were Christian songs. It picked my curiosity so I tried to listen to the song more carefully – and the more I hear the more I am convinced that it is Christian songs.

I mustered up courage to ask the driver about it, and it turns out that they were really Christian songs. I was really impressed with the driver when I find out; he was playing the songs to his passengers. And then he told me, something that made me even more impressed, he was a new convert. As his English was not good enough and he prefer to hear sermon and songs in mandarin, he found that Chinese songs are more suited to him. We actually shared some things on my way home. It was a blessed Wednesday, there are a lot of things to be thankful of that night and it made me smile.

The next day we had our demo, things went well, and it seems that the effort paid out. It’s not perfect, but at least I was relieved. So, that night I didn’t have any overtime work, and the team involved in the project went to East Coast to do barbeque with the product manager. They booked bbq pit #57, but when we alight at East Coast’s McDonald by a taxi driver ‘wise’ suggestion, we found out that we were off by… 34 pits and 3 sectors? Great – 40 minutes walk in the east coast prepares my stomach for what is coming. Haha.

Outside of that ‘incident’ it was quite an enjoyable bbq. There were 12 of us, and there were variety of nationality inside, Indonesians, French, Philippines, Indians, Chinese and Singaporeans. And throughout the discussion we actually tell the story behind our cultures, and why some uniqueness exists within each culture. It was great things to learn, and it was really insightful. Now I know why the PRC’s tend to speak in a unique style of English.

It was a mixed experience this whole week. Tired I may be, but I thank God that everything turns out well. It was his providence that really enables me. Thank you Lord!

Just a song I want to share =)

2009-10-25T18:13:00.005+08:00

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

I think you know what this is about. Even with the contextualization made inside the story. This was taken from Corinne May's song, "Five loaves and two fishes". I've been listening to her CDs lately (especially her Christmas album, 'The Gift'. Turn on music and air-con, it's early Christmas. Haha) and this is one song that catched my attention. Well, we know how things turns out but let's just go on with the song anyway =)

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said: "Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

Well maybe that's not exactly what happened there in the feeding of the five thousands, but she made an interesting remarks in her lyrics though. It was the willingness of the boy to give what he had, no matter how inadequate it was, fully to the hand of Christ. I have to admit it that the song was touching. But more than just that, it told the story in a different point of view. I posted the story in Andrew's and Philip's point of view when I made the entry for "The twelve" before, and this is another point of view that I found pretty interesting.

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer
So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Now, I know that some of you might found the idea of creating a study based on a contemporary Christian song to be a little strange or hard to accept, but you can made the same interpretation when you study John 6 as well. And to some of you who knew how to do IBS (Inductive Bible Study), you should have crossed about this if you ever had done IBS on the passage =)

Anyway, there she was, sharing her thoughts when she read about the story, and how she relate the story to her life. And I think, it was the same to our lives as well. True, we may not be someone big or someone powerful or famous enough to do God's work in earth, to disciple all nations under the Lordship of Christ. But He calls us to do so anyway. He wants us to work with Him even though He always knew who we are. In fact, He usually calls common people, and to tell you the truth, no one is good enough to do His work. He just want us to do His will and surrender our life into His everlasting arms.

I read about a lot of people in the 2000 years history of Christianity lately, and I can only say no matter how small we are, no matter how weak we are, God can use us, and it is precious in His eyes. Even when you are only a student, a office worker, or in my case, a software engineer. =)

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small
(No gift is too small)

A prayer from a reformer

2009-10-19T00:02:00.004+08:00

Been missing for a few weeks now from blogging, work and activities has been making me busy lately. Thank God for having been able to go through that with a healthy body though. Although, the coming weeks will be harder as well.. Please do pray for me.

I'm reading "Church History in Plain Language" by Bruce L. Shelley now. It was quite nice, as the title says, it's in simple English and quite exciting to be read. I'll give my review after finishing it.

But one thing that I want to share today is the prayer of the reformer, John Hus, when he was facing execution in the prison. In the midst of suffering and in the face of death, suffering and weakened, he still said this prayer, which have given me encouragement in those times of struggle.

O most holy Christ,
Draw me, weak as I am, after Thyself
For if Thou dost not draw us we cannot follow Thee.

Strengthen my spirit, that it may be willing
If the flesh is weak, let Thy grace preceeds us;
Come between and follow,
For without Thee we cannot go for Thy sake to cruel death

Give me a fearless heart,
A right faith,
A firm hope,
A perfect love,
That for Thy sake I may lay down my life
With patience and joy.

Amen.

Two Videos

2009-10-05T23:05:00.003+08:00

These two days I watched two videos that really made my day. One is the video of my friend who's contesting for PINDOL (NTUers.. do vote for them). The other is the video of remarkable figures of Indonesia, the sons and daughters of Nusantara, singing Ismail Marzuki's classic song (credit to Alison for showing this video in his wall). I put the two of them in this post. Hope you will enjoy them =)

The Twelve Apostle

2009-10-04T22:32:00.006+08:00

It takes me some time to finish this small project of blogging about the twelve original apostles of Jesus. I would say that throughout my readings I learned a lot of things. But the most remarkable words is that no matter who we are and how ordinary we are, God is the God who can change our life and enables us to do what he calls us to do. Our lives matters in the eye of the Lord, and he is willing to use us, no matter how weak or how imperfect we are.

Personally, I often find myself forgetting about this quite a number of times. I worried a lot about performing badly and felt unworthy of doing His calling into my life. But I thank God that He used friends to remind me that it was not me who is doing the works, it is Him, and for whomsoever He calls, He will give the power to enables them to do so. Seeing the life of the apostles reminds me of who I am, but more importantly, it reminds me of who God is.

So.. Just to give you the so-called homepage for the series of post about the twelve apostle, I made this post. I would like to give the credit of the post to Mr. John MacArthur though, since the content of the posts was taken largely from his books "Twelve Ordinary Men" (you can get it for S$15.90 at SKS. This post serves as a book review as well. LOL). Other source was taken from my notes of my church series of sermon two years ago about the apostles, and of course the Bible.

I would like to close the series with a sentence taken from the letter of an apostle who is not inside the twelve:

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Cor 12:9, NIV)

List of posts on the twelve apostles

Simon Peter (click here)
Andrew and James son of Zebedee (click here)
John son of Zebedee (click here)
Philip and Nathanael (click here)
Matthew and Thomas (click here)
James the Less, Simon the Zealot, Judas Thaddeus (click here)
Judas Iscariot (click here)

Let there be light!

The Twelve: Judas Iscariot

2009-10-04T22:19:00.005+08:00

We’ve come to the last apostle chosen by Jesus: Judas Iscariot. I have been unable to write since I was sick this week; but after sleeping my whole day off I don’t have anything to do other than writing this and read books. Perfect for me.

He is the most notorious and universally scorned apostle. He is always mentioned last in every account of Gospel, and every record of him in the Gospel includes a notation of him being a traitor. Simply put, he is the most colossal failure in all of human history. He committed the most horrible, heinous act of any individual, ever. He betrayed the perfect, sinless, holy Son of God for a handful of money. He spent three years with Christ, yet his heart always grows hard and hateful.

The other eleven apostles are all great encouragement for us since they exemplify how common people with typical failings can be used by God in uncommon, remarkable ways. Judas, however, stands as a warning about the evil potential in our heart. The New Testament tells us plenty about Judas; summarized into two points: (1) his life reminds us that it is possible to be near Christ and yet became utterly hardened in sin and (2) no matter what treachery he or she attempt against God, the purpose of God cannot be thwarted.

Who he was

His name meant “Jehovah leads”, a name which will always be remembered as the synonym of treachery. His surname, Iscariot, signifies the region he came from: “man of Kerioth”, a small town south of Judea. Apparently, he was the only apostle who did not come from Galilee. The Galilean disciple unfamiliarity with Judas would have aided him in his deception, no one knows who he was, and it would be easy to play the hypocrite. He was able to became the treasurer of the group and pilfer their money.

His calling into discipleship was not recorded in any of the Gospel accounts, but it is obvious that he joined willingly, eager to see the Messianic prophecy fulfilled. He obviously left behind all he have and followed Jesus. He even stayed behind when most of the less-devoted disciple left Jesus. He had given his life to follow Jesus, but he never gave Jesus his heart.

It seems that Judas has the same hope with most of the Jewish community: that the Messiah would defeat the oppressors and restore the kingdom to Israel. However, his motivation was more political than spiritual. He is interested with the things he could get from being his disciple, hoping to get wealth, power and prestige. He chose to follow Jesus, and Jesus also chose him. His role of betrayal was ordained before the foundation of the world; even prophesied in the Old Testament. Jesus knew that he will betray Him, and he knowingly chose him to fulfill the plan.

Having said that however, Judas was not coerced into doing what he did. No invisible hand forced him to betray Christ. He acted freely and without external compulsion, responsible for his own actions. There is no contradiction between being prophesied to betray and betraying out of his choice. It just perfectly concurred.

He had the same potential as the other disciples; the difference is that he was never drawn to the Person of Christ. He only saw him as a means to an end. His goal was personal prosperity; he never embraced His teaching by faith. He never had an ounce of true love for Christ. His heart had never been changed, and the light of the truth only hardens him.

Meanwhile, he was becoming progressively more disillusioned with Christ. It was no doubt that at the start all apostles thought of the Jewish Messiah as an oriental monarch who would defeat the enemies of Judea and reestablish the Davidic kingdom. Jesus was the obvious fulfillment of the Old Testament prophecy. But Jesus did not always their personal expectations and ambitions (and He did that to us too). The apostles left everything they have behind, but with an expectation of getting their reward. He did tell them that they will have their rewards, but not in the immediate time nor in the material reward. If they expect that kind of rewards, than they will be disappointed.

The eleven apostles catch who Jesus really was, albeit slowly, and their expectation and understanding was changed; they gladly became the partakers of Christ’s work in Earth. Judas, meanwhile, became disillusioned. He hid his disappointment within the blanket of hypocrisy, corrupting the money of the group in the meantime. His worldliness in his heart was never conquered, and he remained as an outsider secretly. As early as John 6 we can see Jesus call Judas as ‘evil’. He was starting to get disillusioned. By the time of Jesus last Passover, his spiritual disenfranchisement was complete, it turned to hate, mixed with greed that finally turned into treachery. He probably was convinced that Jesus had stolen his life; he thought that Jesus had robbed three years of money-making potentials.

Avarice, Hypocrisy and Betrayal

Let us turn back to the raising of Lazarus. Shortly after this story, Jesus and the apostles returned to Bethany, had a feast there alongside with Lazarus, Martha and Mary in the house of Simon the Leper. And there it happened, Mary took a pound of a very costly oil of spikenard and anointed the feet of Jesus, wiped it with her hair and the house was filled with the fragrance of the oil. This act was shocking in its extravagance, as it was not only an overt act of worship, but also because that it has an appearance of wastefulness.

Perfume, even at this time, was designed to be used in a small amount. To pour such an expensive perfume at one time was unthinkable. Judas then protested: Why was this fragrant oil not sold for three hundred denarii and given to the poor?

Three hundred denarii. Three hundred days of work. Imagine you work for S$2800 a month for a year – that’s how expensive the perfume was. And it was poured all at once.

His response was a clever ploy. He hid behind the names of the poor, and it seems that it was reasonable in the minds of the other apostles as well. He was an expert in hypocrisy. But the true reason behind it was so that he can steal the money for himself. No one sees his true reason, no one except Jesus. But he did not blast Judas with condemnation nor did he expose his true intention in front of the other apostles. He just gave him a mild rebuke. However, it seems that this event broke the last straw inside Judas, because right after that he made an arrangement with the priest to sell him for thirty piece of silver – that was all he can get, a price for a slave set in Exodus.

Our Lord has been anointed with such overwhelming love by Mary but at the same time He was betrayed with an overwhelming hate by Judas. This apparently was the first time Judas exposed himself and it was the first time he received a direct rebuke from Christ. He blended with the other disciple cleverly, he stored all his bitterness thus far, and it was poured in secret treachery.

Having collected the money from the chief priest he went to the upper room. He received Jesus’ teaching of humility by washing of feet, unmoved. As Jesus said that they were completely clean, but not all of them are clean, and said that one of them will betray Him, he could join with the other apostles in asking Him: “Lord, is it I?” We know what happened afterwards. Jesus dipped bread, gave it to Judas and told him this: “What you do, do quickly.” Even with this expression the other apostles did not realize that Judas was the betrayer. That was the extent of his hypocrisy.

Only after Judas left the upper room did the Lord institute the Lord’s Supper. To this day, when we come to the Lord’s Supper, we were instructed to examine ourselves lest we come hypocritically and bring judgment to ourselves.

He went straight to the Sanhedrin, gave them the way to get to Jesus secretly and let loose the event that lead to Jesus’ crucifixion. This however, was not an impulsive act or an act in the moment of insanity. This act was premeditated and planned carefully, and he has taken his payment for it. He waited to betray them in absence of the multitude. He was a coward, and we know what happened afterwards.

Jesus was still gracious to him even at the time of Judas’ betrayal. He still addressed him as ‘friend’. He had never been anything but friendly to Judas, but Judas was no true friend of Jesus. Judas profaned the Passover that night. He profaned the Lamb of God. He profaned the Son of God. He betrayed the Lord with a kiss.

The Death of the Betrayer

Immediately after he gave Jesus to the chief priest, he was disturbed by his conscience. He found himself in the hell of his own making. It was not because of his guilt caused by his sin, but simply because he did not find the satisfaction he expected. He even gave back the money he received, but nothing can undo what he had done. He threw the thirty coins of silver, and hanged himself afterwards.

He was such a tragic figure that his death was not even in the way that he wanted. Apparently, he fell after he died of hanging into a rock and burst open. His life and death were filled with grotesque tragedies.

Judas is a tragic example of lost opportunities. He heard the Lord’s teaching and he had all the opportunity to ask the Lord about his questions directly. Christ had given him all the opportunity to do so, yet in the end Judas was condemned because of his own failure.

Judas is the epitome of wasted privilege. He was given the highest place of privilege among all the disciples; and he squandered it for a fistful of coins that he throws in the end. He is the classic illustration of how the love of money is root of all kinds of evil.

Judas exemplifies the ugliness and danger of spiritual betrayal, but he is also the proof of the patient forbearing goodness and loving kindness of Christ. The sovereign will of God cannot be thwarted by any means.

After his death, his office was filled by Matthias. Nothing is known of Matthias other than that he was a disciple from the time of Jesus’ baptism by John. Another perfectly ordinary man was chosen.

The Case for Faith and Creator

2009-10-02T13:39:00.004+08:00

Book Title: The Case for Faith & The Case for a Creator
Author: Lee Strobel
Genre: Apologetics/Journalism
Price: S$ 9.50 each in SKS Bookstore

Last time I wrote a review on Strobel's first book on his investigation about the evidence surrounding Jesus claims and historical background which lead him to believe in Christ (you can read the review here). Apparently he wrote some other books discussing about different topics with regards to skeptics' claim against Christianity. I just put two titles in the same post here since i ~~am lazy~~ feel that the review on the two would be more or less similar.

The first book discussed about Christian faith, and the difficulties experienced by some people to be able to have faith in Christ. He discussed about 'The Big Eight' questions that always nag people's mind, Christian and non-Christian alike. I have to say that some of these questions have been bugging me at one time or another. Questions like the suffering of men, existence of hell and the controversial event closely related with Christianity is discussed in the book to provide the reader with a simple explanation.

The second book discussed about the existence of the Creator, answering the argument of infinitely old earth and evolution, investigating the phenomenon that is happening around us and marveling on how improbable the world is if it is just about a matter of chances. Lee Strobel interviewed both scientist and theologians alike to find out that science and God does not contradict each other.

Personally, I think that the topic discussed in The Case for Faith was more doctrinal, while the topic discussed in The Case for a Creator was more scientific. Nevertheless, like The Case for Christ it was written and explained in such an easy way that I didn't have much difficulty in understanding about it.

I would like to suggest anyone to read these books, but i need to give my remarks that the argument here will not be final in the sense that it will give the answer to all our questions. The critics of Strobel's books said that he didn't interview the skeptics to give their rebuttal to the theologians, and I would say that it would be interesting to read if he does that. But even with all its imperfection, I do think that these books will give the reader something to think about and insights about who God is, and what Christianity is all about.

Perhaps, the most impressive story that I read comes in The Case of Faith. Strobel interviewed the late evangelist-turned-agnostics Charles Templeton and did an interview about what he think about faith in the introduction, followed by the story in the closing remarks. I found it.. intriguing. Why so? Well guys and girls, read for yourself! =P

Children's Day Carnival

2009-09-27T20:15:00.003+08:00

My church held a community service yesterday. It was an event dedicated for the children's day, hence the church made a children's carnival day for the kids in Geylang area. Oh yeah, for those of you who don't know, my church is in Geylang area. Nice area for a church eh?

The Indonesian ministry was asked to fill in a game stall in the event, and it was me and Hezron who were asked to coordinate the games. We were confused on what games to do as both of us was not the type of guy who like to play this kind of games (we tend to disappear from outing games). Luckily, Ibu Dina was kind enough to gave us an idea on what we could make for the event: Fishing Game.

We went on with the idea, named the stall 'Fishermen's Friend' and to out surprise, it went quite well. In fact, the children seems to come endlessly to the stall (well, it was quite a crowd) and it was a really tiring evening.

The original plan was to use styrofoam cut as fishes, paint them using pylox and put hooks in their mouth. Turns out, it was a BAD AND STUPID IDEA. Cutting fishes out of a styrofoam was cumbersome, and the pylox would destroy and corrupt the styrofoam, literally. I never knew about this before --'. So, with only a few days left before the event we need a change of plans. We improvised and change the fishes from styrofoam into..

..Cans of soft drinks. Genius. LOL.

We take out all the cans from the church's recycle bin, select the usable ones, clean them and use them as 'fishes'. Please don't ask us how gross it was when we actually clean those cans. It was not a pretty sight. To make things worse, there seems to be someone who throw his lunch into the recycle bin for the cans. I leave that into your imagination.

Ah.. Things we do ~~to cut costs~~ for a community service.

The problem is, the cans must be filled with water to make the mouthpiece hookable, otherwise the cans will nungging and the mouthpiece will face down. But to make it so will make the 'fish' very HEAVY for children. We was afraid that the rod/string will break so we help them take the cans directly after they are able to lift it from the water surface a little bit.

Overall, it was a very interesting day. There were some naughty children who cheat a lot, putting the hook to the cans using their hand (might as well take out the cans themselves.. duh..). There was a kid who felt frustrated since he can't get 5 cans in three minutes and made a fuss with other children. There was a parent who protests to us that the game was too hard (while other kids seems to hit 10 cans in 5 minutes).

There was a kid who cut the line, came from my back and talk to me. He told me about his experience with fishing, how we could make the game more interesting, and even told me that he like a certain girl that was playing at that time. I could only smile and feel SWT! Children these days --'. I lost count of how many times I said "The game will be played for three minutes. Please try to get 5 or more cans in that three minutes. Those who are able to do so, please approach that uncle or that sister for a gift stamp. 5 cans in three minutes. Please don't touch the string. The game will start in 3.. 2.. 1.. GO!"

This experience made me appreciate the teacher of Sunday School more.. Really.. Haha.. Doing that for four hours straight with only 5 hours of sleeping time the night before was really tiring.. But it was cool =D. Special thanks to Anthony (a.k.a. that Uncle) and Nesha (a.k.a. that Sister) for helping us. Arigato Gozaimasu.

Sebelas

2009-09-23T15:52:00.004+08:00

~Sebelas~

Be Reminded

Tak terasa satu tahun sudah berlalu sejak saya menuliskan artikel untuk ISCF tentang eksistensinya didasawarsa pertama. Satu hari sebelum ulang tahun ISCF saat itu saya mengajak kita semua untuk mengingat kembali kebaikan Tuhan dan penyertaan-Nya selama sepuluh tahun NTU-ISCF melayani mahasiswa. Seiring ucapan syukur yang dinaikkan juga terdapat panggilan untuk memikirkan ulang dan mempertajam pelayanan yang ada, menyesuaikannya dengan konteks kampus saat ini, dan memantapkan kembali panggilan untuk bersaksi di tengah-tengah dinamika kampus yang tidak pernah terhenti (http://kristokuntadi.blogspot.com/2008/09/sepuluh.html).

Tak terasa satu tahun sudah berlalu, dan sebelas sudah menyongsong. Saya yang dulu dididik sebagai murid di dalam pelayanan inipun sekarang merefleksikan angka sebelas ini sebagai seorang pekerja kantoran. Satu hal yang terus terpikir: Visi ini tetap relevan.

Visi yang terus berkobar

Menumbuhkembangkan pemimpin-pemimpin yang serupa dengan Kristus yang berperan strategis di tengah kampus, gereja, masyarakat, bangsa dan dunia bagi kemuliaan Allah.

Saya berharap kalimat ini terus tertanam didalam hati dan pikiran teman-teman didalam NTU-ISCF, apapun kapasitas teman-teman dalam pelayanan ini, baik itu exco, pengurus maupun anggota. Tidak hanya anggota saat ini saja, namun juga staf, staf pendamping, narasumber, pktb dan alumni – inilah visi ISCF, this is the reason why ISCF is here in Singapore.

Masa kuliah sekarang ini umumnya merupakan suatu masa penjajakan yang krusial bagi kehidupan seseorang. Disini pola pikir dibentuk, idealisme ditanamkan, cita-cita dirumuskan dan kemampuan dipertajam. Disinilah seseorang mencicipi setetes kepahitan dunia. Disinilah pemikiran bertemu, worldview berbenturan, karakter bersinggungan dan emosi berbaur dengan ambisi. Saat inilah seseorang belajar baik secara akademis ataupun non-akademis. Mereka ingin dibentuk dan kuriositas mereka masih bertumpuk. Di titik inilah bahan mentah berubah menjadi produk jadi yang akan dilepas ke dalam dunia untuk panggilan masing-masing. Inilah alasan dibelakang kestrategisan pelayanan mahasiswa.

Tuhan memanggil kita untuk mewartakan injilnya kepada semua bangsa (Mat 28:19-20). Panggilan ini bukanlah semata-mata perintah untuk melakukan penginjilan verbal, namun juga memberikan pembaharuan sosial pada dunia, menjadi garam yang menghambat pembusukan dunia dan menjadi terang yang mengusir kegelapan sosial (Mat 5:13-16). Inilah panggilan murid-murid Kristus yang terlingkupi oleh perintah Allah kepada manusia untuk menaklukkan bumi (Kej 1:28). Panggilan ini mewujudkan satu frase yang muncul dalam doa yang Tuhan Yesus ajarkan: Datanglah Kerajaan-Mu. Kerajaan Allah di dunia menjadi nyata saat semua hal ditundukkan dibawah Kristus dan kasih-Nya.

ISCF memiliki 3 inti pelayanan di kampus: Penginjilan, Pemuridan, dan Misi (Evangelism, Discipleship, Mission). Mewartakan Injil keselamatan kepada sesama mahasiswa, mendidik mereka dalam Firman Tuhan dan mengokohkan iman mereka untuk menjadi impact terhadap dunia secara menyeluruh sebagai perwujudan misi Allah. Ketiganya menjadi core business kita, menjadi panggilan seluruh anggota ISCF. Teman-teman, INILAH PANGGILAN YAND DIBERIKAN UNTUKMU. Sudahkah engkau menyadari panggilan itu dan menjawabnya?

Dunia ini menjerit kesakitan ditengah kehausan akan kebenaran dan pengampunan dari Tuhan. Dimanakah orang Kristen saat dunia membutuhkannya? Dunia membutuhkan manusia yang takut akan Allah untuk menghambat pembusukannya. ISCF menjadi tempat dimana manusia-manusia itu dibentuk dan disiapkan, dengan mahasiswa Indonesia yang menjadi fokus utama kita. Karena itulah ISCF ada. Karena itulah visi kita terus berkobar.

Kuserahkan untuk Tuhan

Meskipun demikian, untuk mencapai hal-hal itu bukanlah sebuah pekerjaan yang mudah. Perlu kita ingat selalu bahwa kita manusia sudah jatuh ke dalam dosa dan sudah meleset dari tujuan mula-mula yang ditetapkan Allah (a tragic flaw, hamartia). Kepala kita mungkin mengerti apa yang harus kita lakukan, namun tangan dan kaki kita tidak (dan lebih sering lagi kita dapati mulut kita berbicara tentang hal yang harus kita lakukan tapi hati kita tidak menyetujuinya). Karena itulah Tuhan Yesus memperingatkan kita akan hal ini “Berjaga-jagalah dan berdoalah, supaya kamu jangan jatuh kedalam pencobaan: roh memang penurut, tetapi daging lemah” (Mat 26:41).

Bukan berarti kita tidak berusaha, bukan berarti kita tidak melakukan perintah-Nya. Manusia sudah jatuh kedalam dosa memang tidak mungkin memenuhi tujuan Allah, tapi Dia sudah memampukan kita lewat pengorbanan anak-Nya di kayu salib, dan Roh Kudus sudah diturunkan atas kita untuk menuntun kita dalam hidup kita. Saat kita dimuridkan Roh Kudus berbicara pada kita. Saat kita bermisi Roh Kudus yang menguatkan kita. Saat kita bersaksi Roh Kudus yang berbicara lewat mulut kita.

Karena itulah Paulus bisa mengatakan hal ini: “Namun aku hidup, tetapi bukan lagi aku sendiri yang hidup, melainkan Kristus yang hidup di dalam aku. Dan hidupku yang kuhidupi sekarang di dalam daging, adalah hidup oleh iman dalam Anak Allah yang telah mengasihi aku dan menyerahkan diri-Nya untuk aku.” (Gal 2:20). Tidak ada alasan lagi untuk menghindar. Kasih itu telah kita terima. Perintah itu telah nyata kita dengar. Roh Kudus sudah diturunkan atas kita. Hanya satu hal yang masih perlu dilakukan manusia: MENJALANKANNYA.

Tapi apakah kita menjalankannya? Kita sudah mempunyai ekspektasi tersendiri tentang hidup kita di tingkat mahasiswa. Kita ingin menikmati masa muda kita, bersenang-senang dengan teman-teman, hidup bebas tanpa harus mengikuti aturan-aturan orang tua (dan kebanyakan dari orang tua kita ada di Indonesia), mencari pasangan hidup, berpacaran sesuai keinginan hati kita, tenggelam dalam studi tanpa memperhatikan sekeliling kita – mengikuti keinginan hati kita, lupa mengkonsultasikan dan mengecek ulang itu semua dengan kehendak Bapa.

Tidak jarang kita sadari bahwa keinginan-keinginan itu, kenikmatan-kenikmatan itu harus kita korbankan kalau kita mau mengikuti perintah Tuhan. Berapa banyak waktu bermain game yang harus kita relakan demi menyiapkan bahan KTB? Seberapa sering kita merasa ‘terpaksa’ untuk tidak mengunduh (baca: download) film-film bajakan meskipun mempunyai internet 100 Mbps? Menyedihkan sekali karena seringkali meskipun kita tahu bahwa keinginan kita tidak sejalan dengan perintah Allah, kita memilih untuk mengkompromikan Firman-Nya.

Berapa banyak standar Tuhan yang kita kompromikan pada saat kita merasa bahwa itu tidak sesuai dengan keinginan kita? Seberapa sering kita menghindar dari tanggung jawab kita dengan bilang bahwa “ah itu ngga kontekstual buat hidup kita di sini.. ngga usah dilakukan gapapa kok..” atau “wah kalo gua sih ngga cocok ya ngelakuin yang kaya gitu.. terlalu ekstrim ah..”?

Well, Excuse me? Since when did we become the one who set the standard? Sejak kapan kita yang menjadi lembaga sensor buat Firman Tuhan, menentukan mana yang kita jalankan mana yang tidak? Bukankah Firman Tuhan yang seharusnya menjadi lembaga sensor buat kehidupan kita? Sejak kapan perintah Tuhan itu bisa ditawar? Betul bahwa kita bisa membaca “TUHAN adalah penyayang dan pengasih, panjang sabar dan berlimpah kasih setia.” (Mazmur 103:8), tapi kesabaran Tuhan itu tidak diberikan supaya manusia ngeles – ingat bahwa Tuhan Yesus menghardik iblis “Janganlah engkau mencobai Tuhan, Allahmu!” (Mat 4:7). Ingat bahwa inilah standar yang Tuhan inginkan buat kita: “Karena itu haruslah kamu sempurna, sama seperti Bapamu yang di sorga adalah sempurna” (Mat 5:48)

Friends, it is time for us to wake up and start moving. Mulailah dengan merefleksikan Firman Tuhan di kehidupan teman-teman, siapakah teman-teman sebenarnya dihadapan Firman Tuhan saat ini. Mohonlah ampunan untuk setiap Firman yang kita korupsi dan berdoalah kepada Roh Kudus untuk memimpin teman-teman. Dietrich Bonhoeffer menulis dalam buku “The Cost of Discipleship” satu hal yang sebenarnya Tuhan cari dalam kehidupan kita: Simple Obedience.

Memang jalan itu sempit dan tidak mudah. Memang kita harus menyangkali diri kita dan membuang segala hak dan mimpi kita dibawah salib-Nya. Tapi Tuhan sendiri sudah memberi teladan kepada kita lewat kerelaan-Nya untuk menjadi manusia, miskin, ditolak oleh umat-Nya, dianiaya dan disalib. Sekarang giliran kita untuk setia. Saya ingin mengutip kata-kata Bonhoeffer sekali lagi yang saya rasa sangat tepat dalam hal ini: “When Christ calls a man, He bids him COME AND DIE.”

Menyongsong Sebelas

Saya sudah berbicara terlalu panjang, dan mungkin menyakiti hati teman-teman dalam prosesnya. Tapi inilah yang harus kita sadari untuk bisa benar-benar menghayati visi pelayanan ini, untuk bisa menjalankan visi itu dengan sepenuh hati dan untuk mengerti panggilan Tuhan dalam kehidupan teman-teman sebagai mahasiswa. It does not apply only to students, but to anyone who dares to call him/herself a Christian.

Inilah saatnya untuk bangun dan mulai bekerja jika teman-teman belum melakukannya. Inilah saatnya untuk menggenapi panggilan Allah dalam hidup teman-teman. Jadilah generasi yang mengerti arti dari membayar harga, berkorban dan menyangkali diri demi memenuhi visi dan panggilan Allah. Ijinkan saya menutup dengan mengutip lagu ini:

Masa mudaku ini kuserahkan buat Tuhan

Untuk melayaniMu sampai akhir hidupku

Oh, Tuhan hamba lemah, b’ri kuat kuasa firmanMu

Untuk menjadi pekerjaMu

Selamat ulang tahun ISCF. Semoga eksistensimu benar-benar menjadi garam dan terang bagi kampus NTU, dan eventually, dunia. Soli Deo Gloria.

You just killed Beethoven

2009-09-22T13:28:00.004+08:00

A doctor are consulting another doctor regarding abortion issue.

"About the termination of pregnancy, I want to ask for your opinion. The father was syphilic, the mother tuberculous. Of the four children born, the first was blind, the second died, the third was deaf and dumb, and the fourth also tuberculous. What would you have done (to the unborn fifth child) ?" The first doctor asked.

The second doctor replied, "I would have ended the pregnancy."

The first doctor concludes, "Then you would have murdered Beethoven."

- Maurice Baring, quoted by John Stott in "Issues Facing Christian Today", additional information added.

The Twelve: JSJ

2009-09-21T20:13:00.005+08:00

Now, let us move on to the last group of four out of the twelve. We will discuss on three apostles at once in this post. It’s not that I’m lazy to write about them one-by-one. It’s just that we only know very little about them, even virtually nothing for some. The last four was almost unknown, except for you-know-who: Judas Iscariot. We will get to him in the last post. For now, please welcome James the Lesser, Simon the Zealot, and Judas who isn’t Iscariot (a.k.a. Thaddeus, a.k.a. Lebbaeus).

James son of Alpheus, the Lesser.

The ninth name in all scripture recording is James son of Alphaeus, and that is all that we know about him.

Seriously.

The only thing we know about him is his name, his father’s name and his family. If he ever wrote anything, it has been lost. If he ever told about anything or did anything notable, it is not recorded. He is neither stand out or notorious, totally obscure, totally common – even his name was totally common.

We know about James son of Zebedee, we know about James the brother of Jesus, but this James, eludes us. We know about the name of his father (Alphaeus), we also knew that his mother’s name was Mary (Mark 15:40) and his brother’s name was Joses (Mark 15:47, Matthew 27:56). We know more about his mother than we know about himself, which is, Mary was one of Jesus devout follower, she was a witness in the crucifixion event, and she was one who prepares the burial of Jesus. Even his nickname shows that he is not prominent: “the less” or mikros, meaning young or little.

From that nickname, scholars predicted that he might be someone quiet, small and young, who prefer to stay in the background. Nevertheless, he is still one of the apostles who in the end was used greatly by the Lord, and will have his name inscribed in one of the twelve gates of the heavenly city.

More interesting speculation about him is that Matthew’s father’s name was also Alphaeus, but we can’t conclude that James and Matthew were brothers. We also knew that in John 19:25 there was a woman named ‘Jesus’ mother’s sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas’ mentioned. Now, if this ‘Mary, the wife of Clopas’ and ‘Mary, the wife of Alphaeus’ was the same (meaning Clopas is the nickname of Alphaeus) then it is possible that James the Less was Jesus’ cousin. But again, this is just a speculation.

But one thing we know, James the lesser, might be the apostle who resembles us more than the other eleven: total nobody.

Simon the Zealot

Remember when I said that one of Jesus’ twelve apostles was a terrorist? Well, meet Simon, the Zealot. He was also mentioned as ‘Simon the Cananite’. It was not a reference to Canaan or the city of Cana, but rather, it came from the word qanna, meaning ’to be zealous’. He was evidently at a point of his time a member of the Zealots, a widely feared outlaw political sect in that period of time. The fact that he was a member of the Zealots tells us that he has a fiery and zealous personality.

The historian Josephus mentioned about four main sects of the Jews at the time of Jesus. The Pharisees were the fastidious one about the Law, the religious fundamentalist. The Sadducees were the rich, aristocratic, powerful, religious liberals who deny the supernatural. They were in charge of the temple. The third sect was the Essenes, who were not mentioned in the Scripture at all, but it was a group of celibate people studying the Law and secluded themselves in the caves of Qumran (said to be the one who wrote the Dead Sea Scroll). The last sect was the Zealots.

The Zealots was more politically minded than the other three. They hated the Romans, and their main agenda is to overthrow the Roman occupation. They advanced their agenda through acts of terrorism, violence, or even sometimes, assassination. In terms of the Law, they are similar to the Pharisees, but they are the militant version of the Pharisees. They believed that God Himself was the one who had the rights over the Jews, waiting for the Messiah to come and free them from the Romans.

They revolted once in 6 A.D., having thoughts that paying taxes to the Romans was treason. They revolted in a guerilla-style and terrorism actions, but eventually quelled by the Romans, and killed their leader, Judas of Galilee. His sons were crucified by the Romans. After that, they went underground. They formed a group of assassins named the sicarii (dagger men) who brought a curved dagger everywhere and would be ready to kill Romans soldier and politician from behind, stabbing at their ribs, expertly ripping of their victim’s heart. Galilee was their main hideout and they are so zealous that they won’t falter even in the face of tortures.

It was believed that the Romans siege over Jerusalem and their plunder over the temple were caused by the Zealots. The Romans under Titus Vespasian in 70 A.D. surrounded the city, cut off their supplies and sacked Jerusalem. It was even said that the Zealots would kill any Jews who wanted to negotiate with the Romans, allowing no one to surrender. Titus Vespasian eventually destroyed the city, slaughters thousands of Jews, and stole every treasure inside the temple. The Zealot blind hatred of Rome eventually brings the destruction of the city the loved the most.

Now Simon was one of them. The reason why he followed Jesus’ might be of a political one: hoping that Jesus the Messiah would bring an end to the Romans. Interestingly, he would be included in the twelve apostles along with Matthew, the tax collector. Well, I believe he would gladly kill Matthew because of it, or at least despise him, but of course, it doesn’t happen. He changed. When Jesus didn’t do anything to the Romans oppression (even saying to the Jews to pay the taxes of the Romans) we would be thinking that Simon will be disappointed and leave. But he did not. He changed because he knew Jesus, and he sees the truth.

Judas who isn’t Iscariot

The name Judas became notorious after Judas Iscariot betrayal. Actually, it was a very common name and a very good one. The name ‘Judas’ meant ‘Jehovah leads’. But after Judas Iscariot, it will forever be remembered as the name of the worst traitor in human history. He actually has three names: Judas, Lebbaeus and Thaddeus. Judas was probably his given name, while ‘Thaddeus’ meant ‘breast child’ or in today’s terms, ‘Momma’s child’. ‘Lebbeaus’ had a similar meaning, which is ‘heart child’. It seems that in the same group who had a traitor and a terrorist, there was someone who had a tender and childlike heart.

Like the James the lesser and Simon, few are known about this guy. But at least there was a record of him in John’s Gospel. The account came from (again) the Upper Room when Jesus held the Last Supper. It was when Jesus said to the disciples that “He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father and I will love him and manifest Myself to Him” (John 14:21). Judas (not Iscariot) then said to Him, “Lord, how is it that You will manifest Yourself to us, and not to the world?” (John 14:22).

Here we see the tender-hearted humility of this man. He doesn’t say anything brash or bold or overconfident. He didn’t rebuke Jesus like Peter once did. His statement is full of gentleness and devoid of any signs of pride. Jesus would manifest Himself in the eleven common people. Judas (not Iscariot) can’t believe it. He thought that it would be far better if Jesus would manifest to the whole world. Now, that’s really something!

This was a pious, believing disciple. This was a man who loved his Lord and who felt the power of salvation in his own life. He was full of hope for the world, and he hopes to see His Kingdom come into the Earth. Jesus would then give him a marvelous answer: “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him” (John 14:23). Christ would manifest Himself to anyone who loves Him.

The three unknowns

It was amazing that through various yet ordinary, defected people God would want His name to be glorified. James was a virtually unknown guy, without anything special attributed to him. If there’s anything special about him, it was ‘nothing special’. But tradition said that he brought the Gospel to Syria and Persia. His death was also obscure, some said he was stoned, others say he was beaten to death; some others say he was crucified.

Simon was a member of a rebellious terrorist sect. He was zealous but fiery. He might join Jesus for the wrong reason, but in the end he was changed, and through him, God is glorified. After the destruction of Jerusalem Simon took the gospel north and preached in the British Isles, and disappeared from the biblical accounts. No reliable records about his death, but all records said that he was martyred. The one who was willing to kill for his political agenda is transformed into someone who was willing to be killed for the proclamation of salvation.

Thaddeus was the gentle hearted apostle who experiences salvation in his life and wanted others to experience Jesus manifesting in their lives. He wanted to see His Kingdom come into the Earth and he shows it in his life. He brought the Gospel to the north, to Edessa (Mesopotamia, around Turkey). There was a record that he healed Agbar the king of Edessa. His traditional apostolic symbol was a club, because it was said that he was clubbed to death for his faith, following the Lord faithfully until the end.

Thus we know the eleven faithful apostles, who are very ordinary in their life accounts, but resemble our lives more than any others. God wanted to use them to fulfill His goals, and he transformed their lives. God can do the same to you and me.

Three ordinary men, with an extra-ordinary God transforming their lives.